Why is it so hard to be faithful?

Question

I have the most amazing boyfriend who I love very much and have been engaged to for almost a year and a half. W ehave been together for almost five years. We have two kids so things arent the same as when we first met. We have had our moments and fights like all couples do, nothing out of the ordinary but we always work things out and everything is fine.
But then there is this side of me that has the hardest time dealing with being tempted. Once or twice I have met someone else who sparked my interest who I have been very attracted to. I havent cheated but sometimes I think i could if I knew I wouldnt get caught. There is someone right now who I have been talking to and hanging out with. I dont want to ever leave my boyfriend but I love the way I feel when I'm with someone new.. I love being persued.. I get so bored of having sex with the same person year after year even if the sex is great.. it still not as exciting as it would be if its with someone else... what is wrong with me?

We have had sex every possible way you can imagine.. we've done role playing, bondage, tantra.. etc

I do love him.. very much..

Answer 1

There's nothing wrong with you. What you are feeling is perfectly normal.

The question is what you do about it.

Answer 2

Here's a song that about sums in up right:

Clay Walker "Then What"

I got a good friend who's got a good life
He's got two pretty children and a real nice wife
Yet he never seems quite satisfied
I said I know what's on your mind
But you better think about it before you cross that line
The grass an't always greener on the other side
Chorus
Then what
What you gonna do
When the new wears off and the old shines through
It ain't really love and it's ain't really lust
And you ain't anybody anyone's gonna trust
Then what
Where you gonna turn
When you can't turn back for the bridges you've burned
And fate can't wait to kick you in the butt
Then what, oh then what
I ain't sayin' that lookin's a crime
I've done my share from time to time
It don't mean that you got to take that leap
When you're standin' on the brink
Before you jump you gotta step back and think
There's a price for every promise you don't keep
Repeat Chorus
Bridge
But do what you want do what you wish
It's your life but remember this
There's bound to be some consequences
For sneakin' under, crossin' certain fences
Repeat Chorus

Answer 3

There is absolutely nothing "wrong" with you. It is hard for you (and most humans) to be faithful, because we are biological creatures. We humans have been hardwired by millions of years of evolution to be attracted to members of the opposite sex in order to promote and secure the survival of the species. We call this biological attraction being "in-love" or being "infatuated" or "animal attraction". Compared to the millions of years of evolutionary hardwiring that exists in your brain (and that is felt in the other parts of your body), the socially accepted idea of "fidelity" or the idea of "being true to your partner" is a VERY recent occurrance only a few thousand years old. So your "ideas" about what is right and wrong are in conflict with the biological motivators inside you, which you have zero control over. What you do have control over is how you decide to respond to these very strong and very natural urges. You can follow your hardwiring or you can follow what you think is socially correct and what might actually "serve you" better as you have the responsibility of raising your children to consider. You have the choice, but regardless of what you decide, you shouldn't beat yourself up for feeling attraction to someone else or even feeling strong sexual urges toward this other person. Those feelings are perfectly biologically natural. If you didn't feel those kinds of things then there might be something, as you put it, "wrong" with you.

I know many people who think, like you do, that even having these feelings makes them a "bad" person and then they think, "well, since I'm already a bad person I might as well act on these bad urges and sleep around." Don't fall into that trap. The feelings you are having are perfectly natural. Hopefully realzing that will allow you to make the decision that really severs you best.

Answer 4

There's nothing wrong with you. The game of chase is very exciting. I don't even care about sex per se, but it's always been exciting to feel wanted and pursued; it's undeniably thrilling. Sounds like you may not have had enough of it, is all. I just got married myself, and I sometimes contemplate the fact that I have "resigned" to living with just this one person - but it doesn't feel like a problem, since I've had plenty of "thrilling" experiences while I was single, and now other things are becoming more important - family, security, etc.

Answer 5

It is normal. It is exciting when someone else show an interest in you. However, there is danger in following through with the excitement. Think about how you would feel if you cheated on your boyfriend or significant other. The hurt caused upon a loved one can be very painful and regretful.

Answer 6

I totaly understand bored honey , and it is not easy when all the spark is gone. All couples go through this. I know the feelings of temptation all too well. Maybe he is going through the same feelings you are having ? Just one more thought to play with is an open marriage? It can work and it does work if two are willing to make it work. Think on this , I am only another suggestion.

Answer 7

I think we all feel that way sometimes. I'm facing someting similar... but my wife is perfect so it's a little different. I don't get bored, but curious.

I always try to introduce my wife to the problem person, which helps. Then I spend some time extolling the virtues of my wife to this person, which reminds both of us that I'm where I am for a reason. I never allow any complaints about my wife to that person.

Answer 8

Whats wrong with you? Gee, you are the typical woman. Ungrateful, easily fooled even by your own thoughts and feelings, etc. My dear, remember. The grass may be greener, but it is always greener over the septic tank.

If boredom is the worst that you have to deal with, then you really do need a reality check. Tell you what, let some other women see how well you are treated and maybe they will be happy to just take your man. Then you wont have to worry about it, you can have all the guys you want, cause yours will be with a woman who actually appreciates your man.

Answer 9

Guess what? After a few times, the sex with the new guy would get just as boring as it is for you now. So why take the risk of destroying your children's home?
Work on getting some spice into your life with your fiancee. . . . .and either get married, or leave clean.

Answer 10

You are a player..You like playing the game the newness and when that wares out you get bored...you need to find new ways to have sex with your man..Do some role play...have him be someone else...try a litle whips and stuff...spice it up...way up.

Answer 11

i'm married now yet while i became into youthful and in college, I cheated on absolutely everyone. did not inevitably recommend I had intercourse with yet somebody else yet there became into certainly what maximum might evaluate dishonest. i think of it somewhat is noticeably uncomplicated, in spite of what those impolite people responding ought to believe. and that i additionally think of it somewhat is through fact which you're bored. it is why I did it. I on no account felt undesirable approximately it the two through fact I continuously knew they have been relationships that does not final; not through fact i became into dishonest yet through fact of alternative matters in the relationship. quicker or later, with any luck, you will discover somebody who isn't uninteresting and who retains you on your feet, in a sturdy way. until then however, you will in all probability have this concern. you're purely bored, occurs to absolutely everyone, even in marriage. GL!