how do you forgive a cheating wife?

Question

cant get by the fact she loved him

Answer 1

well, did she love him, or just **** him?

If its the latter, it can be forgiven if she's truly remorseful and wants to stay with you. If the former, there isn't anything left to save

Answer 2

Love and forgiveness are precious, beautiful things that we should ALWAYS extend to those we love! You are very right in choosing to forgive her.
But I know from experience that this is not easy. What helps is to remember that it could just as easily have been you that felt such disillusionment or depression that you were a prime target to fall for the charms of someone else.
The absolute worst thing you could do is "get back at her"! Two wrongs have never made a right.
You should seek counseling together to make sure the rift is repaired. This will help ensure that this not happen again-- to either of you!
You should both educate yourselves: Look up "Affair proof your marriage". Go to workshops that discusses marriage enrichment. Study "The Five Needs of a Woman and The Five Needs of a Man."
Most importantly read this to her and agree to be patient and tender with each other. Give yourself time. Don't expect healing to happen overnight, but it can happen with tenderness and patience.
Always remember that the broken bone can heal and be stronger than the one that has never been damaged.

Answer 3

The problem is did she love him or lust for him and they are very different things....It is hard to forgive anyone who cheats but first why did she cheat? Did she feel like something was missing from your love life or relationship? If so then try and fix that but the bottom line is if she wants to stay with you then it will take time for you to trust her again and she may have to live with the fact that you need to check up on her because the trust isn't there...you can forgive her but the trust may never be fully restored. I have had this same issue and it took along time to develop the trust back..but if you can't and feel you need to call it quits then do it without beating yourself up over what you did. She wronged you even if you didn't provide everything she wanted it still didn't give her the right to cheat. We all have rough times in relationships.

Answer 4

Men cheat, women cheat and it comes down to the same reason. They are not getting what they need out of the marriage, but do not tell their spouse. Cheating comes from lack of communication in the marriage. It will be hard for you, but if your love is strong for her, that will help. I don't think she loved him, I think she lusted after him. The best thing you can do at this point is to get couseling together. A third person helps to get the both of you to open up to ALL feelings from cheating. I will tell you, if you don't forgive her, your marriage is over. Without that forgiveness theres not a chance for it to survive. Don't pretend to forgive either, that just makes matters worse in the end. Best of luck to you....

Answer 5

Take it from experience you will never forget only forgive explain to her there may be times in the future where you need reassurance of nothing going on and may ask questions or make remarks on past situations, tell her in return for completely honest answers regardless of the outcome you will not be a jealous freakazoid and question everything she does. I believe everybody deserves a second chance if the shoe was on her feet wouldn't you want a chance to make up for your wrong doings. I believe if she sincerely wants to work it out it can be done and if it happens again then that is a different story but atleast you can say you did everything you could to keep your mariage alive and strong. "ARE YOU A QUITER"

Answer 6

It is going to be very hard but it can be done. I was the cheater and I was madly in love with this person. This is a statistical fact. Single digit percentage of affairs that will last. Mine was based on lies/deceits. I fell in love with the ideal this person said he was. He was not. Give it another try if she is willing to end the affair and try with you. My affair was not found out but I ended it because I woke up and realised what I was doing was wrong. She first has to decide if she is willing to put 100% back into fixing your marriage. You have every right not to trust her but you will have to forgive her for this to work. Good luck and God bless

Answer 7

An affair changes your life, your marriage and even very soul. I know I'm far less romantic and a whole lot more cynical. Maybe when I put myself back together some of the pieces didn't fit like they used to. I have scares now over funny things like giving flowers. I used to get them for my wife all the time and now I don't. I know I've changed, but I can't seem to change back.

My marriage is together out of choice. She chose to be with who I am now and I chose to be with who she is now. And every morning I have that choice and so does she.

I've never forgotten, but I also try not to think about it (too much).

Answer 8

You forgive with your heart, and sign divorce papers with your hand.
You WONT get over it.
She does not, did not, and will not Love you the way a wife should.
No matter how much you love her or wish to forgive her the odds are she WILL do it again.

Answer 9

Why would you want to forgive a cheating wife?

Surely you deserve better than that...

Answer 10

try a marriage counselor. if u still want her find out why she did it in the first place. if its because she was in love with the other guy then u may have to let her go. some really intense hurting going on here but it can be done, u just have to have help getting there. always best to get a professional for something with the stakes this high.

Answer 11

to me cheating cannot be fixed. I know you love her, but she doesnt truly love you if she is cheating. I know that is not what you want to hear but its facts. If she loved you she could not possibly love another person. Even if you have children, its not worth living that life with her. Get custody. You will find someone out there who will honor their vows and love you and only you. I know its hard but time will heal.