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we both are divorced and I would like to get married but i have one hesitation. Her first marriage with a guy ended in 2 months and she was fooled by the guy and their marriage was annulled. She confessed that she acted out of innocence in marrying the guy. After a while, she dated a guy and she didn't tell him that her first marriage was annulled before they planned to marry. The guy came to know about this and he stopped the forthcoming marriage with her. After that my girl friend had went through depression and we have been dating for the past 6 months. She seems to be a good girl. Can i believe in her? Any ideas? is she geniune

2006-10-02 07:00:22 · 22 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

22 answers

I have been married 22 years. Many years ago an elderly women gave me some advice,

#1 Don't marry someone you want to live with, Marry someone you can't live without.
#2 Study marriage deeply and seek advice from people with solid proven results, never ask anyone who's hopped from one broken relationship into another.

I think if she was tricked into her first relationship that shouldn't be counted against her. Wisely she'll be more cautious & she's learned some from the situaion. Your decision ultimately lies with you.You have tools to learn about women/men (good books) and the choice to choose wisely.

There is a *book, not very long, but filled with excellent marital wisdom, several successful marriage stories from everlasting couples, overcoming obstacles, problems and making it work.

My added piece of advice, "When in doubt don't"

Good luck to you.

2006-10-02 07:29:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Its pretty hard to say anything about her being genuine or not because i dont know her, but im sure you can have a judgement better than i do.
I think since she had some bad experience towards mariage she could be unconsciously acting in a way where she tries to prove herself that she is worth only if a guy wants to marry her or something like that. Maybe she had a fairy tale view of mariage and some random unfaithful guy destroyed her so called dreams of a happy life ever after and shes trying to get that back with you. But this is all assumptions.
I think you should talk to her about what you feel, and that you really care about her and that mariage its in your mind (if it is) and since you both have some bagage from previous relationships, you want to make everything work out in the best way because you really care so you want to go more slowly and cautious acting out of love and responsability. Tell her you want to things to work out for a lifetime and not just for a while.

Best wishes.

2006-10-02 07:10:23 · answer #2 · answered by Evangelina 2 · 0 0

6 months is not a long time before getting married. What is the
rush? I would continue to date and maybe live with each other first before marrying again. You both haven't had very good track records if you are both divorced. You need to get to know each other better before marrying again. You don't want to make another mistake.

2006-10-02 07:51:21 · answer #3 · answered by cee cee 3 · 0 0

I'm confused. What does "fooled by the guy" and "she acted out of innocence in marrying the guy" mean??

Frankly, I think you both are confused and she is really anxious to get married. You 2 need to talk, talk, talk, maybe with your pastor, or marriage or relationship counselor.

Don't do anything for at least six months and then come back and ask us. PS> How old are you two???

2006-10-02 07:07:50 · answer #4 · answered by snvffy 7 · 0 0

The recommend you gave is him is nice. He demands to be there for his child and that's all. He does not ought to be there for her or her demands simply the child and the child's demands. However, he demands to be very cautious with the age quandary he's in. I have no idea wherein you or the daddy lives however such a lot states, possibly all I have no idea, expenses may also be filed towards him now and likewise they've a detailed period of time after to press expenses. I have no idea the household worried and whether it is even whatever they will do however...Since she is beneath 18 and he's over, he has to recall any person can dossier statatory rape expenses, the health care professional on the health facility, the nurse, her mom and dad, practically any person. This remains to be the case after she turns 18. You must determine your states legislation at the age hassle and spot how lengthy you must dossier those expenses. I recognise while I had my son nine years in the past, myself or an individual else had four years to dossier a case towards him. If those expenses get filed and he's determined responsible matters don't seem to be going to appear so well for him later down the avenue as she will get restraining orders and matters extra quite simply with this on his heritage. That is in my state despite the fact that, so be certain and determine along with your possess. This will not be the regulation for your state and likewise will not be whatever her household could do, or whatever medical professionals, nurses, and many others. by and large do for your field. Just whatever to recall! I could surely recall speakme with an legal professional despite the fact that simply to be reliable and to begin getting ready for custody instances. This approach he's ready and no longer going to be too stuck off shield through whatever. But through all manner I am no longer pronouncing simply overlook approximately his baby and I believe it's exclusive that he did the correct factor for this woman. My quandary nevertheless used to be entirely reverse. It is simply too unhealthy that men like yours who check out so difficult to do the correct factor emerge as getting the unsightly finish of the deal. He is a exclusive guy for doing what he did and nonetheless seeking to be there for his baby. Oh and I additionally believe a babyshower for him is a exclusive suggestion. He goes to wish the equal as she could to handle the child additionally. Good Luck and I want you the entire satisfactory!

2016-08-29 09:10:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Make sure she is completely over her depression and strong enough to make a desision like this so it is not because of innocence again.... also what is the reason for you to marry you need to ask yourself....is it for love?? She could be genuine but i think you never fully know someone till you've lived with them for about 6 months to a year so dont rush in and regret it

2006-10-02 07:07:54 · answer #6 · answered by no id 1 · 0 0

You are hearing her side and not all sides. Be careful, I would not rush into anything. Have you met her family and friends yet? Six months is not that long in the dating game to get married, I would get to know her, the family and friends around her more.

Also, use birth control if you are having sex. If she is anxious to get married, an unexpected pregnancy can speed things along.

Please tell her you need more time to decide. Good luck.

2006-10-02 07:08:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Sounds to me like you need to extend the engagement buddy. I was engaged for 2 years before I actually married my wife of today. Something makes it seem like your girlfriend just wants to be married to anyone, so the first guy she can trap she will. And, if your here asking for help, you already have doubt and marriage is all about trust!!

Good Luck

2006-10-02 07:05:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I think you should get engaged and have a long engagement. Treat it like you would if you were married. See exactly how she would be during the marriage. Think of it like a trial period for marriage. Explain to her that you just need to see that she is in it for the long haul. Or you could just get a pre-nup....Then you know she's in it forever and if she leaves at least she doesn't get much.

2006-10-02 07:05:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I would give it time, if she loves you then she will wait. I know you like her but do you love her? That is one you need to sit on for a while and decide for yourself. Tell her that you do want to marry her but you need some time first to get everything situated in your life. Then she will either pull away or keep in it. Hope that everything works out for you.

2006-10-02 07:18:55 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

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