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its not everyday but i do drink some...i think she smokes pot but im afraid to say anything because we have done it together and she may be able to use that against me...i have even asked her for it before. She is a stay at home mom(2 kidsfrom present marriage) and can be there for the kids more and that also scares me.,..they hate my live in gf too....am i going to lose them...the kids plan to tell the judge they want to go back to her....i dont know what to do

2006-10-02 13:30:59 · 11 answers · asked by pharoah_the_midget 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

11 answers

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2006-10-02 13:33:52 · answer #1 · answered by #2people 1 · 0 0

I don't know how to tell you to keep them. You need to step back and look at the picture - where are the kids better off? Maybe you could work out an agreement with you ex to visit them often... tell her that the kids need a father too. But no matter what happens just be sure to tell you kids AND show them how much you love them every day. If the drinking is not a problem for you but it is for them then it IS YOUR PROBLEM and it needs to stop for their sake. You'd just be grasping for non-issue things to persue the weed thing - especially since you've also done it - that's hypocrytical. So I'd drop that... I wouldn't attack her in the proccess... she sounds like a good mother and just because you don't get along doesn't mean she's not a good mother... and your kids don't need to hear their parents bickering and hating each other because they love both of you. They should be told not to take sides and that their parents' problems have nothing to do with them and the parents have to work things out - in a mature way - and not stick the kids in the middle of it. But like I said - there may be no way to keep your kids if they want to go with their mom and she is able to take care of them but do everything you can to make sure that your kids know that you love them. That is the most important thing.

2006-10-02 13:40:38 · answer #2 · answered by THATgirl 6 · 1 0

Take the recommend of the different solutions - GET a strong lawyer! once you've documentation, the clarification the decide skimmed - as you position it - over it, would have because you've been no longer forceful adequate. question - what's this letter the instructor wrote about? What does this instructor study your man or woman life? and how previous is your son? If he's having a habit situation, it would nicely be because he's being chop up between you and your EX. you probable attempt to self-discipline him while the daddy provides in to him each and every time he needs something. per chance you 2 ought to get some Cancelling on parenting a toddler even as there's a divorce.. It ought to be determined between the moms and dads and under no circumstances through some decide! once you've 50% custody, HE should be paying you some variety of kid help and upkeep. You aspect out money yet no resources? the position are you residing?? the ingredient is, ignore about what you desire, imagine about what's maximum proper for the youngster. in case you won't be able to have the funds for an lawyer or won't be able to help the youngster on your man or woman, i'd enable him have 50% custody yet lay down your man or woman regulations as to once you divide this youngster up! At YOUR convenience, no longer his. the position precisely is your EX from?? There at the prompt are not too American adult men who may have the funds for to employ a lawyer right this moment!

2016-10-16 03:15:20 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

You really have to think about what is best for the children. The courts will make a decision based on this. You should really be talking to a family law attorney about these issues. Even if she does get custody, you are still the father and should see your kids every chance you get. To me, if you want to keep your kids, lay off of the booze and start doing something to better your relationship with your kids. Not only that, I would be pressing that girlfriend of yours to start showing your kiddos some love. You have to think like your kids.....we all want our mothers and hardly want to settle for anything less. Good luck!

2006-10-02 13:36:56 · answer #4 · answered by swtz69drmz 5 · 0 0

You are raising kids so you don't want to drink. Kids can say a lot of stuff but parents could be influcing them. Until you do stop drinking you are going to lose your custody battle. My friend just experienced the same thing. She lost her 4 kids and she only drank some. So be careful

2006-10-02 13:34:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

we cant relly help you on this because it would not be fair to the kids they will only tell the judge what is best for them not what someone programes them to say, he will talk to the kids at seperates times and make a ruling on what he thinks will be best.a live in gf is not there mother ,and by her being there more for the kids might be a plus for her. if the kids do go back to there mother still be there for them and for the love of GOD pay the support so the kids want suffer

2006-10-02 13:48:37 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0 0

You've already given in! It sounds as if your throwing your hands up - giving up. If you seriously, SERIOUSLY, don't want to lose your kids - then be pro-active, make the changes! Don't drink in front of them, wait until they are in bed - then it's adult chill time. Spend time with them - I don't care if all you do is make a box of Jello pudding with them - do something, make it fun. Show them, genuinely, that you are interested in what they are interested in, ASK questions on something they are good at - they will enjoy being able to tell you all about it. The situation won't change unless you change it - and if you don't change it, chances are, the kids will go with mom.

2006-10-02 13:36:35 · answer #7 · answered by Kristen G 2 · 0 0

how old are the kids? it sounds like you both have dabbled in the drug stuff but so what? are you home with the kids or is your gf the primary caregiver? if the kids wanna go then maybe let them for awhile but also let them know you love them and will be there for them if they want to come back. why are you scared to let them go? is your ex abusive or neglectful?

2006-10-02 13:38:22 · answer #8 · answered by rwl_is_taken 5 · 0 0

This is very sad for the kids. Two parents who can't get their act together. Clean up your act and be a responsible parent for your childrens sake. Stop making more mistakes and by all means don't make anymore children.

G.G.

2006-10-02 13:57:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Without evidence, the he said she said thing does not work. If your drinking is effecting your children to the point that they do not want to live with you, then you have a serious drinking problem and need some help.

2006-10-02 13:34:52 · answer #10 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 0 0

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