How to get rid of a gold-digger?

Question

Ok - here's the scoop. I'll try not to make it too long...

I have known my husband's best friend for about 1 hour less than I have known my husband. He is a terrific guy - very intelligent, funny and handsome. He is a really great catch (especially because he stands to inherit millions of dollars someday).

He has been with his current gf for just over a year. In that year's time she has stopped working al together, gained 40+ lbs, stays locked up in her room all day and waits for him to return. She is a leech! About 2 months after they got together she got fired and just hasn't tried to find a job since. She knows how much he is going to get someday - and is really spending all her time now trying to get pregnant. I have talked to him about this - and he doesn't believe it. She has even TOLD me - "Once I get pregnant he can never leave me. I'll be set for life!"

I only want the best for him - he is like a brother to me! What can I do??

Did I mention she's psycho? She is on 3 different kinds of mind altering drugs, and then drinks all day long.

She also has wailing fits whenever he is gone for more than an hour...It just doesn't end.

Sorry to ruin your little "Psycology Ring" but I'm not jealous of her - and I don't want him for myself. I just want the best for him. He is like a brother to me.

And I don't just "do whatever my husband tells me to". I have a brain of my own thank you very much!

Answer 1

I'm kind of in the same boat. I married this gal who promised me the world, but to this day - I do all the cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, etc.

She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but when our first son was born she calmed down alot. Makes me wonder if it was hormones(?!?)

I have been working on her for 11 years. She is 8 years my junior. She has made drastic improvments, but still has a long way to go. She never had a problem with alcohol like you friend's did. (thank goodness).

I think we will survive, but If I wasn't a patient person, I probably would have killed her about a decade ago.

hang in there!

Answer 2

Honestly a friendship can be ruined faster than you can blink an eye when you try to butt in on a relationship issue. Even if you record the person saying negative or 'wishful thinking' thoughts on tape or video. The person will believe whatever it is they want to believe about thier spouse or loved one. Your best bet is to stay back and hope something goes wrong out of your control. If you want to risk hurting your friendship then talk to this guy or have your husband talk to your friend about that girl. Good luck.

Answer 3

I'm going through this with my best friend. Since you've already talked to him and hes not listening the olny thing you can do is see if your husband will talk to him or secretly tape her telling you this stuff and then have him listen to it. I would tell him about it first though. If he doesn't want you to do that and he doesn't listen to you or your husband then its out of your hands. Hes going to have to learn the hard way if she succeeds in her plan. I've tried to talk to my bestfriend and shes not listening to me either. Its really frustrating. I hope that he makes the right decision before its too late. Good luck

Answer 4

Record the conversations regarding him. She's a stank b*tch and she doesn't deserve him. However he's about as naive as they come. If he can't see the forest for the trees then he's lost as well. Maybe you should just let it go and concentrate on you own life. You already told him. He's not listening. Therefore girlfriend you've done all you could do to make him see the light. But his eyes are wide shut! Let it go!

Answer 5

I totally feel your pain as I have a friend myself who is enabling a man who is not interested in working anymore at age forty-ish and is in great health -- still married to another woman with a child and is not going to marry my friend.

I will come back to see if anyone posted any good answer to your question, however I have tried myself to talk sense into my friend and there is nothing more frustrating than a blind person who does not want to see.

Answer 6

Let him make his own mistakes. You'll be better friends later, after he has made his own bad decisions and paid for them. But right now you can lose that friendship by meddling too much. Just stick by your husband, he'll need both of you when he finally sees the light.

Answer 7

You can't do anything except be a good, neutral, supportive friend and, chances are high that if you continue to dis his girl, he will not want to be around you. She is the one he's choosing at this point in his life. It's not your business to come between them or "try to talk sense into him." He has to learn his own lessons.

Answer 8

Well since u have already told him and he didnt listen get ur husband to talk to him 4 u maybe he will listen to a guy friend

Answer 9

love is blind ..............for sure. he should tell her that it all fell thru and if she knows that see how soon her bags be packed but you can not tell him because love sort of does something to ones brain and common sense goes. i have a friend whos husband took her for everything and now lives in her house she own free and clear and she lives where all the poor women go. so look out esp with a kid [she is trying to have] she is one smart cookie

Answer 10

All you can do is to tell him that the g/f has ADMITTED to you that all she wants is the cash - and let him make his own decisions.

He's a big boy.

If he married her and has a kid anyways, all you can do is console him after she takes half of his wealth; telling him that you told him so is optional.