ok i have been dating a black guy for around 6 months now....we were both very much in love with each other but my family is racist and i didnt tell him in the beginning cuz i was afraid of losing him...i did tel him now tho.....and he wants to break up w/ me bc he feels extremely disrespected cuz i didnt tell him rite from the start. Once i told him the truth....i still didnt have the courage to tell my parents....and that broke his heart.....i admit i made a mistake...but i really i really do love him and so i overcame my fears and told my parents that he was black. Their reaction was completely different from wat i expected...they were totally approving. i told this to my bf....yet....it seems as if he thinks that if i truly did love him....i would have told them about him before our whole fight....he feels that i only told them bc he wanted me to tell them......im just trying to prove to him that i luv him cuz he jst doesnt believe me, im not wonderwoman....i was weak
2006-10-02 11:26:20 · 15 answers · asked by laura N 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
how do i make him understand that? he says he still loves me but he is truly....very deeply hurt.....what can i do to make him see the light? should i just wait until time mends his broken heart? should i keep groveling at his feet to prove that i love him? or should i jst go ahead with his decision leave him alone....maybe he needs that.....kind of like a reality check.. i dont kno! please help me! any responses from ppl who have gone thru similar situations are greatly appreciated
2006-10-02 11:28:47 · update #1
I think he was just looking for a reason to end it with you.What difference does it make if you told your parents or not.He was going out with you not your parents.He should be grateful that you told you parents in the end cause that proves how much you care for him,but thats not good enough 4 him.If i were you forget about him,i know its hard, and find someone else......In the end it will be HIS loss not YOURS............good luck
2006-10-02 11:56:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what I would do.
I would invite him to come over,to dinner,this way he would see that your parents like him,that they don`t mind about his colour...this should be the beginning...he is now affraid,about this:that he will keep loving you and the feeling will grow even more,and one day you will leave him because your parents won`t accept him.This is what I think that he might feel.That isn`t a really big mistake so that you can`t go over if you really love eachother.
Talk to your parents,and see a good day when you could have dinner together,after that invite him.
but do all possible that he comes,even the impossible,only this way , you can take away his fears.
Hope it helped.Good luck
2006-10-02 11:42:23 · answer #2 · answered by donatella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop begging him to forgive you. You made an error in judgment based on your experience with your parents. Ask him to meet you parents now, perhaps over dinner, and get to know them. If he doesn't want to do that, then there is no hope for him to become part of your families lives in the future. At this point it seems that he just wants to punish you because he is threatening to break up with you, but not actually leaving. You have to decide how you want to be treated.
2006-10-02 11:32:56 · answer #3 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell u something. If he loves you, he will understand. If not he will use it as an excuse. U are not perfect and u can not help the fact that your parents are racist. Just learn from this. If he doesn't understand then don't be afraid to let go. Have your mother or father call him..if not just don't be afraid to move on and next time be open and upfront.
2006-10-02 11:31:26 · answer #4 · answered by crunchy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, what you need to do is give him a bit of space. if he truly oves you no matter what, then he'll come to terms and understand that what you did was only to protect him. no one is perfect, and because you are a bit sensitive with this whole situation it just makes you feel even worse. Love is a really complicated thing.
im sure he'll come round to it, and understand your point of view. I'm also sure that he loves you still, but is very hurt.
2006-10-02 11:38:16 · answer #5 · answered by mariah k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have u ever been at the end of racial abuse. i bet the answer is no. i have not either. has he? i bet hes seen it if not experienced it. ask. dont grovel any more. you've put you re case forward, you've said sorry and the reasons why. time for trial run with mum and dad. you think they are racist, you were shocked by their response. watch how hes treated, (if he agrees to meet them) u will know if its real. then make you re choice.
2006-10-02 12:01:49 · answer #6 · answered by mole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats tough, but it takes two to tango. If the relationship is going to work, it has to be 50/50. Both, you and him have to make the relationship work. If he doesn't want play ball then you can't force him too. You will just have to move on.
2006-10-02 11:30:53 · answer #7 · answered by icyhott4urmind 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a heart-to-heart chat with your boyfriend. Honesty is the best policy here and also have one with your parents, too. You didn't mention how old you were (assuming you still live with your parents).
2006-10-02 11:28:52 · answer #8 · answered by chrstnwrtr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one thing, this ain't love, it's infatuation, or he would be trying to work it out with you.Love is give and take, and understanding each other. So I would be rethinking
your relationship anyway!!!!
2006-10-02 11:32:35 · answer #9 · answered by Nanniekc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he truly loves you, I mean REALLY loves you, he'll get over it. If he continues to try to back out, he is simply looking for an out, and you have now "given" him one.
Sweetie, if he loves you, he WILL get over it!
Congrats and Good luck!! Theresa
2006-10-02 11:31:00 · answer #10 · answered by Theresa G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋