He is marvelous the best guy in the world, but sometimes I think that I can´t stand this situation because his has a daugther and I´m afraid that someday he wants to return with his ex wife is a very difficult situation for me, I love him so I don´t Know what to do
2006-10-02 11:03:15 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Has he showed signs that he wants to get back together with his daughter's mother? You may just be feeling insecure.
2006-10-02 11:05:13 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is really difficult, I have been in this situation before and it made me really depressed and I didn't know how to handle the situation. I think there is no "answer" but a lot depends on how he handles the situation and how he treats you. He has to make his child a priority, but he should show you with the utmost respect and make you feel very loved and secure, and prove to you that although he has a child with someone else, that you are the one he chooses to be with now and his past is just his past.
Is this a rebound relationship for him? Or is she very much in his past? If so, his past is what makes him what he is and you have to accept this. However, if things haven't been properly resolved between the two of them then she is going to be a third person in the relationship for some time.
If he is such a marvellous guy then this means that he will always be a great dad to his child which is fantastic news - you really have a chance at a future and he won't let you down. It would be a million times worse if he didn't care about his child and ex wife, as this would be a clear indication of how he will treat you.
However, if he is sidelining you for his ex wife then this is a warning sign and you will need to face facts that things may not work between you. Your intuition will tell you whether he wishes he was back with her. If not then you have nothing to worry about - he is just a good guy who wants the best for his child.
Don't stew over this until it becomes a very bad thing in your head. Keep the lines of communication open and let him reassure you, and then be reassured don't keep upsetting yourself. I got depressed and wish I had gotten some antidepressants but that was mainly his fault for being a not-very-nice person.
Good luck!!
2006-10-02 11:18:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Question does he really love u? If the answer is yes, and he's happy he won't go back so get the fear from your head, or it will ruin your relationship. It's no diffrent than if he didn't have a child, the love they have now for u is just as strong, wheather they have a child or not, part of them will always care for the ex, they have a child together, but you are the light of his life right now, so don't let negastive feelings get in the way and it does sound like u are putting alot of what if's into the relationship. Don't !!!
2006-10-02 11:08:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either you have to get used to the fact he has a child or you move on and find someone who doesnt have children already, just because he has a child from someone he used to be with does not mean to say he will get back with the childs mother - but they will always share something - they are her parents - and theres nothing you can do about this, I know it sounds harsh but you cant change the past, if you stay with him then you have to accept this little girl into your life as well otherwise it wont work with her Dad. Stop seeing the negatives and worrying - and see the positive side - you have a nice man who hasnt ran away from his responsibilities - many wouldnt have done this.
2006-10-02 11:11:21 · answer #4 · answered by kinnoishere 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your boyfriend, it they are not together and were not together when you started dating, I think it is unlikely that they are going to get back together. It seems that he has moved on. Just because you have a child together and have ties that will last a life time, many people are able to have a mature attitude about this situation and realize they have to have a adult relationship that does not involve intimacy. For the sake of the child's emotional well being. You really need to sit down and have this conversation with your boyfriend and see where his head is at. So you can stop driving yourself crazy. If he is great as you describe him, he should be able to have this conversation with you. Good luck to you.
2006-10-02 11:11:09 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, Hun, first off,almost nothing is guaranteed in this world and when it comes to relationships, unfortunately, this statement can be multiplied ten fold. you never know what anyone is going to do down the road. But, that is no reason to not take a chance.
Sometimes you have to give it a shot. If he is as good a guy as you say, then you have no problem trusting him. If there is something there that causes you to not have trust in him, then maybe your gut is telling you the situation just isn't right for you. Only you can answer that.
Best of luck you you..........
2006-10-02 11:09:56 · answer #6 · answered by tg315 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this is definatly a situation that you need to bring to your boyfriend and discuss with him.
I dont know how long you have been with this man or how serious you are. I would say if you are just begining a relationship, then to take it slow. Just take it day by day. If you feel that he still has feelings for his ex, then address that with him. You need to have open communication with him.
If you are farther along in your relationship, living together, engaged, talking of marriage, so on and so forth... then this would be the prime oppurtunity to talk to him about his ex. His daughter will always be in his life and everyone has room for a love as well as a kid or two. Just dont take it out on his child for being a big part of his life.
if he is a good guy, then that means he isnt going to take you along for a ride. He probably wants someone he can trust, talk to and actually build a relationship. he was probably hurt by his ex, and he is probably wounded. Just take it slow. Remember to talk out any concerns you have. It is really importatnt.
2006-10-02 11:09:01 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting into a relationship with someone that has a child is something you have to make sure you can handle before you get too far into it. Why do you have this insecurity about him going back with the child's mother? They are a part for a reason. You have to make sure you can handle this, and let go of the jealousy. If there is going to be jealousy over the ex or the child, it will never work.
2006-10-02 11:05:54 · answer #8 · answered by hethbabe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of your own way. I think it's probably natural on some level to have that fear but I also think that you should just let it be. If you are going to be with him and want to be with him you will have to accept the situation. He has an ex-wife and they have a child together. They will have to "be together" for the rest of their lives because of that child. If you stay with him you need to accept that the ex-wife will always have to be a part of your life on some level because of that child.
2006-10-02 11:08:18 · answer #9 · answered by Elisabeth R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was with a man for four years and he had children and I did not. It was really hard for me to deal with the fact that I would never really come first in his life....or second, or third, or fourth (he had four kids lol).....
Anything is possible but the likelihood of him going back to his ex-wife seems pretty slim. In my experience I have never heard of that happening to anyone I know. That kind of thing happens in sappy love stories.
If you love him then you should probably tell him how you're feeling and hopefully he will just tell you that you are being paranoid.
Hope that helps a little bit!
2006-10-02 11:09:09 · answer #10 · answered by Amaya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, You think he is wonderful, but also think he may return to his ex. Has he ever given you a reason to believe he is interested in returning to his ex wife?
If you are that concerned about it, its time to confront him with the issue and go from there. He may think you are some kind of a kook, or may admit to being hot for his ex.
Take it from there. The only thing you can do for now is to follow your heart.
2006-10-02 11:07:45 · answer #11 · answered by happydawg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋