2006-10-02 07:30:55 · 27 answers · asked by Satriani 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sweetie, it is very simple...
What this all means is that you need to forget about romantic relationships completely-- for at least several years (cause right now you're only going to suck at them really badly!) and then concentrate on loving YOURSELF, loving your parents, and on getting the best education you can get! It is clear that you are not ready for this type of complicated entanglement.
This may seem to you like a bad thing, but it is not. If you step away from the hormones, learn to love YOU, find out who you are and what you stand for, and focus on good family relationships then you will be happier in the long run. I promise!
To put it simply:
You are at a crossroad...
You can either search for that wonderful "soul mate", find them, love them, fight with them, divorce them with 2.5 kids (destroying the kids' world in the process) and spend years looking back with regret..
OR you can learn about you, repair your broken relationships with your family, educate yourself, and then LATER-- find a decent partner to share life's ups and downs with, and make a solid home for any possible future children. Even this is not full proof, but at least you would be stronger and better educated. And besides, the first option is pure suicide for you and your possible progeny.
2006-10-02 07:37:33 · answer #1 · answered by DidoDeeDee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like there's some problems there. Not a good way to start. Don't be in so much of a hurry to get married - be sure you've found your Mr Right first. If you're marrying because you need someone to be with (or support you, or whatever), it's not the real thing. Learn from this experience and move on.
2006-10-02 07:35:25 · answer #2 · answered by warped_factor_ten 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there's problems now, there's sure to be problems in the future... If the warning signs are available for you, then take heave.. Or you can go into the marriage like you got your eye's closed and only end up with the feeling you had when your wedding was postponed(or worse)...
Good Luck
2006-10-02 08:57:18 · answer #3 · answered by The'Truth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You postponed the wedding because of your fiance's drinking? He was unable to participate in the wedding because of his drinking? If that's the case, was this the ONLY time he's been unable to "participate" fully in life-activities due to drinking? If so, a serious discussion is necessary because he obviously had a lapse of judgment. If on the one day you REALLY NEEDED him to show up, he decided to "tie one on", this would make me doubt his judgment going forward.
If this is NOT THE FIRST TIME for his drinking to interfere with life, then it's time for you to seriously reconsider your commitment to him. It sounds like he's not ready - physically, emotionally or neuro-chemically - to participate in your marriage.
I know it's tough: you've spent money, invited people, made plans, hire a room / band / caterer / photographer, etc.. Here's the deal: NONE of those people have to live with him everyday. YOU DO. Sure, you're inconvenienced one day out of your life. If you marry an alcoholic, you could be signing up for MUCH BIGGER problems EVERYDAY.
I wish you Peace.
2006-10-02 07:39:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would still marry him. If it's not like him to drink alot. People have different ways of coping with stress. And getting married isn't exactly stress free ya know. :) People always freak out during the big day (usually us women) but i wouldn't let a few drinks be the end to a good relationship. I mean you did say yes when he popped the question so it's obvious that he loves you and wants to be with you "till death do you part". He just got a little scared - nothing to be worried about. And he's still with you isn't he?
2006-10-02 07:38:53 · answer #5 · answered by Your Angel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before, I got married my husband dranked all the time too. But before we got married I made sure that he got the help he needed, so that our marriage won't fail because of his drinking. Now he doesn't drink as much as he did before. A beer or two after work and that's it, never more.....or he will hear it from me....lol I don't think he would want that. So honey, get him some help first and make sure he sticks to it so that in the future your marriage won't crumble. Good luck!
2006-10-02 07:36:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You already know the answer. You know it would not be wise to marry him at this time. He needs to go enter and finish a rehab program. Then he needs some somber time before you two marry. The man you know now may not be the man he will be after he is sober for a while. You may not like who he becomes after he is sober.
Mosta~
2006-10-02 07:43:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wedding is supposed to be one of the most important days of your life! Obviously, it wasn't to him. He has a BIG problem. I'd advise not to marry him. Your life will be hell if you do marry him, unless he cleans up his act. And I would want proof of that--like at least a year of staying sober.
Sorry you are in a relationship with someone so immature. Find someone who really cares.
2006-10-02 07:41:31 · answer #8 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You question isn't clear: did he drink prior to the wedding day and you got scared? Did he drink the day of your wedding and you got scared? In case one, if it's a pattern, you should be scared or at least wary of this guy. In case two, he may have gotten scared himself and resorted to alcohol for bottle courage. If I were you (and I happen to be the clinical director at a substance abuse clinic in new york city), I would be very careful and observant of him for a while. Don't tell him not to drink because he may stop just to please you for a while--just see how much and how often he drinks and if it bothers you, reconsider the marriage.
2006-10-02 07:36:57 · answer #9 · answered by heyrobo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only after he's gone through a treatment program and has been sober for at least 1 year. Then you can consider dating him and getting to know the sober man, rather than the drunk man.
2006-10-02 07:33:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋