My husband & I were married for 3 months & I found out he had cheated on me.I was at home & he didn't come home from being out.I took his excuse.I didn't think he would cheat.I was so upset about him being so irresponsable that it didnt cross my mind.But I checked his phone & found out why he didnt come home.Then lied to me, didnt tell me everything. I didnt find out until two weeks later that he slept with her & had been talkin to her before we got married.I packed my bags and was going to leave him.My good friend talked me out of it so I didnt leave.My husband is away know with his job.I found out five months ago that he had been having sibersex with some girl.He said he did it because I would not.I have sent him pics & stuff like that and I dont know y he would still do it.Now he wants me to turst him I cant.How do you start to trust someone who has disrespected our union?I say I will but I'm always checking his e-mail and it kills me that I cant see I his the one he has for work.
2006-10-02 07:41:29 · 21 answers · asked by Smooch 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Leave him you were not even married 1 year and he starts to screw around??????? wtf well happen in 5 when you have children
2006-10-02 07:43:46 · answer #1 · answered by R C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guessing from what you wrote, you two probably don't have any children together. That's a good thing, you wouldn't want your children to be hurt or stuck in the middle of what's going on. Now, if he cheated once, he will definitly cheat again. You don't need that. If you decide to stay with him, you will be hurting yourself. Stressed out worrying about him, whether or not he's out with another chick when he tells you that he's out with the boys or at work. As a wife you have every right to check his cell phone, emails, pockets, wallets and everything else. If he's having cybersex with females, and have the nerve to tell you that he is only doing it because you won't is the most dumbest thing I have ever heard. You don't need him. He is still out there trying to be a "player" instead of being a husband. Maybe it hasn't hit him yet that he can't do those things anymore. He still wants to be single. Like I said you don't need this. Move on, hit him over the head with the threat of a divorce and see what he say's and if he don't take you seriously. Divorce him, take a year out to recover and basically get over him and move on. Don't jump into another relationship until you are definitly over him, because you might end up making the next man pay for what your husband did and it won't be fair to your new man. You would end up losing him to your past relationship. Sit down and think over what you want to do with your life, remember you come first. If your not happy with it do something that would make it better. Good Luck To You.
2006-10-02 07:58:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dr. Phil had a great show recently, with the questions you need to answer to know if you can trust a cheater. I don't remember all of them, but some were: Is he sorry he did it or sorry he got caught? Is he willing to do whatever it takes to rebuild the relationship ie. counselling? Is he being completely transparent now about where he's going who he's talking to? Does he get defensive or irritable when you bring it up or does he reassure you that it will never happen again?
Personally, I think you should leave! But more importantly, do what you think is best or don't listen to friends and family members or else you'll always question the choice you made
2006-10-02 07:52:21 · answer #3 · answered by who-wants-to-know 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on the individual. Your husband doesn't sound very trustworthy. Take it from me. I too was the "cheater." Will this ever ever happen again? NEVER! I made the biggest mistake of my life and I have learned from this very huge mistake and have eliminated all temptations from my life. What has your husband done for you to prove himself? If nothing, then this will happen again. You are going down a very hard road and I hope you are a believer because that to me was the only way I and my spouse made it out of this mess. Good luck.
2006-10-02 07:54:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely no, you cannot trust a cheater and/or liar. They will not change. Through God, anything and everything is possible but that person has to want to change and my experiences with those jerks is they will not.
Move on with your life. Don't make a small mistake turn out to be a giant one. Get out before any children are born, too.
2006-10-02 07:49:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
3 months? Cheating before the marriage? Cyber sex? Checking his email and cell phone? Honey that is way too much work for a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship let a lone a marriage.
There is no way I would be with someone I couldn't trust, what's the point? If he's not in your corner, exactly why do you need him?
2006-10-02 07:46:36 · answer #6 · answered by Brandy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By you not standing your ground and staying with him, in an indirect way you're condoning what he's done, so yes, he will continue to do it because in his mind, it's ok, you'll take him back anyway. What an ***, telling you he does such and such because YOU won't. Hate to say it, but it'll only get worse. Trust is earned, not by words, but by actions, and he's giving you nothing to go on. Look what it's done to you so far. Get out of this while you still have a shred of dignity left, otherwise you are headed to a very, very bad place.
2006-10-02 07:55:14 · answer #7 · answered by infernal_seamonkey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I would probably beat the sh** out of him and then leave him. He doesnt love you if he is doing those things. No he is not worth it. YES he will do it again, especially if you caught him more than once already. The big question is why would you want to live your life with a guy like this? Life is to short to be miserable..dump his a**. You will find someone else who will honor you and not cheat.
2006-10-02 07:48:24 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he cheated on you after being married only three months then you shouldn't need to ask any questions. Once a cheater always a cheater. You can not trust a man like that.
2006-10-02 07:45:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie he isn't going to change, he has already crossed the line and once that is done its very rare for a person to remain faithful to one person. Chalk this up as a lesson and take the necessary steps to ending your marriage, if you truly love him and he loves you ask him to agree to going to couples therapy. At therapy he may be able to to come to terms with his wrong doings and get on the straight and narrow but for most men and women, once a player, always a player.
Take care!
2006-10-02 07:51:42 · answer #10 · answered by T-Bird 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While I was 7 month pregnant with my 2nd child from the same man the I was living with for more than a year I found out he was cheating on me. He was always telling my that he was going out with his Friends.
After I left him I found out, from his whole family that he was with this lady for about a year that meant that when our 1st son was one he started dating her, I left him and my life is so much better with out him.
I'm in a happy relationship with my current boyfriend of over a year and soon I'll be have a baby with him.
Before I got with my current boyfriend my ex was still trying to get back with me while he was living with her and she was pregnant with his child and now he is married to her.
I don't know what to tell you, but just go with what your heart says. But from my past I would have to say once they cheat they will continue to cheat as long as they think there not going to get busted
2006-10-02 08:02:19 · answer #11 · answered by Tuty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋