I'm 21 years old. in 04 i left my home in northern ca. and moved to southern california. i am the oldest out of four kids and the first one to leave home. during college i meet a girl and got engaged. My mother has never really understood why i left. she thinks i left because i hate them. last year they came down for thanksgiving. and we went up their for easter. since then me and my fiancee have gone up thier once and my family came down here once. now time for the holidays again. i asked if she was going to come down here and she got mad. she thinks that i only do what my fiancee's says. but i have to go to school and work and my Fiancee works, and were both in retail so it is hard for us to get the time off. she is also mad because we told her we were'nt going to be their for christmas but the beginning of jan. because of our sched. My mother sees my fiancee as the reason i'm not going to move back home. what should i do?
2006-10-02 11:45:04 · 9 answers · asked by pg 2 in Health ➔ Men's Health
Your Mums probably disappointed that she wont get to see you but in some ways is bullying you into going back all the time - no mother thinks that there kids leave home because they don't like them anymore -( unless she was horrid to you ) - that's not fair her saying that, your folks need to understand its not easy right now for you with your studies and finances and should stop blaming your partner for this, tell your mother even if you didn't have a partner you would still have to study and work so wouldn't be able to still come back at this time - Mothers are funny where there sons break away from the nest but she will get over it so try not to let her come between you two and just send her some nice presents through the mail.
2006-10-02 11:51:10 · answer #1 · answered by kinnoishere 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother needs to get a grip. You need to be with your fiancee... if you love her. She's the most important person right now. Never let family get in between the two of you, or there's not going to be any happiness in your marriage. Let mom go crazy, she'll get the point that you really love that woman, and to tell you the truth, you're lucky she's not that close. If she doesn't want to accept her, it's only her fault. And at this point your fiancee can do without somebody that's going to neat pick at everything she does. After all, holidays are about good feelings, not adding to the stress. If you wanna keep your woman, you gotta stick with her.
And really, your fiancee becomes the closest family for you, as soon as you marry her, and the way you should prioritize that is from the closest to the farthest... and you're safe!
2006-10-02 12:12:08 · answer #2 · answered by Pivoine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to cut the damn cord. You are a grown man. You will be faced with these decisions for the rest of your life. Do what you feel is right. Take the higher road and don't be the "child" in this situation. Always keep your love and respect for your mom but also give yourself room to grow in your life. If being down in Southern California is where you need to be then that is your decision to make and not hers.
2006-10-02 11:48:46 · answer #3 · answered by ZsMom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't really DO anything. These are your mother's feelings and I'm sure someday she'll see the light. I've heard that it's not easy for a Mom to let go of her child like this and you said you're the first. Try to understand that she probably feels as though she's "losing" you.
2006-10-02 11:48:32 · answer #4 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I mean no offence but stop being such a momma’s boy. You lead the way being the oldest. Be firm with your mother with your attentions and stick by them no matter what mom says. She does not decide your nor your Fiancée time. It is a matter of you managing your own time. Being grown up and making choices. What matters most?
2006-10-02 11:55:09 · answer #5 · answered by rangerhonor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is really tough time for you but it is the best time to tell your mother that you are a grown up son. It won't be easy to convince her but you will have to find the best way to tell her what you want. If talk doesn't work then you will have to do something harder.
2006-10-02 12:02:40 · answer #6 · answered by polie_tikus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry i do no longer understand what you're speaking approximately. in case you're speaking approximately your destiny no you may actually answer that query in all honesty. you will basically could wait and notice.
2016-10-18 09:18:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well your mother just needs to see that you are out on your own and you got a life so if she cant deal with that then she needs to it is hard for a mother to move on it is but they do good luck
2006-10-02 11:49:30 · answer #8 · answered by carolea_lamblin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont worry im in kinda the same situation u are. just do what you can when you can. family is more imposrtant but still the love of your fieance is just the same.
2006-10-02 12:10:59 · answer #9 · answered by lxahlers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋