I have this friend. We are currently pretty close. I see him almost everyday. We hang out and such. He's got a girlfriend, and has had a few before, and comes from a homophobic family. I however think he is gay. He calls me to have lunch and dinner a lot and only sees his girlfriend on fridays, which is far less than he sees and wants to hang out with me, and even when he's with her, he wants me to come too. He has asked me to go shopping with him too, but when we were there, he commented on how much he liked girl pants, and wished it was ok to wear them. I'm just confused cause i like him, and i want to be in a relationship, but i dont know if he's gay or not. I'd say he was, except for the girlfriends he's had.
2006-10-02 11:47:21 · 22 answers · asked by Peter F 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
He does not sound gay to me. He might not even know you are gay. It sounds like he enjoys your friendship largely because you are another man. Be careful. Do not lose a friendship over this.
2006-10-02 12:13:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like so many other people here have said, the best and easiest way to find out is to ask him. Plain and simple. Of course there's nothing plain and simple about it. I mean being from a homophobic family he may be unwilling to answer the question truthfully. ANd if you "accuse him" of being gay, which even if you ask him in the most tactfully way possible, he still may feel it as an attack and not simple curiosity. Before I came out, I surrounded myself with gay and gay friendly people and if he knows you're gay, he may well be doing the same thing. I don't know. The fact that you like him of course makes things a great deal more personal so whatever you do, you have to watch out for yourself and for him. Just be careful and take everything into consideration before you approach him with the subject.
2006-10-02 12:22:03 · answer #2 · answered by Andrew H 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You could just ask him. Though if he is from a homophobic family he may not be willing to come out, or actually ready to do so, if indeed he is gay. But if you *are* both really good friends, then I think that it would be ok to simply ask the question.
What I would suggest though before you ask, is to think about whether you think he is gay or whether you'd simply like him to be gay because you want to go out with him. How would you feel if you asked and he said "no"? How would you feel if you asked and he said "yes" and ended up with someone else?
2006-10-02 11:56:32 · answer #3 · answered by sean_djc 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
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2016-11-25 23:22:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a friend in college who is just like your male friend. months ago i thought this guy was really into me because he always wanted to do activities with me. there were times when he asked me out to lunch or wanted me to hang out with him at the park. we hung out in the park one evening (just the two of us) and we managed to learn a lot about each other. unfortunately we never did anything. i was wondering for a month and a half if he was doing all of that just so i could be his boyfriend. i asked him if he was gay and he told me that he wasn't. we hugged each other just a few days ago in a store where i work. i just wish it would mean something, but i know that we are just good friends. my advice to you is just simply to ask and not assume everything just because you may think this is a "gay" thing that he's doing. i can tell he's a really great guy that you should never lose.
and another thing, don't hurt his girlfriend just by wanting to hook up with him. you have to respect his relationship with this girl who he is dating. if he decides to come out then you make the move, but don't jeopardize your friendship with him.
2006-10-02 16:34:56 · answer #5 · answered by javalava85 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hey! Like goes to like. He's gay. Just be careful when you open Pandora's Box. Good Luck.
2006-10-02 12:07:45 · answer #6 · answered by Jude M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are as close as you think you are, ask him outright. Just explain that you like but your not sure how he feels. It will be better once it's out in the open.
2006-10-06 05:13:35 · answer #7 · answered by kitpoodle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These to me are signs of him wanting to share what you are into and maybe even try to push you to ask him if he is gay or not. Just ask you might be surprised to his answer but im sure it will bring some clarity to your life.
2006-10-02 11:53:53 · answer #8 · answered by didi 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just ask him politely or wait. Don't go sneaking behind his back to find out if he is gay, that would be plaine rude.
2006-10-02 12:03:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You know just slowly go for it and if it turns out he isn't gay and finds out that you are then if he truely is a good friend he will accept you for who you are.
2006-10-02 13:41:24 · answer #10 · answered by kingaragorn911 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋