this has two parts, please wait to read additional before answering
i need help because i'm real torn up about this, guess it's why i'm on here. a few months ago my younger sister dropped a bomb on me hinting that my fiance might be gay by saying "ask paul if he knows a guy named corey", when i asked her why she said "just ask him", so i did & he said he didn't know. she refused repeatedly to elaborate on what she wasy saying so it was dropped. then months later I was watching an oprah re-run about women with gay husbands & i got a sick feeling in my stomache & decided to call her up. she ended up telling me that a friend of hers who's gay says he met him on a chicago party phone line and they got together, i woke him up to confront him about it & after denying it for hours (until i ended up getting the other guy on the phone through my sister) he finally fessed up but claimed
2006-10-02 06:55:08 · 17 answers · asked by janet-f10 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It only happened that one time and it was way before me. But after that, I was freaked and spooked about it so I decided to call this very party line and ask if any of the guys on there had met him. I had over 13 guys from that line buzz me and say yes, I even asked them to describe his house (as proof they were there) and 6 of the 13 gave detailed descriptions down to the paintings on the wall! And yes, these were during the 2 years we had been together. When I confronted him with this, he said they tell lies on the party line but he couldn’t deny those who’d described his house saying that he did cheat on me with a guy once while we were together but that it was only a bj and it never happened again. This really stinks because love is blinding me and I don’t believe him but it’s like if I want to keep the man I love I have too but after hearing all of that I just don’t see how you can be that sneaky & then just stop?? Someone please help
2006-10-02 06:55:18 · update #1
Cheating is cheating be it with someone of the same sex or the opposite sex. Your boyfriend is deceitful. You are naive. A bad combination.
2006-10-02 06:57:57 · answer #1 · answered by a_delphic_oracle 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
wow. How AWFUL. So sorry. I am more worried about his ability to lie so well and so much and only telling the truth when caught than I am about the gay issue. I am VERY concerned with him out having sex all over the place, putting you in all kinds of health risks. I would see your doctor and get a comprehensive checkup, such as for Hep. B and C, etc. His ability to lie his *** off so casually is a baaaaad thing. It doesn't end there. The list of things that you've been lied to about is probably endless. Sorry, but he has to GO. And tell your sister to grow up. When she knows something that puts your entire life in question and your health on the line, she needs to just tell you and cool the drama crap. So sorry. Pack today and don't talk to him again. He is a liar, liar, liar and he won't ever change. Ask me. Been there, done this and wrecked my life. Don't even look back.
2006-10-02 14:02:31 · answer #2 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say this if he cheated with anyone he is just what he is a "Cheater". If I were you I would go and get tested. I know that in your mind his attraction to other men would make you feel morbid and grotesque like he is less than a man in your eyes now. The truth is there are some men who are "bi-sexual" (he may be), in his eyes he sees no difference in sleeping with a man or woman even though you can't fathom it; "Homosexual" (he maybe) only are seek to be involved with men exclusively but doesn't identify with that terminology because he is ashamed. Whatever the case maybe it's not a healthy relationship and I must say he's very ambivalent which isn't good either. Good luck, I know you know what your options are it's up to you to find your happiness! Good luck!
2006-10-02 14:17:32 · answer #3 · answered by souljagirpart2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand what the question is. You seem clear that he did cheat on you. The reason people go through an engagement is in order to solidify the relationship, as a transition between "boyfriend" and "husband." This has not happened during your engagement -- quite the opposite. He has proven to you, unequivocally, that he is not trustworthy. Clearly, it would be a mistake to marry a man who is not trustworthy. Be thankful you found this out before the wedding.
(PS - The fact that he was with men, specifically, is irrelevant.)
2006-10-02 14:02:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are two separate issues here. One is that he cheated on you, multiple times. Right there you need to step back and think long and hard about whether you forgive what he did, think he will do it again and if he does, how you will react. The second issue is obviously the gay part. If he is gay, and denying it to himself, he will never be happy with a woman, which means you will never be happy with him. If you love him, give him a second chance, but be prepared to walk away if it happens again.
2006-10-02 14:09:19 · answer #5 · answered by roobs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is good to be with the man you love but is he truly the person you do love? Love is blind and you could be seeing him through these blind eyes. He has lied to you. That should be enough. It matters not if he slept with a man. What matters is the fact that he lied about it. Once a liar always a liar. Get out while you can! In time your heart will heal. He is not who you think he is. Open your eyes and see the truth. You will be glad you did in years to come. To thine own self be true.
2006-10-02 14:02:54 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't envy you at all and I'm sorry for your dilemma. You are a queen deserving to be treated that way.Being an optimist, I want to believe that people can change. Odds aren't always in my favor. If your boyfriend has gay tendencies, chances are that will never go away. Before you cross that threshold of matrimony I'd ask myself if you love him enough to endure the inevitable. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-10-02 15:39:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know that this must be terribly hard for you and im sorry. he was hiding something very big from you. not only is he gay or bi w/e, but he was cheating on you during your relationship. no matter who he slept with, he did it. you have to deal with the fact that this might happen again and the smartest thing for you right now is to let him go. love is very powerful but you shouldnt let yourself be treated this way. he's already shown to you that he's a liar, dont wait around to find out something worse. you can be happy without him.
2006-10-02 14:10:02 · answer #8 · answered by sheldaan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem homophobic this shouldn't be about his sexual past or preference! This should be about being unfaithful and lieing! Make your choices on what to do based on that not his choice of partners! He has been unfaithful and lied about it several times this is serious! If you don't want to end relationship then seek outside help and maybe a trial separation. DO NOT make this about his same sex actions make it about infidelity and lies!
2006-10-02 14:01:03 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Either get into liking three way sex (mmf) or drop him like a hot potato. Oh, and if you've had sex with him you might want to get a check up for std. Realy, be safe than sorry.
2006-10-02 14:20:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋