My husband has cheated on me in the past and he has worked away for 6 years now and i dont have a clue if he has cheated on me while he is away..all i do know is that he is gone for 2 weeks to a month at a time and i get lonely ..he gets mad if i have a babysitter for our 2 wonderful children because he dont want me to get out with out my kids.. I have met this really nice guy that is very good to me but i have not crossed the line with him "let me remind you i have never cheated in my husband"!! I have known this guy for a year now and he has done nothing but be good to me and my kids.. My husband also knows this guy because i introduced my husband and this guy to each other before i started liking this very sweet man!! Now I am very confused and I don't want to hurt anyone...I do love my husband but the spark is gone and I can't trust him I have tried for 10 years now..I don't believe he is cheating on me all the time but I have no way of knowing..What should I do????
2006-10-02 06:22:40 · 26 answers · asked by browneye_ky_girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you dont trust him theres no love so if you want ended with him go follow your heart before it to late. You dont know what he does when his away you want to be living that way for i dont know how long. Think over this situation and follow your heart. Dont worry about the little ones there always a way for them to see there daddy. But think of you too not only them they will grow in move on and you you will stay alone. So think of yourself toooo ok remember once a cheater always a cheater dont let him hurt you again ( do it once shame on him do it twice shame on you)
2006-10-02 06:37:50 · answer #1 · answered by chaparra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. You and your husband have to commit to improving your marriage. If you both want to stay married, then work on your marriage. Get counseling. If you don't, get an attorney and work out the details.
2. You have crossed a line with the new guy. You may not have slept with him, but you have an emotional, intimate relationship with him that should be reserved for marriage. Until you've decided what to do about your marriage, you need to stop seeing this guy. If he respects you, he'll understand.
3. This guy being involved with your kids is a very bad idea. It doesn't matter that he's been nothing but good to them. THEY HAVE A DADDY. Kids are very smart and pick up on a lot. The fact that they've had interaction with you and this guy together means that they're seeing you in a way that they don't see you with their dad. Regardless of how you feel about your husband, watch your conduct and respect your kids.
4. Give up on the idea of hurting someone, it's going to happen. You're at a point where you need to make the best possible decisions for all concerned. You can't continue the way you have been, you can't cop out on your responsibility to be a good example to your kids.
The sooner you decide how you're going to move forward, or not, in your marriage, the better it will be for all concerned. Don't procrastinate, do the right and responsible thing.
2006-10-02 06:36:08 · answer #2 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband about your feelings toward this other man and about your insecure feelings toward him. Maybe some counseling would help, if he wont go with you then go alone. You dont just throw away a marriage when the "worse" part of "better or worse comes out" if your marriage ends then at least be able to walk away knowing you did all you could to save it. I find it interesting that you said is it REAL bad to cheat ... so if you are feeling guilt or hesitance then there is a reason, its called a consious. My ex wife became friends with a "very sweet man" but they were just friends, she never "crossed the line", she filed for divorce and now they are married. Do you really think this guy is just looking for a female to be his buddy, he wants it to go to the next step. How could you trust a man that pursued a married woman and how could he trust you.
2006-10-02 07:09:57 · answer #3 · answered by Allinwiththenuts 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm sounds like you might need a private detective but then again they are not cheap. Maybe you could do your own investigating but then again if you have young kids and he is out of town all the time, then you have that problem. Who takes care of the kids while I am spying on daddy? If you sincerely do not trust him, you truly have a serious problem in your spousal relationship with him. Sitting him down and talking to him the next time you catch him at home would be a good start. Clear the air and find out where both of you stand on this issue of: TRUST.
Honey, good luck with your husband.
2006-10-02 06:29:02 · answer #4 · answered by PsychoSam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Cheating heart is a cheating mind" you only think he is cheating to justify your own actions. I would recomend one thing - Leave if you are going to continue to see this "wonderful" man because if your husband finds out you have had the other man around or doing things for your kids he can and probably will take your kids in custody battle, never underestimate a mans feeling if you think he wouldn't do it because he works away from home remember one thing there are jobs that come open every day and although you think he wouldn't quit his now you would be wrong.
2006-10-02 07:32:45 · answer #5 · answered by Best answer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats tuff.while i would love to say no dont do it,look at the situation.if ever there was a situation screaming cheat it's this one.he's never home.he's a cheater,and your lonely=infidelity.keep it a secret.when your husbands gone handle your buisness and make sure it stays your and the guys buisness.i dont think ya husband will mind since he dont know.every time u feel guilty just tell ya self if my husband was here this wouldnt have happened(maybe) and besides he owes u one,two,depends on how many times he's cheated.ive been cheated on and it sucks but in ya case ya husband had it comin
2006-10-02 06:28:10 · answer #6 · answered by SINISTER MEMPHISTO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You keep concentrating on the fact that your husband could be cheating. Wouldn't that make it easier?
Unfortunately you are in a tough situation. Your husband isn't fulfilling your needs. I would be honest with your husband. Tell him if there is nothing left in your marriage you want a divorce. If he chooses to try than you owe It to your marriage and children to try too. If he is done with the marriage than you know it wasn't you.
Of course you are going to be drawn to the other man who is trying to win you over. I think he is wrong to pursue a married woman who is vulnerable, regardless of how much he cares for you.
Take care and God Bless.
2006-10-02 06:42:13 · answer #7 · answered by galbee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow.... girl all I am going to say to you is follow your heart... I am learning that onc e a cheater always a cheater...If he cheated on you before trust me why he is gone he is probably doing it more.... But I would nto advise you to do it back to him... two wrongs don't make a right.... divirce him and stay friends with that guy until you are ready to date again... don't jump right into a relationship because it is not fair to the new guy to have to deal with your baggage.... Keep it real with him an let him know how you really feel... Your husbadn is a done deal ask him if he is cheating.... make it seem like you know something and make him tell on himself.... I wish you the best of luck....
2006-10-02 06:28:54 · answer #8 · answered by Shonda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to figure out what is best for you and your kids. It sounds like the new guy but only you can truly answer this question. Do a pros and cons list to see where you stand. But you should never stay in a marriage when you know nothing is going to help. Good luck
2006-10-02 06:42:03 · answer #9 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to ask yourself, what is a relationship without trust? Isn't trust the most important thing to have? Sometimes things don't work out like we planned them to. I don't believe in cheating on your significant other, you made a promise to each other. If your unhappy in your marriage get a divorce, don't drag your husband along while you see someone else, it wouldn't be fair to him. Good luck to you!
2006-10-02 06:27:14 · answer #10 · answered by farmergyrl23 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋