I have this friend who is starting to really wind me up. EVERYTHING i do, she has to do. It started when i first met her i had just had a baby and was expecting again very soon after the birth, a few months later so was she, then she got the same pram, the same clothes, the same hair colour, etc. I decided i wanted to go back to university to take up a life long ambition and study to work in the nursing area, then she decided to do the same sort of thing. I decorate my house, she does it exactly how i describe how i want to do mine. I buy a new car she wants the same car, i got a puppy so does she, EVERYTHING!!!! The last time we had a night out i was so embarrssed cos we went out with the same outfit the same shoes and same hair style. She asks what i am buying my kids for xmas & i know she will get the same for hers and its driving me crazy!!!! I cant even avoid her as she lives near me and she watches everyone who comes to see my family. If my mum comes she comes over to see my mum!
2006-10-02 11:49:35 · 13 answers · asked by 2plus3 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
its driving me mad! i just do not know what to say to her cos i dont want to offend her but its like i havent got my own identity anymore. I know it sounds silly but thats how bad its getting. She always comes over to see me every day and she stays for ages.
A few months ago we had a very tragic death in my husbands family and his relatives came over to see us and as soon as she saw them she came round. I was trying to be polite and get rid of her cos everyone was upset and crying and she just stood there talking about what to do next in her dining room??????!!!!!!!!! ANY ADVICE WOULD BE WELCOME!!!!
2006-10-02 11:55:11 · update #1
ok, thanks but i swear this is no bullshit. I've had this for 2 years now and i thought it would wear off. It's just getting worse. I started a gym and two weeks later she wants to come too. I know she means no harm but everyone who knows us have mentioned how similar our homes and lives are and i didn't mind at first but now i just want to be able to buy something i know im not going to see pop up in her house or do something which she will not want. And no she isn't after my husband, She is a very good friend and i do like her alot but i just want to her to be herself and i just wish she would dislike something of mine so i know she wouldn't want it too. I just don't know what to say to her without upsetting or offending her.
2006-10-02 12:39:28 · update #2
She sounds very insecure. Try complimenting her on the way she looks/does things when it's original. Like, go shopping with her and say "Oh, that looks great on you. I wish I could wear something like that..." etc. If you build up her confidence soon she won't want to copy you anymore.
2006-10-02 13:14:46 · answer #1 · answered by Elodie M 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
To start with, you do have your own identity, she is the one that doesn't and has to copy yours. It seems to be she is hanging off every word you say and do. Have you tried saying one thing to her and then actually going to do what you wanted to do. Drop hints that your going on holiday somewhere when really your not, or your going to go buy a new pair of jeans when really your going to buy a dress. The same could go for your nights out, say your gonna wear one thing knowing that she will wear the same, when in fact your thinking of wearing something completely different. Eventually she should get the hint that you have had enough and will go find someone else she can copy like she has copied you.
2006-10-02 18:05:19 · answer #2 · answered by Gizmo200 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
the answer that "Missy" gave is one hundred% precisely what you should do. it sounds like she is searching as a lot as you. fairly of having indignant do what the different answerer suggested and take her paying for and teach her the thanks to get her own makeup form the position she will be in a position to seem good for herself. in the destiny it is going to exercising consultation because as you grow old you'll safeguard a lifelong friendship throughout your individual years and there is not any longer some thing extra perfect than holding a friendship throughput existence that develop into began in adolescents. in a lengthy time period in existence you'll understand ways few authentic friends that you've and once you're very previous you may have a treasure in the sense that there'll be someone that you understand that knows you because adolescents and those options can help you take excitement in existence in later years because you'll at cases be in a position to the contact your pal and reminisce about the former cases.
2016-12-04 03:45:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she sounds crazy to me!!! you should be careful what you tell her, it could make her mad and who knows what she would do. try doing something that you know she would NEVER do and see if she copies it. trying doing stuff that totally grosses her out or something that would just stop her from copying everything you do. if that doesn't work then just confront her about it but be careful on how she reacts cause she sounds like the type that could go off when upset alittle
2006-10-02 11:56:39 · answer #4 · answered by sarah m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Partly be flattered she obviously admires your taste! If it is starting to bother you this much you need to try and distance yourself from her. Don't see her so much, don't tell her what you're getting the kids ('I haven't decided yet'). If she visits while you've got guests tell her now isn't a good time - you're having some family time. Maybe you need to gently set some boundaries and stick to them.
2006-10-02 11:56:06 · answer #5 · answered by unruffledemu 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you are painting all the rooms in your house black and not invite her around for a while... If she copies that just laugh at her! She'll get the hint...
2006-10-02 12:42:30 · answer #6 · answered by bovie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have a nice, heart-to-heart talk with her & tell her you're flattered that she admires you so much that it makes her want to follow your example, but it can be dangerous to follow another person... because, when you make mistakes, she'll be making mistakes... & she'll end up being miserable.
2006-10-02 12:09:53 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i know how yah feel ok just my grandma told me this...you should respect if some1 copies you or... tell her that she is annoying you and that u want to makenew friends or... transfer schools and say u died lol ok...whatever u do dont hurt her 2 hard!
~me~
2006-10-02 12:06:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should take it as a compliment and flattering.She admires you and looks up to you.Plus she obviously can't think for herself.
2006-10-02 11:54:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
your friend is jealous of you but she is showing it in a different way. she wants your life, your family, she admires you in every perspective. i cant tell you exactally who to handle her.
2006-10-02 12:35:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋