Why do parents seem to favor one child over others?

Question

My parents are still supporting my sister who is in her late thirties and she never pays her bills because they know they will bail them out. My parents spend all their time with her and her children and never even visit me.

Answer 1

It isn't something you learn, it just happens. Parents feel that one "child" needs more support than another. Parents won't admit that they favor one but they do. I know this because I am a parent and I seen myself do it a while ago. I feel that my older child can handle herself better than my younger child, but in reality, they are and should have been treated equal. That and if the "favored" child is the youngest, they really don't want to let go, because letting go means that their "job" is finished. Even if they have grandchildren.

Answer 2

I don't know you or your family, so I have no way of knowing why specifically why your parents seems to favor your sister. If I had to take a stab in the dark, I'd day it is because parents like to feel needed, and they may get that more from her than you.

Generally, I think parents seems to favor one child over others because they do. Parents are people too. And like all people, they prefer to be around people who have certain types of personalities and interests. However, most parents are sensitive enough to all of their children's' feeling to not proclaim their preferences. But it is evident in their behaviors.

Answer 3

And some parents are narcissistic and favor the child who makes them look exceptional. That was the case in my family. My brother was perfect in every way and the parents couldn't get enough of him. They thought I would never do anything with my life. Well, my brother dropped out of college and is now a bum. I graduated with 3 degrees and teach at a university. Mom and Dad were real surprised.

Answer 4

Favoritism. I don't agree with the idea but I think it's rather normal in many, if not most, families. The ones who are mostly affected among siblings are the ones who notice the practice... like yourself, my friend. In your case though, there must be a reason why your parents still support your sister. I assume you're rather well off compared to your sister; or perhaps she needs more help than you do. If, however, the practice has been since you were still little, then there must be another explanation to it.

Let me share you my own experiences: I was the favorite of my parents compared to my elder sister and my younger brother. I didn't know it until that one time when my sister just suddenly exploded (well, she was drunk then) and confronted our parents as to why she feels like I'm their only favorite... like my parents don't love her the way they love me. Naturally, my parents rejected the "assumption". They did not tell her the real reason. I only knew then the reason when I traveled abroad -- like they began to miss me. My mother wrote and explained, "... because, my son, you're the only one we could depend on everything around this house -- like taking out the garbage, going to the market -- you don't complain as much as your other siblings do"... and many more but those were just simple things that rather pleased them. I kept it to myself... but I never competed against my sister or brother just to become my parents' favorite. I rather do (until now) the best I can to make my other siblings feel that we were all treated equally by our parents. I dig up the most significant things my parents did for them, especially, when we were still little.. well, just in case the matter comes up again I'd have something to show to prove them wrong.

Now, I have my children of my own. I treat my children fairly, but deep inside me and for some reasons, I seem to like my daughter (10) more than my son (5). But I'm doing my best for not any one of them, including my wife, to notice it. I don't want to create competition and jealousy within my family.

Well, nuff said and you probably get the picture now.

Don't feel bad, my friend. There should always be a reason.

^__^

Answer 5

I'm not trying to justify it, or by any means say that it is right, but it is natural to favor one child more than the other(s). And the child that each parent favors will usually frequently change over the years, as the children grow and change. Just like you don't like everyone you meet, you don't always like your children equally. Certain personality types just don't mesh well, no matter how much you love them.

Answer 6

I do think of that some mothers and fathers prefer one baby over the different with an emphasis on some. top occasion: my considerable different's mom has 4 sons. the two oldest ones (my husband risk-free) have been taught to fend for themselves, and by no potential to be counted on absolutely everyone. even nonetheless, the extra youthful 2 have been (and nonetheless are) defended no count if or not they are good or incorrect, and that they are completely supported financially by potential of my considerable different's mom (lease, motor vehicle notes, motor vehicle insurance, application charges, baby help, and so on are all paid by potential of her). yet, my husband nor the oldest brother may even borrow any gas money from her. they'd desire to hotel to pay day advances or 2nd jobs. a minimum of they don't be counted on her like the two youthful ones do. Now, that's what I call favortism.

Answer 7

Some believe that just as animals compete for resources such as food, land, etc. children compete for the resources of their parents. In particular, children are competing for the limited attention of their parents. Children learn that certain behaviors elicit attention from their parents and keep behaving that way to continue to receive that attention. This explains why one child can do so well academically and another struggle to even keep from getting in trouble. In your situation, it seems your sister receives your parents limited attention by being less responsible and requiring more attention whereas perhaps in your younger years you received attention for the opposite.

Answer 8

Take it as a compliment. They seem to spend all their time with her because she does not seem to have herself straight. Maybe they are trying to give a good life to her children since she can't. Parents spend the most time with the "bad" child and sometimes leaving the "good" one out.

Answer 9

I have the same problem wich in reality lets us know we are the responsible one. I will let you in on this as I have had the same exact problem. When it comes down to will. You will be made the decision maker/ executer. They do know that they are bailing her out and if you play your cards right her little lazy @ss will get nothing on the last day. Just something to think about. Oh and get ready for the river of problems they have.

Answer 10

I have asked myself that question many times. My mom totally favors my younger sister. I cannot understand it because I have four kids of my own and love and treat them all equally. Some people are just ill.