Often times about 5 minutes after we have sex my husband will get on top of me and pee all over me. I usually just smile and pretend I enjoy it but I really don't. I asked him one time why he does that and he said he is just marking his territory. My husband is 30 years old and I am 19, and I know the man is supposed to be in charge but I just wish he could show his authority over me another way. I don't want to sound like a bad wife complaining to him about this so I need to find a nice way to ask this of him. I just don't want to get to get him upset and I don't want him to punish me. Please help!
2006-10-02 08:52:49 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are in a domestic violence situation, just because it's not physical don't mean that your not being abused.. It's disrespectful to put urine on anyone... I can see if it was something that your OK with but your not... You need to be up front with him about how you feel. If your scared what his reaction is going to be then you might be in the wrong relationship....
You are not a toilet.. You need to tell Rover to put his P where it belongs....
I feel for you girl... And I wish you much luck... Real love don't have to mark it's territory.. Cause it's already there...
Good luck....
2006-10-02 09:03:42 · answer #1 · answered by The'Truth 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I just had to respond to this. This is most certainly an unhealthy relationship. Putting the whole pee thing aside if you are scared to tell your husband anything for the fear of being "punished" you need to leave. And if there is a physical "punishment" you need to call the police. You may feel insecure about your age difference but when he said "I Do" he made himself your equal- HE IS NOT IN CHARGE!!! Now back to the pee issue, politely tell him that you really don’t enjoy when he does that and tell him that you don’t want him to ever do that again.( I do not suggest getting physical or belligerent as others did because you are already obviously scared for your safety.) PS There is no way he should "show his authority over you" because he has none. You are not his property-slavery was abolished long ago. I’m praying for you mama, keep me posted on how it goes!
2006-10-04 18:58:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all just because you are 19 and he is 30 should not make a difference. married couples are considered equal when the marriage vows are read. my husband is 6 years older than me and he used to think he should have more authority than me but then i just sat him down and had a calm conversation with him and now he has realized that we are equal. as far as the peeing thing is that his fetish or something that is grouse like many of the other people have said. if you dont like this you should tell him because i know i wouldnt want to smell like pee all the time. he is not a dog at least i hope not so why would he be marking his territory.. you are not property that someone owns you are a human being and you have ffeeling too. just sit him down in a casual setting and have a talk with him most of the time it works. good luck!!!!
2006-10-02 09:09:33 · answer #3 · answered by mla_forver 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um... Where do i start?!? First of all he is NOT your boss. Second, the peeing thing is EXTREMELY disrespectful! there is no nice way to tell him to stop. You just need to say F*U*C*K RIGHT OFF!!!! I cant believe in this day & age you would feel intimidated enough by a man to not want to tell him to use the toilet! Just tell him plain & simple that you dont like it & wont accept it anymore. if he getz upset well to f*cking bad. Stand up & be a women for christ sake!!! & what do you mean you dont want him to punish you??? what kind of a relationship are you in that your husband will punish you??? Is he your husband or your father??? Your husband shouldn't be punishing you!!! This is proof that you got married wayyyy to young & are still imature. If your old enough to get married then your old enough to act like a women & DEMAND that he stop this INHUMANE act IMMEADIATLY!!! He has already "MARKED HIS TERRITORY" by marrying you, he dosent need to bloody p*iss all over you! Oh & the man isn't supposed to be incharge because you are SUPPOSED to be in an EQUAL relationship!
2006-10-02 18:21:30 · answer #4 · answered by oh sugar! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
19 and 30 is a huge difference! And he's marking his territory??? Is he a dog? Why don't you pee on him and tell him the same thing.... ewwww
Tell him to stop. If your that shy or intimidated by him to be able to talk to him being his wife then you both need help
2006-10-02 08:56:30 · answer #5 · answered by Some Girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok first off is this something he is turned on by or is he just a jerk? Seriously maybe he thinks he can treat you this way because you're so young and probably not very secure with yourself. If you were you wouldnt allow this happen. You need to tell him you dont like it period and there is definately something wrong with the fact that he punishes you unless you are in a BDSM type of relationship and you enjoy being punished.
2006-10-02 09:10:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pee on him! What the hell is he peeing on you then saying he is marking his territory. To me that is a put down on your part. Almost like he is saying "i am man, you are woman, you are my woman" kick his *** the next time he does that crap. YOU need to TELL him to STOP! Why a nice way to tell him? He doesn't hit you does he? I hope he isn't "keeping you down".
I have heard of "golden showers", but that is usually done in the shower, not in the bed.....
Speak up for yourself and don't let him walk all over you.
2006-10-02 09:28:16 · answer #7 · answered by little fairy lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Again I really hope you are getting a good laugh at my expense. I just answered your "are you a bad wife question" and you are either really naive or really bored. Men are supposed to be in charge? I must have missed that lesson in how to be a good wife 101. Please don't come to my house, you would die and then roll in your grave. I'm wondering what your husband will do when he finds out you are asking these questions on yahoo answers.
2006-10-02 09:50:02 · answer #8 · answered by OrianasMom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG! You are only 19? That explains so many things right there!
I'm sure that he is just seeing how far he can push you until you do something back. Do something!
Leave! Not to your parents house, though. Take the baby. Tell him that you will come back if he shapes up OR instead of the divorce go for a separation!
2006-10-05 15:30:06 · answer #9 · answered by Colleen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry I don't mean to offend... but you're a WOMAN, and you're his WIFE.... not territory! Sheesh!
Three things you mentioned make me concerned for you:
1) I usually just smile and pretend I enjoy it
2) I know the man is supposed to be in charge
3) I don't want him to punish me
It sounds as if you're in the midst of a relationship built on fear and humiliation. I hope that's not the way it is, but by all means be as kind as you can about it and just tell him it's not something that turns you on.
What I really want to tell you is to run like hell. Away from him.
2006-10-02 09:09:02 · answer #10 · answered by MissJ 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋