My hubby and I have made it pass the seven year itch. YEAH!!! But sometimes I look over at him and wonder who he is. We're close in those few moments that really count- but sometimes I feel so disconnected. What can I do to help us rebond? Not looking so much on the intimate side as the everyday communication side. We are starting to live seperate lives... We have no kids, so the common ground is the house and the dog.
2006-10-02 09:51:21 · 25 answers · asked by Lady in Pink 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why do you think it's referred to as "the seven year itch"?
You think you are the only one?
It is quite normal to "drift away" from each other for a while, but if you have true feelings towards each other you will come back together in a slightly different but stronger way.
Just be patient.
Oh, by the way - I do have some experience on the subject.
My wife and I, and most of our friends, have been married well over 40 years.
2006-10-02 09:57:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
A lot of people think the 7 year itch is all about sex. About 7 years after someone makes any major decision they start to wonder what life would be like if they hadn't made that decision. The magic 7 works for marriage, having kids, buying a house, taking a new job, and anything else major. It sounds like you just need to find some common ground. Take a vacation away from family and friends and rediscover what attracted you in the first place.
2006-10-02 16:58:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Might sound silly but have him make a list and you as well of 3 things you would like each other to change(EX: kissing you when he comes in the door, asking how your day was, going somewhere completely new at least once a week)and work on finding new interesting things to talk about. I am 29 and have 3 kids with my husband of 11 years and I must say things can get boring and sometimes there is nothing to talk about and we also feel disconnected but other times we are completely in love and cant stop talking, so I know how you feel for sure! Try new things, suprise him to maybe spark his feelings about you again and maybe he will do the same for you! About starting a family, I dont know if ya'll have talked about having children or not but having kids does not make a relationship any better, it can sometimes make it harder. Think about it.
2006-10-02 17:00:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write out things that you would like to know about your hubby. Things you don't know, but would like to know. Have him answer them and you do the same. Go to queendom.com, they have some really fun quizzes you both can do, its fun to find out things you never even thought to ask your other half. From there, you can find out more about each other and take things from there. Join a club or group that would interest you both. There must be other common grounds besides the house and a dog. Ppl don't get married for those reasons. So remember what brought the two of you together and take it from there.
2006-10-02 16:56:19 · answer #4 · answered by spunkyshell2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I went through this. Our solution was to go out on "dates" just like we did before we were married.
We each got to pick what we did on alternating weekends - and it turned our to be a blast. Sometimes, yes, it just meant that we went to a hotel somewhere and spent some quality time together away from all of the home issues. Or we went for long drives like we used to do when money was tight. Mostly, we did things that we used to do to have fun... and found out that it still was; and we still liked, to do those things together.
We've been married over 30 years now... and we still try to "date" at least once a month.
2006-10-02 17:00:27 · answer #5 · answered by Tim B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you sat down with your husband and talked about this? Bring him a beer or a gIass of wine and say, "We need to talk." I think you want court and spark, fire, and a higher level of connection. What turned you on to him 7 years ago? Do you love him and are you still in love with him? When was the last time you told each other that you loved each other? If you have started to live separate lives, you don't have much time to turn it around. I wish you the best.
2006-10-02 17:06:08 · answer #6 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to make a concious effort to reconnect and get some common ground. maybe trying something new out that you can both enjoy like a walk after dinner for exercise and time together. Maybe try to show an interest in a hobby that he has. You need to get out of the "rut" because it could kill your marriage with resentment and a feeling of being unfulfilled.
talk to him about it and see what he thinks. good luck
2006-10-02 16:54:31 · answer #7 · answered by island3girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Devote a night each week as a night you will spend together. Avoid going over to friends houses to watch football/tv shows. Do things together. I think you should strengthen the initimate side too. Encourage being close to each other and not apart.
2006-10-02 16:55:36 · answer #8 · answered by Paka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe there are some fun things you can do together. Take a class. Work on a home improvement project. Sometimes it seems hardest to communicate with those you love the most.
2006-10-02 16:54:23 · answer #9 · answered by johntadams3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe its time for you two to start a family but make sure that both of you want a family first don't rush into things then you'll just push him away. just let him know that there seems to be space between you guys and that its making you feel not wanted when he comes home from work talk to him about anything and everything its good to let him know how you are feeling and what emotions you have towards him
2006-10-02 16:57:56 · answer #10 · answered by mija~chula 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋