The first thing he does when he walks in from work is head for the remote.
He get up 15 mins before he has to leave for work - he never makes up the bed.
I also work and somehow he thinks I never get tired .
I cursed him out and we are not speaking for two weeks, it does not bother me , it is my time to rest and dont do any s**t for him
2006-10-02 06:14:20 · 15 answers · asked by ayo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
not all men are the same
2006-10-02 06:32:37 · answer #1 · answered by traveller 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men and women have to learn each other. Learn each others needs and learn how to meet them. This is what a lot of people call "training". However you say that to a guy and he'll head for the hills. My husband was very messy and lazy when I first met him. However, now (almost 5 years later) he is quite wonderful and very catering to my needs as I am to him. Don't worry it didn't take 5 years for him to get this way. I would say it took about 2 years.
Also, it should never have to reach the point to where you are cursing him out. If you have talked to him calmly on many occasions and he still isn't listening, then maybe it's time to move on? Relationships are work but it should be more fun than work.
Good Luck with everything hon!
2006-10-02 06:23:03 · answer #2 · answered by Julie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like there are other issues going on in your relationship rather if he's a mama's boy or your view if he is lazy or not.
If these things bother you NOW, it will only be 10 times worse after you get married. You cannot change another person, you can only change yourself. I would reconsider having a life long commitment if I was feeling frustrated and annoyed with my fiance' every day.
A marriage should be a 50/50 partnership in life. You both take turns with chores and compromising in making decisions. If you don't have common ideas, morals and lifestyles, you may also want to reconsider what you want and need out of life.
It would bother me if my husband and I went two weeks without speaking. That's kind of childish. You need to grow up and start having a mature adult relationship before you get married.
Communication, trust, love, honestly, friendship, are some of the most important things in a relationship.
2006-10-02 06:54:32 · answer #3 · answered by Erica, AKA Stretch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am hoping you change the word "fiance`" to the word "ex-fiance`" in short order. It is great that you see what he is like before you two have kids and a messy divorce. All men are not lazy for sure. My husband was slacking too. I took little pieces of paper and sat both my husband and my son down. I had written all the responsibilities of a home down on the little pieces of paper. We all had a styrofoam cup. I said, "Who does the laundr?" Me. The paper went in my cup. "Why takes out the trash on Tuesday?" They said me of course. And on and on. In the end, they had one or two scraps of paper and I had 3 cups. They could very plainly see that it wasn't fair. So then began the negotiations. My son does the garbage now. My husband fills the dishwasher and does a lot of laundry. We negotiated who did what and life is SO MUCH BETTER. Each week, we still discuss it. They see me less-stressed and they feel more ownership and like a family. So...that is an option. On Nanny 911, the nanny got out books to represent household chores. Obviously the mom had a heavy load she couldn't even carry. The dad had 2. He totally got it and felt like a moron. She did not critcize or yell, she just showed him what was really going on. Then they divided up the jobs fairly.
So...it can be done. If he truly has no intention of pitching in and acting like a partner, then you can decide if that's okay or not and then decide on whether you intend to marry someone you have to parent the next 50 years. Right now, you do it all and that is great for him. Like you said, stop doing it and sit down and negotiate who does what. It isn't fair and I wouldn't have a husband I did not respect or that didn't respect me.
Hope it all works out. Best of luck to you!
2006-10-02 06:26:53 · answer #4 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You want to marry this guy because _________? This is how you want your life with him? You're not going to change him.
My bf is a hard worker. He gets up at 5:45 Mon - Fri and helps me take care of the puppy and get the kids up for school. (ages 7 & 8) He works until 3:30, then goes to the gym for about an hour or more. He picks the kids up from school and starts dinner before I get home at 6:00. He also helps keep the house spotless, does laundry, the dishes, etc. We live in a nice 2800 sq ft house that he built himself in 11 months while working a full time job at the same time. He watches MAYBE an hour of TV a night if that. I love his motivation and he's not afraid to work.
You couldn't pay me to date a guy like that. Time for him to grow up and get in the real world. If you want to have anything in life, you need to work for it. If you stick with him, it's your own fault, you knew this going into the marriage. You ready to take care of everything yourself?
2006-10-02 06:38:51 · answer #5 · answered by SatinDoll1976 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
no, sweets, all men are definately not mamas boys.
they make thee worst boyfriends, you will find yourself playing the mama role with these lazy *** guys.
spoiled men were raised to be dependant on thier parents, i hate to say it, but if ever you two fall into a hole that he as a man should dig out, he won't do anything but call his mother, and leave you standing on the outside of his little circle.
he loves you, so you have to make him understand that you also work, you are also tired, and you would also love to come home, plop down and watch tv.........but you can't because your responsibilities don't end when you clock out. if anything they just begin. (if you have children).
2006-10-02 06:24:29 · answer #6 · answered by *HOT*GHETTO*MESS* 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't judge all by actions of some; neither male nor female. Maturity comes to all of us sooner or later. Women mature faster than men as a general rule. Speak with somebody older and wiser and seek guidance.
2006-10-02 06:20:47 · answer #7 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gotta work out all these issues before you're married. You guys may not be suited to each other. If you do work it out though, accept each other and don't bring it up later. If it's not forgivable it's best to part otherwise it would be an ugly life for both of you.
2006-10-02 06:18:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, not all men are lazy, sounds like you just made a bad choice. Time to stop complaining and take the responsibility for it.
2006-10-02 06:19:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't marry him. if you're this upset and different before the wedding...it's doomed.
You need to recognize what it is that you want from a relationship and then decide if this guy can or will grow up and give it to you.
There are lots of fish in the sea.....don't marry this one lazy fish if you are't totally in love with him.
2006-10-02 06:22:18 · answer #10 · answered by brookebjpl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ALL men aren't like this. My husband shares in the household chores and typically never stops to watch television until I do.
2006-10-02 06:20:01 · answer #11 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋