My fiance and I have a joint account because of joint finances. My fiance's ex-wife asked for more money for child support (without a lawyer or paperwork) and my fiance agreed to it without discussing it with me. I understand why he agreed but should I be upset about him not discussing it with me?
2006-10-02 09:38:54 · 20 answers · asked by Lila B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
you should be concerned if your fiance'takes money out of your joint account without discussing it with you.even if he knows you wouldn't object,just out of respect for you and your relationship with each other.he should discuss it with you.maybe he could set up a separate account so he can address his child support situation without touching your joint finances. finances is a big problem in a lot of relationships.the two of you need to discuss how the joint account is to be handled so there will be no assumptions or awkward feelings.if the two of you are truly committed to one another,try to work it out.good luck !!!
2006-10-02 10:00:05 · answer #1 · answered by stoneripple 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be. It is a JOINT account. Remember the word JOINT which means the account is his and YOURS. This means that whatever happens with that account should be acknowledged between the two of you. He should have respected you enough to discuss things with you first. Talk to him about it and tell him that if he can not respect you enough to discuss things with you regarding the account, you will get your own account and will not be putting any money into the joint account. You will help him when you need to, but at least you will be aware of what's going on with your account. He might try to make you feel guilty because he would keep saying it is for his child. Tell him you understand that and you have no problem helping him when it comes to his child, but you deserve to know what is going on with what is partly your money too.
2006-10-02 09:51:00 · answer #2 · answered by killerlegs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you something my dear. You are not wrong when it comes to your financial input in any situation where joint funds are being used. A quick phone call or discussion would have solved the problem, since you had no objection in the first place. You need to have a calm, detailed conversation with your finance. Do not fail to address the issue. Financial issues destroy a lot of relationships resolve that both of you will always communicate. A little tip to you: have something stashed of your own for your own emergencies.
Bean 55
2006-10-02 09:47:12 · answer #3 · answered by Bean55 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He obviously treats the joint account as a personaal account. You can open an account where two need to jointly agree before you can transact. Your present account needs to be topped up only from this account. You now ensure you are informed. It is an inconvenience. You can also operate seperate accounts. More importantly, finance is fundamental in relationships. If you cannot work this out now, you have to seriously consider the long term viability of the relationship.
2006-10-02 09:47:29 · answer #4 · answered by Tom Cat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes because you are both together...
you share a joint account.
and taking maybe more money then your finances allow is hurting you ..
there was no communication about this.
he took it upon him self to give with out asking you..
and there was no paperwork or lawyer to verify the payment. there must be a receipt or written statement between the both of them signed and dated With exact amount and what the payment is for. just so there are no recurrences that the Money was never given or paid,, if paid by check or money order then all is good.
2006-10-02 09:45:39 · answer #5 · answered by StarShine G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a similar situation. First thing I sit down with him and tell him how you feel about him not telling you about the child support. It is not a good idea for them not to have a written agreement. Does not mean it does he has to go to a lawyer just have a least something. We battled but my husband said i had a good point. Hope that helps you out.
2006-10-02 09:48:09 · answer #6 · answered by Lori K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say, at the very least, his not discussing it with you deserves 'a talk'. The 'fiance' commitment level implies that you have a vested interest in each others financial positions. It's a bad sign and could be a red flag of things to come.
2006-10-02 09:43:55 · answer #7 · answered by TechnoRat60 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It the child support is a major amount of money and if paying it will interfere with your finances, he should have discussed it with you.
However, what he did shows that he feels responsibility for his children -- which is a good characteristic -- and probably prevented legal fees and other hassles in the future.
2006-10-02 09:43:04 · answer #8 · answered by johntadams3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow you adult men are not even married yet and he's already putting you by all this? Are you constructive this guy is even nicely worth it? you do not sound chuffed having to stay your life thinking if he's speaking to somebody else. of course i might handle this situation, even nonetheless it could have been after the 1st time some thing surpassed off. in spite of each and everything, i might by no potential cheat on somebody i for my area enjoyed, so if he enjoyed me he shouldn't the two. right this is the way it would circulate..."Honey, I see which you cheated on me emotionally. right this is your stuff in this container, do not enable the door hit you on the way out". possible use this line, basically placed the line "x volume of situations" in there someplace. solid success in even though you pick for.
2016-10-15 10:57:36 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should be upset. If you've already pooled your money, then something like that should be discussed with you. Train him well right from the start!
2006-10-02 09:42:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋