My boyfriend and I got into an argument. (I will keep the subject of the argument confidential).I questioned something he had said and he thought I was insenuating something that I was not. (Although what he thought I was insenuating was very harsh). This made him so mad.( I could see where it would've if that had been the case). He told me to shut up and get out of his room. So, I decided I would just leave. I was picking up my clothes I had left in the floor so I could get dressed and leave. He asked what I was doing and I ignored him. I was just going to get my stuff and go. He continued to ask what I was doing. I continued to ignore him. He told me to shut-up and get out of his room right? Yes, so that was what I was doing. He grabbed and and threw me out of his room. I don't know if I should be worried about this or not. I know what he thought I was insenuating about him was awful. But I feel like he should have asked if that's what I was saying before he grabbed me. Abuse or not?
2006-10-02 04:05:24 · 12 answers · asked by Dsoftball 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He has never been physically abusive before. This happened last week and he hasn't been done anything physical since. He is a very happy go lucky kind of guy. This is why I'm so confused.
2006-10-02 04:05:57 · update #1
We have been together 3 years.
2006-10-02 04:06:25 · update #2
Asking serious people with serious answers.
2006-10-02 04:11:04 · update #3
I think a lot of people would call it abuse -- he could probably even be arrested for "simple battery" under the circumstances you describe. However, unless it left a bruise on you, or felt very painful physically, I don't think it would be wise to let this be too terribly important to you.
2006-10-02 04:09:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a physically abusive relationship for 1 out of the 3 years I was together with my ex-boyfriend. The first year was great and then things slowly started to go downhill with little arguments turning into full fledged fights, name calling and pushing and grabbing and eventually hitting. Because I loved him and things had been so good before I stayed with him hoping he would change but things became worse. After one fight where I got a black eye, I went and stayed with my friend for a few days. He knew where I was and we talked and he said he was sorry. A month later, I was on the floor being strangled by him. He stopped and ran out the door and after regaining my strength I got up and walked out the door with the clothes on my back and never seen him again until court where I was charged him for assault.
My point is that anytime someone touches you in an aggressive manner, it is abuse. And you need to trust your instinct, which I didn't and look how things turned out. I have a great boyfriend now but it's always in the back of my mind that the same thing will happen again.
2006-10-02 11:19:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a way it is abuse- noone has a ight to put their hands on another person and hurt tehm in any way! BUT its also not like he gave u 2 black eyes and stitches or broken bones either. I think he was reacting out of hurt and just wanted u gone for the moment so he could wallow in self pity!!!!! I met my hubby in 10th grade in high school and we r going on 22 years now- and always remember- dont ignore a man u love when he is upset- he didnt really want u to leave! He wanted reassurance from you that u really still loved him and that all was okay even if he did screw up and when u ignored him it hurt his male pride! Let him know this is NOT the way to win you over and u wont put up with ANYONE putting his hands on you then let him know he did it out of hurt and all is well.
2006-10-02 11:22:38 · answer #3 · answered by cstinkerbell6969 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm, in a nut shell abusive?.... unfortunately yes
No one should put their hands on their spouse.... in any destructive way. Nor should they emotionally abuse them which is far more common... just by him telling you to "shut up" shows that he does not always respect you and treat you as he should.
If you are looking for someone to say, "he was just mad and did it 'just' this once" you probably wont get it. If he is able to loose his temper and you dont think you should be worried.... you are kidding yourself.
Best of luck
2006-10-02 11:07:07 · answer #4 · answered by ♥ goddessofraine ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not categorize that as abuse if he asked you what you were doing and you ignored him. Did he physically hurt you? If so then yes that is abuse. you need to discuss this with him and tell him in the future not to put his hands on you in a threatning manner.
2006-10-02 11:08:55 · answer #5 · answered by confusedpatricia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In relationships you should talk this out no matter how bad the subject is. Throwing people out in not talking it is physical. You both need to grow a bit.
2006-10-02 11:09:29 · answer #6 · answered by fyrechick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie...you have a right to be scared. It sounds like he has an anger problem and you need to be careful. Abuse is defined as anything done to another human being that they dont want done. Even tickling can be classified as abuse if you dont want it. I would definately think about either seeing if he will get help for his anger or leave. Please email me if you need to talk.
2006-10-03 22:32:40 · answer #7 · answered by Saffie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one should ever physically shove, hit or kick their partner for any reason. You didn't put your hands on him and try to physically move him anywhere. If he has it in him to grab ahold of you once it will happen again. That comes with a lifetime guarantee my dear.
2006-10-02 11:25:23 · answer #8 · answered by ladyg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
abuse. its amazing how happy go lucky guys can have crazy tempers. but yeah i say you dont even bother with him anymore. especially if you guys are arguing about something that can be misconscrued(?) into insinuating something really harsh that would drive the other person to abuse. good luck.
2006-10-02 11:09:33 · answer #9 · answered by Gina Smile 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already asked this last week. Are you hoping someone will tell you what you WANT to hear, instead of the truth?
2006-10-02 11:07:33 · answer #10 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋