I didnt think it was an appropriate time for sex so he threw a fit and told me he was leaving to go find it elsewhere. he didnt leave of course. He says our marriage is boring because we dont have sex as often as he wants. Keep in mind that I am in school fulltime, working full time and then some and raising a two year old without his help, so, any words of advice? I think he has a sexual addiction problem.
2006-10-02 07:04:25 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to find time for him. If your son is trying to sleep in the next room, then don't make as much noise. Your husband just wants to get some love. Unless he wants it 4 times a day I think he is normal.
2006-10-02 07:10:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think it sounds like you are raising two children...He needs to grow up. You are spreading yourself very thin as it is and he is too self-centered to see that you could use some help and support from him.
Maybe if he was more helpful around the house and with raising your child you might be able to find more time to be intimate. This doesn't really sound like the kind of man you can be intimate with. He sounds like the kind of guy who has sex...not makes love...
My advice to you is to tell him that if he doesn't shape up and be more responsible that you will leave HIM and take your child elsewhere and find yourself a man who will be more sensitive of your feelings and needs and not of just his own. He sounds like a selfish bastard. Your two year old does not need to walk in on mommy and daddy having sex so he needs to get over himself...There is an appropriate time for everything and if he was a mature adult he would realize that...
If he is so desperate to "get off" tell him to grab a magazine and find the bathroom...Mary Palm and her five sisters are always available...
Good luck...
2006-10-02 07:16:59 · answer #2 · answered by Cute But Evil 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gee I have never heard of a married couple where the man wants sex more than the woman. I have been married for almost 11 years and we struggle off and on with the same problem, here is what I have found that helps me
1. Stop being so selfish
2. Pay attention to her needs more, help with the kids, help with housework, give her a back rub that is only a backrub etc...
3. Tell her how much I love her often and tell her how attractive she is.
2006-10-02 07:21:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You both need counseling.
Why doesn't he pitch in to help raise your child? Doesn't he feed, bath, change diapers or play with the baby?
Define sexual addiction - sex everyday or every month.
He is clearly frustrated and you are clearly burned out. How about a date night once in awhile? Can someone watch your child?
Having a child changes a lot of things and going to school and working full time even without a child is hard. Can you work or go to school part time? You both need to sit down and hash things out and work out a schedule (and yes schedule sex and date night).
You both have to be united not divided in the marriage.
2006-10-02 07:18:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well now isn't he just the man of your dreams! How dare he demand such a thing from you. Tell him go jump. the more he treats you like this the longer he will go with out.
Men are a bit slow when it comes to understanding these kinds of things.
Say it like this: Look at me like a Ferrari. If I was a Ferrari you would have me wrapped in cotton wool & you'd check me for oil, water etc. You'd treasure me like there was nothing else in this world.
Now say to him: If you do not treat the ferrari properly and give it a service keep it clean etc then it will not run when he turns on the engine.
You are the same if you don't feel loved & wanted, Appreciated & respected then you won't work when he wants you too either. He wouldn't kick the ferrari if it didn't work he'd take it to a garage or fix it himself. You are the same - No love = No sex
Simple really!
2006-10-02 07:14:05 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He does need a little bit of help. I was kind of feeling the same thing he was in my relationship. I took the initative to ask people here and other places and found that it was my attitude towards sex was limiting my sex life. As soon as I focused more on the relationship and less on the sex my life my relationship increased significantly so did my wife sex drive. The problem is that he doesn't see what is wrong. I suggest getting a book. I read Passionate Marriage it had some good points. Hang in there and hopefully a light will click on in his dense head.
2006-10-02 07:11:52 · answer #6 · answered by Paka 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why you are raising a child without his help if he is your husband.
He needs to realize that when you have kids you can't just drop everything when he wants sex or anything else. If he made the comment about getting sex elsewhere to tell him to go ahead and he will not have a home when he gets back.
It seems as if he is very disrespectful. If you want things to work out with him then talk to him and tell him that you need his help around the house and with the kid so that you can have time to be with him.
Good Luck!
2006-10-02 07:14:07 · answer #7 · answered by miss_lady6980 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you know there is always 3 sides to s story in your case his way , your way and then the truth, The best thing I would say to do to spice things up for you and him is to set ground work for keeping the sponteneaity, make sure that the baby is in the bed by 9 pm and after 9 is mommy and daddy time, try going out on date at least once a month so you guys can continue to know each other the way you use to.... and to have dates with each other doesn't necessarily mean going out send the baby to a sitter or to the grandparents for the nite so that you two can enjoy each others company at home; rent some movies, have a candle light dinner, role play etc. just make an evening of the activities. remember that regardless to what comes about you two are married and a husband and a wife must cling to each other as a child clings to a breast you are no long two seperate entities you are now one, and you have to compromise and work with each other.
2006-10-02 08:08:32 · answer #8 · answered by saved_n_praying 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you have an overcommitment problem. Did you really expect his marriage vows to become vows of celibacy?
Now, raising a two year old without his help? Does he do nothing? Maybe you have some negotiating power there. It isn't right that he doesn't help with his own kid. Unless it's not his, in which case it's still a point to negotiate. You have to take care of your child, and if your child isn't cared for, that comes first. Pluss you need time for your homework, so someone has to watch the child... get him to do that in exchange for ensuring conjugal rights. But if you do it, be sure to hold up your end of the bargin... nothing gets more frustrating quicker than being promised something that's rightfully yours anyway on a set of terms, then having it revoked.
2006-10-02 07:27:29 · answer #9 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go to counseling together. You two need to improve your communication skills bigtime!!!
Just because he wants it does not mean he is addicted.
He was immature by saying he would find it elsewhere. Wake up!!!! That statement alone probably means he already has found it elsewhere.
Tell him you are having a problem meeting his needs but you want to increase your desire. Be more spontaneous. Lock the door so your 2 year old can't get in.
2006-10-02 07:28:01 · answer #10 · answered by lofolulu 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My Dad use to do the same thing to my Mom & sometimes he still does... it pisses me off when a man thinks that just because he wants sex we should do like in ancient times & just lay back & take it.... anyone can ask my husband I like it just as much as he does but if the only reason he wants you is for sex , why do you need him?... if your working full time & raising your child alone ditch his horney butt & find a real man that loves you , not only what he gets in the bed... & if he loved you he wouldnt expect you to take that remark about getting it elsewhere ... let my husband tell me that crap one time & he is out the freakin door..... your decision honey but you deserve more than that is is 2006 not 1906..... we are here for more than sex.......good luck
2006-10-02 07:22:49 · answer #11 · answered by AC 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋