My partner has no desire for sex....I am starting to feel tempted to solving this elsewhere. Can anyone advise me? (No sanctimonious moralising please, if possible).
2006-10-02 04:55:52 · 30 answers · asked by Naiveidealist 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
............(thanks for the answers)...we have children so there is no easy out. I love her too but you know, feeling sexual all day is messing up my work!!!!! Porn/toys etc are not her thing (someone suggested that).
2006-10-02 05:29:45 · update #1
Lost interest in sex or lost interest in you? This is no easy remedy when a partner suddenly gets withdrawn for his or her mate.
It is a problem that must be addressed immediately before the relationship crumbles like a dead cookie.
2006-10-02 05:00:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
women simply have no idea how important sex is to a man. I didn't until recently and now things are better, after years of my thinking my husband was a sick person for wanting sex all the time. Try this link to a website that will give you advice on making your marriage better all around. And sorry if you don't want moralising, but my husband had a fling and it nearly killed me and nearly ended my marriage. No matter how much you want sex, you must encourage your wife to try every avenue. You are a partnership, so don't say to her, 'you have a problem,' but try saying, 'we have a problem and I'd really like you to work with me on sorting it out.' Also check that you know how to make a woman feel sexy, because men don't really get it that for us it starts in the brain, we need to feel relaxed and safe. We had a great book called 'how to give her absolute pleasure' by Lou Paget, you can get it on Amazon.
2006-10-02 05:40:40 · answer #2 · answered by good tree 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your partner may just need to see a doctor, or may be too stressed to get into the mood right now. It could be hormones. Give them some space and time, be understanding, and hopefully everything will be okay. The worst thing in the world to do is pressure them. Good Luck. Unless your partner is a man, then you are in big trouble, I've never seen a man who just didn't desire to have sex.
2006-10-02 05:02:02 · answer #3 · answered by lost 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all don't cheat. You two need to talk at length - why do you think she has lost interest? Is it just the lack of "times"? Perhaps you need to find out if you have some place in the equation - usually a husband is quick to blame the wife, but women are complicated beings. When's the last time you brought her flowers? Made dinner? Bought her a cute little piece of jewellery - just because you love her? Wash the pots? Women need to feel needed and wanted - and husbands have to realize "foreplay" can start when they take the garbage out in the morning!
2006-10-02 05:48:17 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to them and ask why they have no desire. Is it a sudden state of play or has it always been like this. It could be depression, work problems, self esteem etc etc. If it is that they just have a low sex drive you need to look at whether this person is going to meet your needs long term. If it cannot be solved and you need more sex in your relationship it is better to end the relationship completely than have affairs.
2006-10-02 05:32:09 · answer #5 · answered by feebee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quite simply you have to ask your partner what turns them on and also you too (eg different sexual position or dressing up or sex in a different location might help. Communicate and ask them solves half the problem then you can take it from there. Is it because they know what is going to happen before you have sex thus taking the thrill out of it hense loss of interest. Hope this helps
2006-10-02 05:04:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried talking about the lack of interest?
How old are your children?
Do you help around the house?
Is she too tired?
Is she suffering from Post Natal depression or Menopause?
You need to talk it through.
If your wife won't discuss it then you have to do what you have to do.But give her the opportunity to sort it out first.
Are you prepared to be told it could be you she doesn't fancy/love anymore?
Be open & ask her what you can both do to spice things up again.
Remember-you were lovers once - before the children came.
Good luck.
2006-10-03 11:21:24 · answer #7 · answered by sanilav 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont cheat on your wife the grass will be no greener. perhaps your wife is feeling strained with the kids cant you wangle a weekend away with someone else having the kids and if you expect sex and put pressure on your wife you really arnt going to get some. take the heat and urgency out of the equation and show your wife lots of love and attention and eventually sex will be back on the menu
2006-10-06 02:46:27 · answer #8 · answered by phillipa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to play hard ball- Alienation of affection is grounds for divorce. No need to spend your life with a frigid sponge. Dump your partner and go find someone who enjoys sex as much as you do. I know that I for one would not put up with someone who didn't put out.
2006-10-02 05:23:46 · answer #9 · answered by Trip S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be that your partner is suffering from sexual dysfunction, they could be cheating on you, or that you've let yourself go a bit and they just don't fancy you any more. Either way you need to talk to them about it. If that doesn't help then cheat on them!
2006-10-02 05:32:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋