We've been married 16 years have 2 kids 13 and 4....she says she doesn't feel Like I am the husband I used to be....But I try harder than ever to keep her Happy.....
2006-10-02 10:12:22 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Not the husband you used to be?!! After 16 years, who the hell is? Tell her to look at the mirror--she isn't the wife she used to be either. That's why when you get married, you agree to stay together because one or both of you is going to go to pot at some point. What is wrong with our society is we believe we can simply ditch what ain't working anymore. You have two kids who are going to suffer because you two are too childish to accept life's problems!
2006-10-02 10:23:22 · answer #1 · answered by hawley5150 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, that's not even close to enough reason to divorce her. I would try counseling, that way you could have a neutral party help the two of you find what it is that is causing the problems, lost feelings, etc. Best of luck but hang in there, 16 years and 2 kids is worth all the effort you can put forth and then some.
2006-10-02 10:20:47 · answer #2 · answered by Tower of T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is extremely traumatic and stressful, especially when kids are involved. If the love is dead and the marriage is genuinely over but for the kids, try to work out a separation and some workable arrangements for the children that everyone will be comfortable with before you go to Court. The last thing you want to do is fight out issues in Court. It's bad for your peace of mind, it's terrible for the children and it's a nightmare for your pocket.
2006-10-02 11:40:09 · answer #3 · answered by Einmann 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, none of us are the same as we used to be. Please do try some couples counselling before doing anything radical. At the very least, you'll figure out why things are changing for her (she may be in a major spiritual growth cycle and you're not) and at the same time learn to communicate exactly what's going on for you, too. At best, if the marriage can't be salvaged (and I urge salvage with kids involved) you'll know what NOT TO DO in your next relationship. Don't take any baggage with you at any point in your life. You've prob. both brought suitcases full from your childhoods and have worked out as much as you can up until this point. You need professional help and try just being kind to each other in the meantime.
2006-10-02 10:24:53 · answer #4 · answered by Moe J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the kids' sake - keep talking and communicating until you understand each other. If you can't get a clear picture and you are confused, go to marriage counselling. It's not a flip of the coin - it's for the kids' sake. If you are with a good therapist and you can't stay in the marriage, it's possible that they can help you go thru the divorce and make it easier for everyone - especially the kids. Good luck!
2006-10-02 10:16:55 · answer #5 · answered by MissHazel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is never easy! If you've been married for so long, it's worth trying to work it out. It's only natural that couples who have been together for a long time get bored or feel that things are different. Things may feel different now because you and your wife ARE different. You've both probably changed throughout the course of your marriage, so now you need to work on understanding the changes, and learning how to cope with the changes.
You should definitely consider couples therapy. Goodluck to you.
2006-10-02 10:27:49 · answer #6 · answered by *Logan's Mommy* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude....there is something more to this....shes not being honest with you....You & her need to have a heart 2 heart without the kids around to clear it up!! Marriage is a 2 way street buddy....she has got to meet you at least half-way!!! Ive been thru a divorce w/2 kids and its hard for everyone involved.....after 16 years there has to be a underlining issue or something....brace yourself...its probably another man....or it can be a woman with this day & age? Go with your "gut" ...its always right....you will see.....test it out!!!
2006-10-02 10:20:47 · answer #7 · answered by fxbeto 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if you have tried this, but plan a date with just you & her. Just talk, ask each other questions. That is the only way you can find out how to fix things. Or at least find out what went wrong. Only you know if you want a divorce or not!
PS. But divorce is very hard for kids. Hope everything works out!
2006-10-02 12:00:38 · answer #8 · answered by elizabethberkley284 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should spend some time together like little dates you know get to know each other again even if it's taken a walk around the block just talk & see what she need from you as a husband try to work it out.
2006-10-02 10:22:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage isn't always easy... in fact it isn't easy at all... I feel like you are talking about me. This is what my husband did for us this past week-end: he took the kids one by one out during the daytime and in the evening he went out with me for dinner.... he does this once a month... I'm assuming it will be a one month thing, because he did this last month, too..... but I realized only this month how much effort he puts into making sure we spend quality time this way- each of us with him... This gesture absolutely touched me. Try and see if you can do something like that.
2006-10-02 10:22:48 · answer #10 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋