We don't have any real relationship problems, but he says he wants to live alone. He's moving into an apartment owned by his friend, the next road over from the one we live on. I asked if it meant that we would no longer be together, and he said we'll see how it goes and that he would still pick me up for work and my son (not his, 15 years old) to school, and take me home every day, because I don't have a car. It all seems so odd...and terrifying to me! I cry when I am alone because I think this may happen before the end of the week... oh and we are still going away on holiday in December!! Advice? can anyone figure out what's going on here? What do I tell my son.
2006-10-02 13:34:19 · 14 answers · asked by Caroline1505 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My husband had practically been living with me (he stayed over every night for almost a year and was always at my apartment) for a long time before he propsed and then he proposed to me and decided that he needed to move out of his parents house and rather than moving in with me he lived with a friend. And he didn't come and see me hardly at all and was really distant, but then we got married and moved in together and he's been great. He said he just needed some time to feel independent and be on his own for a while. Now he comes home every night right after work and I get to cuddle up with him and he's all mine. So I wouldn't worry about it. He probably just needs a little indepent time and doesn't know how to tell you that. You could try and talk to him about it but I think the fact that you are still going away together in December is a good sign and he's still picking you guys up, I don't think he'd do that if he was thinking of ending it. I know it's tough but you'll get through it and he'll have a clearer picture of what he wants and you should get a clearer picture of what you want too. Your son is old enough to understand that people need space so just tell him the truth. Good luck and sorry you have to go through this.
2006-10-02 14:01:16 · answer #1 · answered by hideemosquito 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he wants his space for whatever reason ... and of course you have no choice but to give it to him. However, he should communicate a lot better. "We'll see how it goes?" After a 12 year relationship, that is a real weird answer. I think you may know in your head and heart what is going on here- if something has happened. He is on his way out phyisically, then mentally. Don't be there waiting for him if and when he decides he left the best thing he's ever had! I think it is actually very cruel of him. Good luck.
2006-10-02 13:39:36 · answer #2 · answered by Recreantess 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it sounds like you do have serious relationship problems. You just might not be aware of it yet. If he's saying "We'll see how it goes" in response to a question about whether or not you'll still be together...well...that's not how you respond to someone you've been in a relationship for 12 years with. You need to have a serious sit-down with him, and tell him you want to know the truth about what's going on with him, because right now not knowing is much more painful than if he would just lay it on the line. What he's doing to you right now is an insult to your intelligence, and extremely disrespectful to your 12-year relationship.
2006-10-02 13:42:55 · answer #3 · answered by Jess H 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think you should go about your business of finding another man. I would make plans on finding a car real quick. If you turn the tables on him and make him think you can pick up and go on in life without him he may change his mind and if he don't you will be on the road to recovery already. He may feel you depend on him to much by making him take you and your son back and forth to work and school.
2006-10-02 13:41:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him. Appearantly he was not too happy in the relationship no more(his statement "we'll see how it goes" implies that). You might want to consider trying to talk to him to find out exactly why this is happening. Then focus on yourself and trying to get your life on a different track, where you truly can say you are independent, because you cannot control what he does, you can only control what you do....good luck
2006-10-02 13:40:56 · answer #5 · answered by MARIANNE G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow......didn't he give you any warning...any sign that things weren't going well?
It sounds to me like he's leaving you sweety, but knows you depend on him for the rides and such, and apparently continues to do these things for you.....for however long.
I'm sorry!
If you and he have no meeting of the minds on this you need to ask him what's going on! As for your son......dang that's another tough one. I guess you will have to tell him the truth, but not until you know yousef what that is. You'll have to tell him when he's moving out once you know that. HE should talk to him himself in my opinion, but it sounds like whatever is going on in his mind, or heart, that he's washed his hands of you for some reason.
You hadn't been arguing over anything? Any long-term disagreements? Was he aggrivated with you over something? there HAS to be a reason. Did he possibly meet someone else?
I have more questions than answer for you I'm afraid.
I hope you get some kind of resolution to this. How awful of this guy to do this to you and your son!
HUG
2006-10-02 13:44:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really feel for you, I am currently living with my BF of 6 years and I dont know what I would do if that happened. I think that you should figure it out before he does and give him an altimatum. This is no good for your son. Sh*$ or get off the pot, thats what I would say! Good luck
2006-10-02 13:40:08 · answer #7 · answered by fancy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's really strange. that happened to me, too, except my boyfriend and i were together for 2 years. he told me he was moving out to live on his own. i later found out that the only reason he wanted to move out was to be with another girl. i'm not saying that your boyfriend is necessarily cheating on you, but i would keep my eyes open if i were you. make sure nothing is going on. he might just want some space. either way, it must be hard for you. you should ask him why he's doing this and tell him how you feel. good luck!
2006-10-02 13:42:58 · answer #8 · answered by Damon ♥ Elena 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he either wants to slowly break it off and is making it easier on you but doing this but still hanging out so you et used to the idea that he isnt always around, or his cheating on you and this is easier if he has his own place..then he doesnt have to worry so much about bring her or him into your home..sorry babe..but this doesnt look good..just try and get used to the fact that its not going to last long, if he asked you for money after he leaves, tell him to **** off, because his just using you..and who is paying for the holiday, you or him. sorry to hear this, but i hope everything goes well, and also, are you to clingy, that makes alot of guys want to back off and be alone. maybe you should give him some space, i cant really say much because i dont know you or him and the situation, but have a look at it, maybe its you. maybe it him, maybe its both of you, if you want it to work out, realise what the problem is, and try and fix it without him knowing your going out of your way to fix it, coz it might freak him out..sorry but im not much help..
2006-10-02 13:42:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Something may have happened or he is wanting sometime to think that this is what he wants. Ask him and see what he says. Ask if he is doubting what they have built together or did something happend to where he doesnt want to hurt you. It never hurts to ask. Set yourself up just in case you are going on your own. He still cares about you if he wants to make sure you are doing ok.
2006-10-02 13:41:02 · answer #10 · answered by x_angel_0f_darkness_x 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋