my best friend's husband works on the ships she only sees him five months of the year, she is now having an affair with one of her friends, i know that she is verly lonely and i try to spend as much time with her as possible, but my husband also needs my attention, must i tell her what she is doing is wrong? or should she decide for herself, i am the only person she confides in.
2006-10-02 04:23:39 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
As her best friend, you should explain your feelings, but dont tell her what she is doing is wrong. she needs your support. you can explain you think she will get caught and it worries you, or that you are afraid she will fall in love with this other man and what it do to her marriage, that you are very worried that she will get hurt.
If it really pains you, tell her you can support her in everything she does but you cannot concerning her boyfriend. so you two can talk about anything in the world except the boyfriend, because you just cant handle it. I have done that with a friend who was in an abusive marriage but she would never make a change. After she b*tched and b*tched and complained, i couldnt take it anymore. I wanted to kill the guy. So, for my own sanity, I told her until she was ready to make a change, we can talk about anything except the elephant in the corner.
She will figure out its a mistake.
until then be her friend.
2006-10-02 04:34:04 · answer #1 · answered by cici 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you are a true friend you will tell her about it... Be honest with her and e explain to her what you are feeling... but you have to put your self in her shoes for a second.... he husband is gone for 7 months... do you think her husband is being true? ask your self this can you go 7 months without any? All I am saying is be realistic... be honest with your self and keep it real... Your friend deserves to be happy just like you... Woman need to be feel specail to.... you have to understand where she is coming from... but I do understand your point, because her husbadn probably had that job before they even got married so she knew what type of life she was going to have.....so she is wrong and she should be told....
2006-10-02 06:23:48 · answer #2 · answered by Shonda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time she brings it up ask her why she is even still married to him. Ask her if she loves the guy she's cheating with. Tell her there are other options, just getting a divorce is one. Instead of being lonely. But if she is really your best friend then you will accept whatever she decides to do.
2006-10-02 05:55:53 · answer #3 · answered by lost 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as you want to help, helping is not some thing you can do here. This is some thing you have to do from a far. State your
opinion, then let it go. In the end this affair will backfire and some one will be looking for a scapegoat, some one to blame. You don't want that to be you. If she starts to talk about her affair change the subject.
2006-10-02 04:40:39 · answer #4 · answered by jn46036 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She knows that she's cheating on her husband. He's gone 7 months of the year, and it seems she needs male companionship more than that. You could tell her that you don't think it's a good idea, but unless you can offer her a better option........or she chooses to divorce him...... I'd butt out and not say a word about it.
2006-10-02 04:34:55 · answer #5 · answered by dathinman8 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i say u should talk some sense in her head whats the point of getting in a relationship and finding the right person for u if u gonna cheat if thats just one thing u have to deal with in a relationship if she can't deal with that something wrong but just confront her she is doing the wrong thing leave the 1 u love the 1 u love will leave u 4 da 1 they like u do someone wrong it comes back on you
2006-10-02 04:31:39 · answer #6 · answered by Derrick J 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hell yes you should tell her what she is doing is wrong! If she can't handle the marriage then she should file for a divorce. If she real wants to be in the marriage then she should stop being a triflin b.i.t.ch.
Seriously, that's messed up and you should tell her. If being friends with someone only means telling them what THEY WANT to hear, instead of standing up for what is right and wrong, then I'm nobody's friend. I'm not going to lay down and watch someone treat someone else like crap, even if the person who is doing it is MY friend. Some of you people above me have no spine.
2006-10-02 04:26:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, obviously she's an adult and I am sure she is very aware of what she's doing but you can't be her parent. When a person does things off of impulse they have come to terms with the repercussions whether they chose to proceed it's totally up to them. I also suggest you not even discussing her fling with her "Lover" if you feel it's immoral or you are in some way permitting, or feel as though you're not going to support it!
2006-10-02 04:31:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
She knows that it is wrong the best thing for you to do is to make like you don't know what is going on.Her husband when he finds out and he will find out sooner or later will only be mad at you for not telling him
2006-10-02 06:38:56 · answer #9 · answered by Cherokee indian 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do nothing. Just be a friend, but let her know that in this area she doesn't have your support and you won't cover for her. She's a grown girl and is well aware of what she's doing. This WILL blow up in her face. And when it does, don't take sides.
2006-10-02 04:28:24 · answer #10 · answered by Larry F 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋