can a marriage survive when both prtns have depression?

Question

t htre is too much too put all the info down here neither person cheated but at the moment we are both suffering depression have been living apart for nearly a year and 2 day she told me its over and wants divorce dont want to loose her but have enough probs sorting my day 2 day stuff and dont have strength 2 sort problems out any advice welcomed

Answer 1

As sad as it may be, you have to take care of yourself first before you can take care of her and then each other. Until you get your depression under control with medication and diet and exercise, you can't even begin to rationalise and work on your relationship. Both of you need to agree to something like 6 months of each of you taking your meds, changing your lifestyle (Bummer that it is exercise DOES help!) and counselling if either of you need it. THEN get together and see how each of you have grown stronger and then you can start working on your relationship. Maybe she's already gotten herself to that point and she's tired of waiting on you. I don't know but....either way. YOU deserve to be happy and you can be. Its not easy, and there isn't anything magical to do it for you, but you deserve it and you can achieve it. Keep your chin up and be positive. Take it second by second. One other thing that you can do...is when you are having a more positive moment, write down things that you think are good points about you. Even if its something from way back. But these in a jar or box or even written in a notebook. When you are down...read them. They'll be a great inspiration to help lift you up.

Hope some of this helps.

Answer 2

having one person who suffers from depression is hard work, having two is near impossible. You are not doing yourselves any favors here by staying together, have you used the year apart constructively to try to deal with your depressions. have you worked together or separately. maybe she feels she cant deal with your depression as well as yours and you the same. you by your own admission say that you have a hard time dealing on a day to day basis, you both need different things that neither one is capable of giving the other right now, I am not saying divorce is the answer here but if she wants one then there is not a lot you can do about that i am sorry to say. perhaps just concentrate on getting the help you need and in getting that help will help you also deal with this problem to. Good Luck.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

Honestly, it is going to be really hard for a number of reasons. Both of you are in a emotinal state right now. But if your willing to make it work, ya both need to work on it. If there is still love in the relationship it may work. Consider going to a marriage counsoler or going to a doctor and taking antidepressants. If there is still love in the relationship both of you will work harder to make it work. If she already asked you for a divorce talk it out with her, she may be doing this for attention, and wants you to reach out. Consider alot of things a divorce may not be the right thing right now it may lead into a deeper depression.

Answer 5

well...try it seems that u both no the reason of your depressions,don't u?try to calm down first and do this wich hav nothing common wiv your problems and r absolutely relaxing 4 u ...maybe few days-weeks without each other will help.Try both of u think y u where 2gether for such a long time,think about all that nice wot u hav done 4e.o. and tidy up your feelings.After u ll do all this,talk to her,but no wiv anger..say sorry..give a hug and let your feelings do all job 4 u...good luck!

Answer 6

u havent found out what makes a marriage work. all your problems mean nothing if u have your wife by your side. the communication was broken between u 2 and never reconnected. if she really means that much 2 u then prove it by first telling her then showing her. u must b willing 2 risk it all 4 her or u dont stand a chance. thats if youre willing 2 risk it all.

Answer 7

yes a marriage can survive but you have to try to make time for it maybe its time to make some changes in your life sit down and really think of what you can do to improve yourself take action, let her know how you feel and what you can do to change its going to be hard but if you want to keep her you have to try, start slow maybe a walk in the park fresh air always helps me.
good luck..

Answer 8

I beleive in destiny but I still think you have to fight to save your marriage. Especially if you have children.
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Answer 9

Yes, that is what famillies are for, or didn't they tell you that when you marry, you marry in relation to the whole of your better half's familly too. Maybe you took the opt out scheme, less responsibility, less wories. What comes around goes around.

Answer 10

the two and a few human beings in gay relationships are lots extra classic than ppl I even have witnessed in hetero marriages...I stay out of ppl's bedrooms...prefer them to stay out of mine.