I am 18 years old husband he is 21 and we got married after 2 months of knowing dating each other in vegas as a joke. And due to a lot of drinking that same day have a baby on the way. We have been married for month 1/2 still have not told our parents and we had our first big fight recently. I have to keep fighting the urge not to throw a fit and cry?Also sometimes my husband speaks to me as if i were a child?I am worried what kind of a parent i will be i still feel like a child?My husband wants to stay together and see what happens but i am scared?? I really dont want to be pregnant or married!I feel very confused and emotional.
2006-10-02 07:54:42 · 15 answers · asked by Keri O 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
This is my freshmen year of college i cant believe this is happening to me i always got good grades in school and was always good for most part this is not fair!
2006-10-02 07:56:40 · update #1
Okay, listen and listen carefully. I dont know your feelingsn on abortion, but if you were my daughter I'd take you to the clinic myself. (assuming your like only weeks pregnant)!!! You have to at least tell you MOM, she'll know what to do, I'm sure of it. The marriage can be annulled and you can move on. Don't even attempt to take this on yourself, your pounding on the preasure and its NOT fair to you. Yes, you made a mistake or three, ::) your also human. Your gonna HAVE to tell sooner or later. There is no time like the present. Feel free e-me if you like!
Good Luck sweetie.
2006-10-02 08:02:41 · answer #1 · answered by peacfulwar 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe this isn't happening TO you but rather FOR you. You are now dealing with the consequences of your irresponsible behavior. Ny guess is that you have not had to deal with the consequences much, as you are only 18 years old. You have not been aive long enough to make too many serious mistakes yet.
You are still a child, however, you have one on the way as well. I wonder if you will be able to put your child's needs ahead of your own, as you should. And your husband.....will he be able to do that as well?
You two seem to have a parent-child relationship yourselves. I question your committment to each other. Do each of you take your vows seriously? You say your marriage was a "joke", and that indicates that you don't take it too seriously. You have not been married long, and if you wish to have it annulled, you are still within the time frame.
Are you ready to become a parent? There are many options you have, if you are not ready. I am sure you know that. Will putting your life/your college career on hold cause you to resent your child? Have you even though about it?
You are hiding this all from your parents because you are ashamed because you know you are in the wrong. They are your parents, and hopefully they will be there for you and not judge you. If you admit to your mistakes when you ask them for their help or advice, you will be teling you how much you love them, value their wisdom, and need them. They will probably be disappointed in you, but also have a new respect for you for coming to them for help and advice.
Also, if you are pregnant, you ahould NOT be drinking. You do not have the right to make that choice for your unborn child. Whether you keep it or not, you do not have the right to risk stacking the deck against that child. Drinking causes abnormalities in development and health issues. Ever heard of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome? Look on a search engine......
2006-10-02 15:14:29 · answer #2 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well have you & your husband sit down with your parents & his parents. Then tell them you are expecting a child. Get the book called "What to Expect When Expecting". It will answer a lot of questions you may have about pregnancy. You keep writing the sames questions. Which means that none of the answers anyone says can justify or soothe your insecurities. No one has to tell you that poor choices got you in the situation you are in. You got married as a joke?! Then why doesn't it seem funny? You're not even out of college yet, of course you still feel immature. But school isn't what makes you mature or immature. It's life that is your teacher. What you learn & how you deal with life makes you the person you are. But rest assured that everyone has those inhibitions about being pregnant (even when they want a baby). No one on the face of this earth starts out being "mother earth". That is something you learn as you spend more time with your baby. If after you have your baby and still feel that you aren't ready for this PLEASE do not take it out on the baby! It's not the baby's fault that they were born. Talk to your husband about the way he speaks to you. But you wrote it yourself. If you still feel like a child & your husband talks to you like one maybe you need to evaluate yourself. You really need to re-evaluate yourself. You are taking on the responsibility of being a wife & soon-to-be mother. Whether you like it or not change in inevitable. You have to learn to deal with the choices you make. Nobody on these sites can do that for you.
2006-10-02 15:13:01 · answer #3 · answered by twinkle toes 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all, you have every right to be scared. tell your MAMA she will know what to do !! and if you don't want to be married then you can probably still get it annulled. You have some tough decisions to make about the baby
1) you get an abortion
2)you give it up for adoption
3)you keep it
I don't know what your stand is on abortion. I am personally pro life but I would never judge someone for an abortion because I have never walked in your shoes and I don't know what it is like but one thing is for sure if you do not want to be married you need to get an annulment asap before you have to get a divorce which is much more costly and time consuming. back to the pregnancy issue, I was 19 when I had my baby, I kept her. I considered abortion, but couldn't go through with it . when I first saw her I thought "how could I have even thought about killing her??" I strongly recommend adoption in your situation, but follow your heart and you will make the right decision. I hope this helps!!
2006-10-02 15:25:03 · answer #4 · answered by krystal s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you say "I have always been good, this is not fair"...
Well, obviously... you HAVEN'T always been good, because you got into trouble.
Just tell your parents. You are pregnant, so you have to deal with the consequences. You have to tell your parents, because there isn't an "easy button" to make all of this go away.
Part of being grown up and having relationships is dealing with whatever comes as a result.
If you don't want to be married anymore... DON"T BE MARRIED!
You can still get financial support from him and get what you need to take care of your baby. I am sure he feels very confused also, with the marriage and baby package all wrapped up into one.
2006-10-02 15:06:55 · answer #5 · answered by Elkie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mom, dad, I made a HUGE mistake...
a married someone I hardly knew, and our marriage is doomed. And I am pregnant, and scared. Can we talk about this, because I don't know what to do.
For God sake's girl, DON'T STAY MARRIED TO THIS GUY just because you are pregnant.
You are a COMPLETE IDIOT for marrying someone you hardly knew. This marriage is doomed, but it doens't mean your life is. You can keep the baby, you can give it up for adoption. But this marriage will never be happy because you two are too young and obviously NOT in love and not emotionally mature enough to handle marriage. Mom and dad can help talk to you about the baby and how you want to handle that, but drop this loser.
If you make a decision you can't tell your parents about, that;'s a HUGE SIGN that it was a BAD DECISION.
Think twice the next time you decide to get married, and always use CONDOMS until you are ready to be a parent.
2006-10-02 15:05:02 · answer #6 · answered by KB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I´m sorry to say but from reading your question i dont think you´re ready for a baby at the moment.... now im not saying you should terminate the pregnancy... i personally dont agree with abortion.... but thats totally your choice...
but what you DO have to do is grow up, and quickly!
Okay you ran off... you got married and now you´re pregnant... first of all ... do you love your husband?... if yes then you can probably make the marriage work.... if no then you need to get out of the relationship because you have enough on your plate without an unhappy marriage adding to your stress.
secondly you need to find someone to talk to who will help you work this out .... if your parents are understanding people then tell them.... if they are not then wait til you know what you´re going to do.... just remember you´re not the first person to fall pregnant unexpectadly and you certainly wont be the last.... you have choices....
good luck
2006-10-02 15:04:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just might need to worry about this unborn baby first. Your parents can wait, unless you and the new Husband live w/your parents.
It's very unfair to this unborn baby to take your time...deciding what you should do. Make up your mind ASAP. Do you have a career yet? Do you have money in the bank? Fair to Good credit? Have a home of your own? Own a car? Have you and this new Husband been tested for HIV/AIDS yet? Etc.
Wow, what a situation to be in at such a tender age, I pray God gives you the answer you need.
2006-10-02 15:00:10 · answer #8 · answered by NURSING FOR LIFE!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jeez you could write a book. Well hon, I'm sorry, you should tell them soon. Now, even yesterday. Get yourself into counseling, lean on your friends and family for support, but you need to do this, too. Be strong for your baby, because he/she is going to love you no matter what. And you can get your marriage thrown out, talk to a judge, do some research. Also...and this will piss a lot of people off, but if it's still early enough, look into your options with having a child, ok? Best of luck to you.
2006-10-02 15:05:49 · answer #9 · answered by hvjhv 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd say worry about your baby first. You and your husband were selfish and childish so now you pay the price. The child didn't do anything, nor did she ask to be concieved. Live with it. All I can say is tell your parents as soon as possible so they can help you. They'll probably be upset, but it's best to go ahead and get that over with so you all can begin to heal. Good luck, you're going to need it.
2006-10-02 15:07:01 · answer #10 · answered by Jennifer 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋