I'm supposed to be married next year..but more times than not I find myself starting to resent my fiance. he is so short tempered all of the time. He will yell at me over stupid things that are other peoples fault and he belittles me.
For example-today he had me call his doctor and request records, they told me they wouldn't talk to me and they could only talk to him so he talked to them and they said they would call him back in an hour when the records were ready. after a few hours they never called him back so he told me to call-sure enough they were rude as hell to me and said they wouldnt talk to me. He got MAD and said "Jesus.C. see why i want to kill myself, you cant even take care of one simple thing. blah blah.."
I am looking for a way to confront him, a way where he will actually listen to me and here where I am coming from.
he is so damn rude and cranky and I am starting to get really unhappy. But he can never see when he is wrong.how to I confront him, will he change
2006-10-02 10:01:26 · 13 answers · asked by my alias 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
in the past when i do confront him he says "if I am such an ****** and you have such a horrible life just leave me"
that is what he says EVERYTIME
2006-10-02 10:03:00 · update #1
I want better I do.
In my mind all day I think about my perfect escape from this house.
I just want a man that 'likes' to spend time with me and go places with me..and is nice to me. I always thought tthat would be easy to find
you are right when you say once you start to resent someone you cant just get over it.
Gosh I wish I could talk to you guys in a chat or something I could go on all day long about him
2006-10-02 10:14:49 · update #2
I would say the honeymoon was over before it started. You should rethink your engagement.
2006-10-02 10:06:19 · answer #1 · answered by ©2009 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that you have to go thru that! Love is a MF right. But he might never change so you have to decide if you want to live with someone like that for the rest of your life or do u feel you deserve better? If you are a woman u put your foot down and make some rules too. If he can't respect your wishes then how can you respect his?
2006-10-02 10:05:48 · answer #2 · answered by geminigurl2404 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get rid of this jerk now, i beg you! been there, done that. have three wonderful kids but what a jerk my first ex husband was. had two kids with him and he eventually began verbally abusing them as well. it only was me initially and that did not start til after we were married and it was like a monster living in our home, day and night, 365 days a year. i sincerely hope you have enough respect for yourself to leave him now before you even think about staying with him and marrying him. he does not deserve you sweetheart. he sounds like a beast and you are probably a real nice girl and there is nothing at all wrong wtih you but if you stay with the jerk long enough, for sure one day you will be so brainwashed into believing that there ARE things wrong with you and that he is right, you could never find anyone else to love you and take care of you etc. HOGWASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i don't know your age, but it does not even matter. you should truly listen to the advice we are giving you on here and get out of this unhealthy relationship while you still can. you never know when a jerk will begin the physical abuse. once they start the verbal, most likely later they transfer their own insecurities and their abusive ways into the physical form of abuse. i pray you do not stay with this awful man who does not love himself, so of course he cannot love you. please just do what you already know is the right thing to do and pack your things (or his) and send him on his way. he may scream ugly things at you but who cares? he is the loser, not you. you will be the winner. go and find someone else out there who knows how to treat another human being.
you are worth it and don't forget it. he is just not happy with his own life and not comfortable in his own skin so he lashes out on you to make himself look and feel better. he is a moran and you are better off without him. i pray you will be strong now and take a stand for yourself and tell him to hit the road. there is an old song out there called: hit the road jack. play it real loud as he is packing his things. turn up the volume, baby! live your life with freedom in your heart and the wind blowing through your hair.
now get going girlfriend! you got some housecleaning to do! lol
2006-10-02 10:21:42 · answer #3 · answered by lrfoster7 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should take his advice.
Do you really want to spend your life chained to this pig?? Marriage isn't something you should settle for. I've been a similar relationship and felt like if i left him I would never find anyone else. But I finally got the courage and did it.
Now I'm engaged to a fantastic guy and we're getting married in a few years.
You have to think long term with this. Either get him some anger management counselling so he can sort it out... or leave him full stop.
You deserve to be appreciated. You deserve to be loved. In short, YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER.
2006-10-02 10:12:21 · answer #4 · answered by Tamarinda Alexia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married to a man that wasnt exactly what I wanted and we divorced 10 years 3 kids later.I would tell you if you are not happy now than its just gonna get worse when you date you are on your best behavior.When your married its a diffrent ball game.Dont settle and maybe go to some couples counsel before you get married.Once you start to resent someone it takes help to move on from there..You deserve better tell yourself that.He may become abusive in other ways after you get married.
2006-10-02 10:07:40 · answer #5 · answered by plumcouch30 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is clearly insensitive. If he behaves like this all the time (and it sounds like he does), I doubt that confronting him will yield any positive results.
Ask yourself...If he loves and respects you, why would he treat you like this?
I don't believe you will come up a silver bullet to answer that question. I suggest you think about this and if you agree, I would break up and be very clear about why you are doing it.
If he takes some time to think about it and can convince you he has changed his ways, you can give it another try. But at the first sign he is reverting to his old habits, I would encourage you to bail.
2006-10-02 10:10:07 · answer #6 · answered by crustysob 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why can't he call the clinic his own self?He is very abusive to you.Stop making excuses for him.You are in a very unhealthy rellationship and you deserve better.Their are more fish in the sea.Call 411 and ask for the domestic abuse hotline Ph number.
2006-10-02 10:29:17 · answer #7 · answered by pearberry4000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yeah...he sounds like the perfect husband to be..... If you think it will get better after you're maied, you're badly mistaken. It will get much worse because he will feel ownership... yes, he is the type of man that gives us decent guys a bad name...
Go on a diet and dump the extra weight....HIM!
2006-10-02 10:08:17 · answer #8 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave this ****** ASAP he will only get worse..I've known people like him before ans they get worse as time goes on...get out now and don't look back.
2006-10-02 10:08:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't think you'll enjoy your marriage. Don't get married. If he's getting mad over simple things, aren't you going to get hurt over nasty problems over your marriage?
2006-10-02 10:15:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋