Friend attempted suicide... help, please...?

Question

A close friend of mine has attempted suicide recently... she's fine, for now.

For about a year now, she's had an odd illness, sores all over her face. It's undiagnosed, possibly skin cancer, and we still don't know what it is. The sores have healed, though they've left scars, both physical and emotional. They've been coming back, in the same places not. I know the're not self-inflicted, but what it is... A couple days ago I recieved a letter... it's too personal to quote on here, but the last line was 'Goodbye, because this may be the last time you hear from me.' I called her, and everything seemed fine until now. She called and told me she had attempted to take her own life, I think she was trying to stab herself. She is still alive, but I don't want her to try it again, but I'm not sure how to tell her this without getting her more upset. She doesn't want her parents to know, and therapy is out of the question. I'm confused and worried and I don't want her to die. She's only 12...

...I told my dad right now... They didn't answer the phone and I have no idea what's going on...

And I know she wasn't the one who started the sores... I'm positive.

Someone asked my age so I guess I'll put it up... I just turned thirteen last July...

Answer 1

I want to say first this is a big problem for such a young lady to have to deal with. I admire your courage and such strong desire to help a friend in such a bad in her life. I'm sure as responsible as you sound that you depend on your parents for help when you need to. And that's a very wise thing to do. This may be a problem you can't deal with on your own and not because you're not a strong enough person but I think for even an adult, they would need guidance as well.
Your friend is the same way. If her parents are there for her when she needs them any other time, then they should be involved now as well. At such a young age herself this is a lot to bear. I don't think you would be betraying her trust if you confided in her parents. That way she could have so much more support there for her when she needs it the most. I can't begin to imagine the pain she is going through but as a mother, I know I would want to be there and do all I could to help them through such an ordeal. I hope all turns out well for the both of you. Stay strong and look deep in your heart and do what you feel is best.

Answer 2

Many teenagers 'attempt' suicide. In the most general terms they do it because they have a problem that they don't know how to deal with.

Fortunately, most of these attempts fail because the person doesn't really want to die, they just want help with the problem that is beyond their skills to handle.

Nevertheless, attempted suicide IS a serious issue and is very dangerous because some children actually succeed.

Unless her parents are bad people (and some parents are) I think you should tell them. If not, you should find an adult figure that you trust (either at school or church, etc) and tell that person (but that person may be obligated by law to tell her parents).

My view on therapy is that there is two kinds: good and bad. Bad therapy tells the person that she is 'broken' and needs to fix herself. This just makes people feel more lousey. Good therapy empowers people. It teaches them skills that they didn't have before so that they can handle the world in a more talented way.

This is difficult. I'm sorry this happened to your friend.

(on a side note... I'm somewhat confused. Your friend is 12, but your question is too well crafted for you to be 12 also. How old are you?)

Answer 3

You need to tell her parent's if not then you need to report her. She will receive help and will feel better about her self in the long run. If someone is down and out its hard for them to see the possibilites of living. The best way to show her these possibilities is by letting a professional do it. If she is age of 12 her parent's will need to there. She is a minor and will have to have legal consent.
If you seriously let this go and something does happen to her how will you cope with yourself? How will you be able to look in a mirror each day after the funeral?
What is the worst outcome? Her get mad at you? She will still be alive... If she doesn't live you still wont be able to talk to her.

Answer 4

Why is therapy out of the question? It seems that is exactly what she needs. Also, her parents should know. She needs real help, and you won't find enough here. This is a greater burden than you can handle alone. You need to at the very least tell a school counselor or teacher even if you don't tell them who it is.

Answer 5

if u love your friend then tell her parents. she will hate u for it now but it may well save her life. shes only 12 and she needs u to be a friend. she is asking for help by telling u about it before hand so just go to the parents and tell all. tell her you are sorry but u care more about her living long enough to get past all the crap shes going through now and one day later in her life she will be able to deal with all this. her parents will get her through this. good luck.

Answer 6

You need to tell her parents. She may be mad at you for a little while or forever. But if she does kill herself, she'll be gone forever, and that would be much worse. Please, call her parents. Therapy is not out of the question. I know you feel like you can't betray her and go to her parents, but you HAVE to. This is serious. Please help her. Don't let this continue, she is in trouble and needs help.

Answer 7

First of all your friend is crying out for help. She needs help ASAP. You have to tell her parent no matter if she gets mad at you. Think about it, how would you feel if next time your friend manages to succeed in her attempt for suicide. You would feel awful thinking that you could of done more. Please talk to her parents, councelor, teacher, anyone who will listen. YOu are a good friend.

Answer 8

In this case, you have to tell her parents. Her life may depend on it.
She needs to get counseling. This would be hard for an adult to handle, much less a 12 y/o girl.

Answer 9

if you are her friend, take my advice. call and talk with her parents. you may feel that you're going behind her back and going against her wishes... and she might get mad for a while.. but if she kills herself, you'll lose your friend for ever. her parents will lose their child. if you know about something like this, and dont' report it, it is criminal and you can be taken to trial for it. trust me, do the right thing, and tell her family. you could be saving her life.

Answer 10

As much as she doesn't want her parents to know, you need to tell them. Asking for help is the only option.

It's not fair that she put this burden on you. This is too much for anyone to take.

Please have her seek help! That's the most any friend could do.