nobody's perfect..my boyfriend cheated on me 4 months into the relationship. we split up but got back together and have been so strong since...we confide in each other and spend a lot of time together.. we are best friends now. our families have met each other and things have been great.
2 days ago, we both had plans of going out seperately with our own friends. he went out with a friend of his whom i don't particularly like(bad company) and i went out with one of my girlfriends.
i came back rather early and @ 6am, i gave him a call. he told me he was in an expensive hotel and that he and his friend shad booked 2 rooms after their nite out (one friend had come from out of town). i called the hotel to check out the story and thats where he was.
my hearts of hearts tells me nothin happend but because of last year, i can't help but feel that maybe he strayed again...
i don't know what to do. when confronted, he apologisd for not calling and promisd nothin happen. is he lying?
2006-10-02 06:33:19 · 20 answers · asked by robert 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
On several counts, he behaved irresponsibly and immaturely. It does not speak well to your self-esteem for you to wish to remain in a relationship with someone who is irresponsible and immature.
2006-10-02 06:41:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
See, that's what a betrayal of trust does.
It turns you into a different person - paranoid, suspicious, hypersensitive to everything - do you think you'd be like this if you hadn't good reason to be?
Is this the person you want to be?
Is this going to happen the next time something out of the ordinary happens - what if he has to go out of town, say to visit the friend he stayed over with in the hotel (by the way, how do you know there were TWO rooms rented?) Will you be a nervous wreck again???
I don't know what to tell you. I couldn't live my life being put in that position by someone else. In a normal relationship, doing something like that is bad enough, but he has cheated before. For him to do that is much worse - doesn't he GET that?
I'd have a serious talk with him, and see where to go from there, but more damage has been done by him again, both to you and to your relationship.
Is this a pattern you can live with?
2006-10-02 07:30:23 · answer #2 · answered by RM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll have to wait and see. If he's began cheating again it will begin to show in his behaviour subsequently...little lies here and there, being out with you not knowing and having a strory too good to be true etc. You can only cover up something for so long..in the end, it'll all come out. At this point you have to trust him because you have absolutely no proof and he could be telling the truth. But then too he could be lying. You must try and keep a level head. This hotel incident should serve as a red flag and if in the future you have conclusive evidence then to save yourself a lot of heartbreak, you must let your head over-rule your heart and make the right decision. At this point you must give him the benefit of the doubt, let things be normal and dont start getting paranoid about what he may or may not be doing.
2006-10-02 06:48:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a hard thing to stop being suspicious when someone has been cheating u for some time and it's not an easy job to trust after that. However, you've decided to stay with that person. If you still feel insecure, talk to him and tell him that you feel anxious. Staying silent on this is the worst option. All the best! Hope everything will be OK.
2006-10-02 06:57:08 · answer #4 · answered by prahmedio 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,you don't want to jump to any kind of conclusion ,but at the same time that was rather strange for him to sleep out in a hotel room with out even calling you or much less letting you know that it was talk about before hi did it,and due to the fact that he already cheated on you , you will always have your Gard up, with what he did, you should be some what concerned about it, now turn things around if you where the one to spend a night in a hotel room with out telling him or much less calling him,do you think he would be OK with that? you need to more facts about what went on ,i know that no one is perfect ,but if your going to be with someone that you cant trust , you shouldn't put yourself trough that kind of heart ache ,wishing you the best, good luck.
Leena
2006-10-02 07:12:24 · answer #5 · answered by leena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do u just want to torture him for cheating ..or are u gonna leave him if u find out he did it again ... he probably will by the way...
that hotel story is well dodgy.
If I was him ... I would probably leave you.. can't stand being checked up on like a schoolboy.
If you can'y 4give or trust ... there was no point taking him back. You don't trust him .. with good reason .. stop torturing him & yourself.
Dr Bad
2006-10-02 08:06:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would raise my eyebrow if my husband stayed in an expensive hotel out of the blue without calling me (friends or not). But it depends on what is and what isn't normally accepted in your relationship. The mere fact of him staying in the hotel doesn't not say anything, it's how in or out of character this was for your relationship in general.
2006-10-02 06:46:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its a really hard call ... the only thing i think you can do is trust that hes telling the truth for this time and trust your own instincts... nobody can tell you different or tell you if he did or not so i believe you will have to trust yourself. good luck hope it works out.
2006-10-02 06:39:17 · answer #8 · answered by maureen a 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might have been too drunk to come home and felt better and safer staying at a hotel. I would trust him. Watch him and see how he acts.
2006-10-02 06:39:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to believe him until you truly know otherwise. If he does cheat again, the relationship is unrepairable. You will never trust him again.
2006-10-02 06:37:15 · answer #10 · answered by Cary Grant 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋