ohhhh!!! help please! really!?

Question

recently i have felt down. i have been kicked out of my third school and in the middle of my gcse's. i feel messed up. on friday i got completely wasted. REAL BAD! and so much happened. i got taken advantage and i was out of it. then today i gave this guy a blo job, normally i felt agaisnt that but i didnt care. this guy was also my friends major crush and loves him but he just wants fun with her, i did tell her he didnt like her in that way so she didnt get hurt. i told my two closest friends today and they were shocked and think i have changed. also my close mate was told by his mate that his mate wants to have sex with me and i said yes. it hasnt happened yet but i think it will. my close mate is a guy who fancies me so badly, i feel bad but i cant stop myself. basically do u think this is a sign of depression and can i get a std from doing wot i did to him as i swallowed. im 15... i know im young. pleeease dont be harsh on the answers.

Answer 1

You are clearly suffering - majorly from very low self - esteem which may be causing the depression that you are feeling and the lack of judgement and impulsivity.

You are not treating your body like it is your temple - which it is. Not only can you get an STD from this - you can die from one. And most of them have no physical symptoms and it only takes once - and that can end the rest of your life. It is essential that you get tested and that ANY and EVERY person you are with be tested before you are with them - before and after every partner - that is how to be safe. You can still use condoms for oral sex - you have to.. this is your life you are talking about here.

You are at a rough age - one where you hormones are all over the place and you don't even know who you are yet andyou are trying to figure that out in a world that can sometimes be a let down - and can be so tough, we don't know how to find who we are. But - this is NOT the way to do that. You are going to regret this behavior and because you posted this Q - you show signs of wanting to stop it - you know that it is not right.

I don't know your past - if your parents were split up, if your father was never around or if you have ever been raped or molested - even verbally or physically abused in some other way (not sexual) - anything like this is your history could be causing you to act out to get the attention you did not get as a child.

Do one thing for yourself - figure out what you are getting from this behavior - does it make you feel loved, wanted, important, etc - what is causing you to do this over and over again. I don't want you to keep doing it - you have to respect urself or no one ever will - we are the only for sure thing we have in this life and you are not being kind to yourself at all - you are abusing yourself and putting your life on the line. You are playing Russian Roulette with your life! It is like a loaded gun that you are dealing with - taking chances.. it is not worth the risk.

Try to get in to see a counselor - you don't have to go through this alone. I would abstain from any sexual relations until you act on them based on an emotion - not this one but one based on love - that is how you express love -sharing your body with someone else - you don't share it with just anyone - you are too special for that - you are a good person.. you sound like one - one who is confused right now. But - that confusion does not have to make you suffer and it can make you grow instead. You have to stop yourself and stop these urges right now. Stay away from guys right now and spend this time getting to know WHAT is causing you to act out like this - what feeling is it giving you that you continue to do this - cause there must be something you are getting from it. Figure out what that feeling is and get that from another outlet - a safe one where you show respect for yourself.

Maybe you should try to get a self help book and I wouuld recommend giving yourself daily praise - say good things to urself in the mirror every morning and night - tell urself that you deserve more, you deserve to be loved and not used - you deserve to be happy, you are a good, beautiful person who has to respect her body, tell yourself that you respect yourself - tell yourself so many times you will believe it one day - this is done in all sorts of therapy and is shown to work. Read a book about this - about low self esteem and find one that has exercises you can do - questionairres about yourself so you can start to get to know yourself better and find the cause to this.

If this is depression you may need meds right now to help you through this time and there is nothing wrong with that - most people need antidepressants at one time or another in their lives - I did and it is ok. Your brain chemicals may be all over the place and you are going through puberty and changing into a woman but the most important part of that you are missing out on - growing into a beautiful woman who respects herself and her body and who then carefully chooses who to share that beauty with - who is worthy of that?


Love should be expressed with making love. For some reason you have been viewing sexual acts in another way then this which is why your history may have something to do with this - explore that - think about any abuse that may have ever happened to you.. It is ok to think about this and to get help - you need it sweetie :o)

You are worth more than this and I know you are hurting and I feel so bad that you are - no one should feel like this. Sometimes in other "mental disorders", like bipolar, people experience poor impulse control and feel rather manic - hyper - sometimes go on spending sprees or can't sleep - etc.. not saying this is what you have but because of the change in your hormones, you may be feeling like this -like out of control of your own body. And it is time - NOW to take control. Now - not later - you don't want to wake up one morning and just cry about what you have done to yourself and God forbid something happen to you - that you have to take 30 meds a day for the rest of your life to fight HIV - that you can't ever share your body with someone that you love cause you acted like this and hurt yourself.

I beg you to stop - stay away from guys right now and if your friends are not trying to help you, find new friends. I would stay close to your family - tell your mom or someone that you need to see a psychologist or psychiatrist (that is the one for meds) to talk - that you are going through a lot in your adolescence and that you need someone to talk to right now. It is ok - do NOT be ashamed of that. You are ashamed right now and I don't want you to be - don't settle for this feeling - don't do anything with this guy.

Guys that like us - we don't have to have sex with them to show them that we like them too - and in fact when you do haev sex with a man too soon, he will NOT respect you - he will think you are like that with everyone and won't want a gf like that - men will use you. You don't want your name to get around town as that is what you are known for - you want to be known for your confidence and beauty - self respect, sense of humor - faithfulness, honesty.. all of those things that you are inside but that are being hidden by the pain that you are in - these are the things you want people to know about you - not the ones you are showing them now. Change before it is too late.. please - you don't want this.

Surround yourself with positive people and do the exercises above - you need to see a professional to talk to to see if you need some antidepressants right now or if there is something else going on. If you have something in your past that is making you act out (lack of attention or love as a kid, abuse, a perfectionist, feel like you are never good enough - anything) Anything that is making you act like this now - you have to find out what that is - it is essential to moving on. Identify it - figure out why and change that - now.

Things won't always be like this but you have to give yourself a chance - to live - you are risking YOUR ENTIRE LIFE OVER THIS - DON'T DO THIS TO YOURSELF. You deserve to be loved, to be respected, to have one man in your life to share this with. You can date other people but don't have sex with them and don't date right now at all cause right now you don't know how to and when you gain some self respect and learn how to share yourself with someone and learn that that does not mean you have to give your body to someone - then you should date. Not now - you can't.. too risky. You have to spend this time with you - now - then yuo can date and see what you like in a guy.. you may not even know what you like cause you are not focusing on your needs at all - just on theirs. The way this makes you feel is just for those few moments, an hour - but this feeling - the one that you had when you wrote this- this will last every day and night until you work on you.

I am sorry this answer is so long but I feel so bad that you are suffering and risking your life.. it is not worth it. When you do learn how to date (see people, have them "court" you - get to know them) without sex - then you can see what kind of man you like - and then only see him for a long time and when you two fall in love - then you can make love... but make sure the next time you have sex - it is not just sex - make it about love, about making love - you don't see it like that right now and until you do -you should not do anything with a man anymore - at all. You have to love you before you can love anyone else and before anyone else can love you- Please see a therapist about this - now. Dont' wait any longer. Also write your feelings down in a journal - see what triggers you to do these things and when you feel your worst and best - make sure you are eating a balanced diet and try to get some exercise and proper rest.

This is coming out all over your life - whatever else is going on "behind the scenes" - it is coming out in school, with sex, you are trying to numb your pain with alcohol or drugs which can be another addiction just like sex has been for you, - you are trying to numb your pain - whatever that secret is or those feelings that are causing you to act out all over - you are trying to do anything to feel good - sex, getting wasted, anger, whatever it is - all of this is because something else is going on and to me it seems like more than depression. More often than not people with depression would not have the energy to do all of this but it could be your way of showing it - I definately think you are depressed but you may have some abuse or neglect in your history or even grew up in a home with alcoholics or addicts - somewhere, someone in your life did not give you what you need - did not teach you that this is not ok - that you deserve more so the way you are dealing with that emptiness is to numb that pain - to drink til you forget it or to have sex so you feel like someone cares about you - so you feel good just for those minutes - that won't last - ever. This track will end you up - with an STD, with many addictions - sexual and alcohol or drugs.

You are a very smart 15 year old to see this. You don't want to hurt your friend. Even if a guy does not like her that way - you should not be with him . The "unspoken rule" with friends is that you never go with a guy that they were with or one that they like - imagine if she did that to you .. it is just a betrayal of their trust - it is not something a friend would do. But - you are hurting so anyone who wants to show you affection or attention - you grab that person cause he makes you feel better. Wait - wait til you are happy and love u - wait til you fall in love - it will be so special. Don't continue on this road.. it is NOT too late to change. You are a strong girl with your whole future ahead of you - so take control of your life now! The strong ask for help when they need it so ask - reach out to someone in a positive manner that does not involve your body - leave your body out for a while - get into your head.. your heart..

I wish you the best and I hope you stop these behaviors - please see someone before you wake up one day and regret the past.. I don't want you to suffer from this all over one day - choose change.. now.

:o) email me if you need anything - anytime
Cheer up - if you do these things, you will feel better - you will be ok. I went through some ups and downs around this time in my life and although we acted out our feelings differently, that is not the most important thing here - what is - is what is going on on the inside and that is your new journey here - to figure that out.. Wait - til you are in love.. respect u - you deserve all of this. :o) Just try to remember yourself as an innocent child - and you are still that child inside and you need to protect her and you have not been - protect yourself - even if you act out -protect yourself.. and just know that even with protection, there are STDs that can still be transmitted so please just wait - wait til you love someone and not until it is too late.

Links for you to read about everything - take some quizzes - get some insight to what is happening inside of you - don't be afraid to face it - this is what life is all about - finding out who you are - but this you is not you - find yourself..
http://www.depression.com/
http://www.na.org/
http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/?Media=PlayFlash
http://www.sa.org/
http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/selfesteem/selfest.html
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/Publicat/bipolar.cfm
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/1202.html
http://www.helpself.com/quiz.htm

good luck sweetie - :)

Answer 2

First of all honey you know you will get a bad reputation this way not to mention a desease for sure its just a matter of time . your playing russion roolet.. and why do you think all these boys like you and want to date you. Cause they can get some easy from you. they no your easy. they have already talked about you.

Now I know your depressed but have you ever thought you want to be loved so badly that you will take what you can get for the short time with the boy. I mean your trying to fill a gap that your missing. This isn't the way to go about it sweetie. and you feel more down afterwords cause inside you know you've been used and you really dont' want to feel this way. so its a cause and effect here. But good news not all is lost your still young and you can get out of this bad nightmare.

First thing you must love yourself and appreciate yourself. and you need to think better of yourself. You don't want to be used all your life do you? and down the road you want to be happy right and find a good man. How will that happen when you open your legs to every man that comes by. when you really like one he will here of your reputation and he won't give you a second glance. So do something about it now. Yes you can date but its far to soon to be going all the way the way you are.

Have him treat you better you must demand this. If you don't show your worth anything but an easy lay you will be used up in no time flat and when all the boys are gone you will be left alone very sad and feeling even more worse than you do now.

So you made a big mistake. but you can turn over a new leaf starting tomorrow. We all have done things we regret some more than others. But your young and you have the whole life ahead of you. You just need to get on the right road. your lost and confused right now.

Sorry you were kicked out of your school. but look at it this way they probably all know what you were like there. you will start a new school and start fresh over again. you have a new outlook now you can do this. but its up to you to go after it. Its your body and your life. make the right choice your a smart girl. I'm sure you will do the right thing. your hear arn't you talking about it thats a positive step right there. If you didnt' care you wouldn't be here getting people thoughts on what you have done.

Remember you are worth more than what your showing to these boys. Show them the good side of you. start over and start fresh. If the boys leave you because of this you never wanted them in the first place cause they were only out to use you.

Try this out okay and come back and see how you feel.

You can do this GO GIRL GO!.. were routing for ya.

Answer 3

Okay sweetie first of all yea you can definetly get an STD. You are at risk anytime anything that is exposed to STD's comes into contact with anything open on you (for example your vagaina, your mouth, even an open sore) There are soo many people with STDs out there you have to be careful. Just remember, whenever you do something with someone you are not only doing it with them, but also doing it with everyone they were with, and everyone they were with. So just by being with one guy you are potentially being with hundreds of people at the same time. My advice, it sounds like your a little lonely. But you are also young too. I know I didnt make the smartest choices when I was young. Especially with something that feels as great as sex, you just have to be careful always. Everyone gets super drunk and does things they regret, thats why soo many women take things like the "morning after drug". Just be careful sweetie and make sure that there is always someone around to take you home if need be and make sure you dont leave with some scary stranger. You will go through a bunch of friends, some you have had since childhood will no longer be your friend. The point is, everyone is changing into the people they will become. Everyone goes different directions. Just be careful.

Answer 4

Yes you could have gotten an STD. Please don't have sex, that's another risk of getting an STD or you could get pregnant. It sounds like you need more advice and help than a website can give you. You need to talk to an adult. A relative, a friend, whoever. Just make sure they're responsible. I don't think you're depressed, I think you're confused. The only way you can fix it is if you find someone to go to that really cares. Maybe a relative in a different town? Just hang in there.

Answer 5

Sex is not the answer honey. You sound like you have a problem with your self esteem and though i am not a doctor it does sound like you may be suffering from depression. You need to talk to someone you can trust who can help point you in the right direction. Is there a youth centre near you because they provide some great services to people your age, if so do check it out. Good luck and remember to always treat yourself good because you deserve it!!!

Answer 6

Well sweetie, I think you need to refocus on friends (girls) and not guys. Lay off the alcohol as nothing good will happen to you while you are impaired...get help if you need it. No matter what your situation is...have faith in yourself, respect yourself and don't be stupid by having sex and getting pregnant. Be smart, be beautiful, and dream about what you want to achieve as a woman! Don't mess your life up by making some bad decisions - you can very well do that. Be smart!! Good luck! :)

Answer 7

My buddy and I had been strolling with a gigantic organization down a sidewalk a while after it stopped raining. We had no inspiration what used to be occurring and abruptly the peers in entrance folks began screaming and yelling and jogging again and a few even jumped over a small fence over a canal. We had been considering inside that moment what the hell used to be occurring after which we noticed this big truck that had simply splashed a waterfall of water over the aspect of the sidewalk. Mind you this used to be a big puddle!...yeah, desire I defined it good.

Answer 8

First of all you need to start to respect yourself. Do you even like yourself? I can only imagine what you are doing to get kicked out of school. You appear to crave attention and are getting in ALL the wrong ways.

I am sure you are well aware of the dangers of what you are doing. What these things do to your body and to your soul. You getting drunk ruins your liver. I work in the medical field and see the effect of long term alcohol on people. It does more than just the liver. Sex, oral, or otherwise can give you diseases. I am sure if you saw the diseases you can get, even on your mouth, you would be horrified.

I recommend you seek counseling for your insecurities. I would suggest something that would boost your self confidence, like black belt, or helping others with things that they are weak in and you find a strength in.

If you don't find value in yourself, it is going to be hard for others to see it. They are going to start seeing you as a loose woman. Please start Loving YOU. You should see a counselor. I will be praying for you. Here is a big hug. I know you have a lot of good in you ready to come out. Kick the devil in the pants and let the goodness into your heart. God loves you no matter what you have done. All you have to do is ask for his forgiveness and his strength to do what is right. Jesus died for all ours sins, no matter what they were and we are forgiven, all we have to do is ask for forgiveness. Ask him into your heart and your life will start getting better and better.

Answer 9

Your 15 wow im 12 im not going to judge you or anything cause i wouldn't like to be judged but yes you can get an std from doing that you should research the syntoms of any major std

Answer 10

damnnnnn....u be gettin a lot of action im guessing. u must be incredibly hot cuz i dont kno any girl that does this normally (at least i think)u ...i dont think this is depression and u can only get an STD if the guy has an STD. u should slow down with the beer though

Answer 11

wow that's really rough. I think the best things you could do are:
- get a journal and write everything you feel in it everyday
- make an appt. with your guidance councilor
- see a doctor to check and see if you have problems with depression
- with all of the things you are doing, consider birth control
- get a therapist
- include your parents when you feel you are ready to confront them
- make friends with a good influence

Good Luck and I hope you figure things out!