My son likes being held all the time, how do we get him to not cry if we put him down?

Question

He's seven weeks old and he loves being in mommy and grandma's arms...how can we get him to be happy sitting in his swing or just staying put in his crib for a little while?

He has a swing that runs on batteries and plays music but he's not very into it yet. And we have a bouncer too and that kinda works but he tends to cry first.

Answer 1

Well, my advice is going to fly in the face of most of what's written here. I realize that actually holding a babyi n your arms constantly is impossible, which is why I recommend new parents invest in a Snuggly or baby sack. It allows baby to stay close to the parent, but leaves the parents hands free. Babies are very intelligent creatures, even at 7 weeks of age. They realize they are helpless, and their survival depends on having mom, dad, or some other dependable adult near by- preferably in reach or at least sight. If you need to put them down, the next best thing is to place them in the carrier seat and sit them near by, where you are still in sight and hearing distance of them. Talking to them as you move around helps as well. What you talk about isn't as important as the fact you are confirming to the baby that you are still near and they still have your attention should they need something.
I've raised 6, and none of them particularly liked being left alone in the crib while they listened to life go on elsewhere. They liked being at least part of the action, though that part was often limited to sitting and watching. I had a little play set, looked like a minitiature swing set with things dangling off of it. I'd set that in front of them while they sat in the carrier seat. We had lots of things to dangle off the top of the swing, once they were big enough to sit in it. But they always did best when kept in the room with us- not left all alone in another room. They often napped during the day in either the carrier seat, the swing, or a playpen in the living room. When they woke up, they found themselves still in the midst of the family with no need to cry to let us know they were with us again.
I personally think the advice to leave a child to cry is cruel. Babies cry for a reason, whether you find it a valid reason or not. Refusing to at least acknowledge the cry for help is teaching them you are not a dependable person to rely on when they need help. Put yourself in their position for a few minutes. You can't talk, so you can't explain what the problem is. You can't move around on your own- you need help to do anything. You have very little control over your own body, and you can't even feed yourself. Now lets leave you on your side or back, alone in a room. And when you hollar for help, the people you thought were going to help refuse to come. When they do finally arrive, they decide you lack a good reason to hollar, so they leave. How do you suppose you'd feel? Do you think this would instill a feeling of trust in them?
I'm not saying you have to hold or carry baby every moment of the day- but I am telling you that you do need to respond to the crys at least with a verbal acknowledgement. If you keep the baby near you, where they can see and hear you, they really tend to cry much less. As he grows older and is better able to interact with the world around him, he will depend on you less for entertainment and constant comfort. Meantime, he is still a tiny person getting used to a very strange world, much different from how it was before.
If you involve the baby in activities aroung the home, you'll find he slides into the schedule of things a lot quicker. If you reserve the crib for naps and nighttime, and bring him out into the other areas of the home during the day, he gets the general idea that we are up in daylight and sleep at night. Once they realize you are going to respond to them, they have less need to cry for attentention only, and cry less in general. Leaving a baby to cry can make a very anxious baby, who cries even more in frustration and misery. Even if the baby cries, and you are unable to fix the problem, the baby will draw comfort from your efforts. Sick babies cry less when held, although they still feel just as ill, than they do when left alone.
So my advise isn't a way to hold the baby less, it's just to change the way it's done. In cases where that can't be done- like when you are cooking or ironing, etc- put them in a seat of some sort and keep them in sight of you. Talk to your son, the subject doesn't matter, while you work. I assure you he will cry less as he gets a little older and learns you can be depended on to at least answer his calls reliably.

Answer 2

Hey,

I got a swing from Target and it worked great, it swings side to side, and front to back.....Put the swing by the window, let him see everything outside, or put it by a lot of bright stuff, Red and Black always catches a baby's attention, Are you might have to give him tough love, if all else fails, put him in his crib, let him cry it out, after 5 mins crying, go in there, let him know everything is ok, and leave out, let him cry for 10 mins the second time, and go in there and do the same like u did the first time, the third time, let him cry 15 mins...Normally they will fall asleep....It's tough but it work for my two...Good Luck!!!!

Answer 3

I for one disagree with the "cry it out" thing. This was developed by people have busy lives and cannot focus their attention completely on their new child for at least the first couple months of life, where it is actually the most important. It probably gets annoying as hell, not being able to put your son down and actually being able to do something on your on for a while (I know it annoyed me) but I found that around 4 months my daughter starting getting more and more independent, and now she is 2 and wants to do everything herself, and will only snuggle when she wants to, which isn't that often (as I would like :) ).
People often think that if a child is clingy from the get-go, that the best thing is to "break the habit" but usually time will run its course and you will see that all the snuggling and holding actually showed him how loved he is which in turn will allow him to develop Independence.

Answer 4

This is a tough one. Especially since he is so young. My best advice is to swaddle him in the crib or put a cuddly friend in the swing with him. Of course, this will only work for awhile because at around six months, seperation anxiety sets in and he will get clingy all over again. It's at that time, that you just have to work through it and let him fuss a little.

Answer 5

Babys are very smart little people.. sounds as if you have spoiled him a little bit already.. It is very good for the little ones to cry and as soon as he finds out that one of you isn't going to run and pick him up as soon as he whimpers a little bit the sooner you will be able to sit him down and go about doing what you are needing to do.. Put him in his swing make sure that he is dry and has been fed.. turn the swing on a little bit and just leave him there while you are doing your chores around the house.. it won't hurt him to cry .. and it will give you a chance to get things done..
He will soon realize that crying won't get him picked up.. And for gods sake don't let him sleep in your bed that is another hard one to break.. he needs his own space as much as you need yours.
you can also put a blanket on the floor near you so you can talk to him. lay him on his tummy with some pretty toys around him and he will be fine.. that way you can watch him..
Or put him in his bedroom in his crib.. won't hear the crying quiet so bad with him in there. just check every once in a while to make sure he is fine.
good luck spoiling them is fun until you want to do something..

Answer 6

Don't go running to him everytime he cries....I think this was the hardest thing for me especially since I'm a first time dad w/ a little girl (means I am a big sucker), but in the end you learn the only reason they keep crying is because you keep appearing. Think of it as their light switch...they flick the switch and the light comes on...so anytime they want light they just flip the switch.

I played the stereo so the crying wouldn't drive me batty and just checked in on her now and again in a sly fashion (she didn't see me checking on her) and after a week or two of this the whole crying thing stopped.

Answer 7

Oh boy. I made this mistake with my son when he was that old. Its hard to do because he is already used to being held. Honestly the only real way to do it is let him cry it out for a bit.

Some people are going to tell you that letting a baby cry for a bit is hurting them or is child abuse. If its child abuse, then half of us in this world would be in jail. Let him fuss for a bit, then walk up to him while he is in the swing and let him know you are still there in the room with him.

It will take a while to break him of this but you have to be tough. There were many days I cried because I let my son cry instead of picking him up all the time.

Answer 8

lay him down on your shirt or your moms so he can smell your sent and think your still there. in other words your tricking him to thinking he's with one of you.
give him your night gown you wore the night b4 or give him the shirt you wore today. if you go out change your shirt as soon as you get home so he can have a clean shirt wear it for a few hours so your sent sticks. if you wear a big
t-shirt you could swaddle him w/it i went through this it works. i don't recommend letting him cry for to long he's still young and can suddenly stop breathing from crying for more than 4-5 min he can chock or gag on his saliva let him cry but watch him don't leave the room.
good luck

Answer 9

Hold him! At this age, he is not being vicious or vindictive. I really don't think that at 7 weeks, he is thinking, yep, I will cry so they hold me.
9 month in and 9 months out. 9 months is how long it will take for them to realize that you are not part of them. Buy a sling, then carry him around everywhere, I swore by it!

Answer 10

Have you tried a vibrating swing? Or put him in his carrier, and put the carrier on top of the dryer...of course stay with him - but turn the dryer on to make the carrier vibrate.