I'm 24 i've never been in a love relation with a girl. i fell in love 3 times before but i never told the ones i loved that i love them.
now.. i'm in so much need to love and be loved but i can't find my soul mate. and even when i find a nice girl... i don know.
it's fear and worry. plus i'm so shy. introvert who don know how to talk and what to do.
I DON KNOW WHAT TO DO :(
2006-10-02 04:04:55 · 21 answers · asked by 6SLV 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Well, this is difficult. A word of advice though, the risk to love is the risk to become vulnerable. That means, do not be afraid to tell that person that you love her because you may never have that chance again to tell her how you feel or it may be too late. You can only love someone if you are willing to risk getting hurt. It is natural to be hurt, as human beings we often love and hurt in the process. But we have to make a risk, if she's worth the risk, then by all means have to courage to speak up. Tell it from the bottom of your heart. In this sense, becoming a lover is to become a warrior of the heart. You have to fight for that love. You said you fell in love 3x but never had the chance to tell them that you loved them, then if you get the chance again, do not be afraid, say, write her a letter or a note if you are that shy to make a move or make a smart move at least to let her know you love her without intimidating the other person. In that way, you can advance to the next level, not of finding your soulmate, but getting to know your future soulmate. As what one author says,"To love, one must have enormous motivation". It takes a lot of practice, so to speak. What makes rejection seemingly hurt so much is that we perceive it to be a rejection of us personally. The real pain behind rejection is that we think someone is saying we aren't worthyand that we are defective or useless. You, of all people should know that you are worth all the respect so if that other person does not care about you by rejecting your outward signs of love, then she is not well worth the fight. But don't give up hope and let me leave you this heartfelt message to make you go on, "Somewhere there is someone who dreams of your smile, and finds in your presence that life is worthwhile, so when you are lonely, remember it's true, somebody somewhere, is thinking of you." - D'Anne Bucy.
Hope you'll think about that. As human beings you have to love and in turn you deserve someone better also to love you as you are, so if you find her, send me a note. I definitely would like to know how you have come to meet your soulmate. Goodluck.
2006-10-02 05:30:08 · answer #1 · answered by ~Charmed Flor~ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you ever fell inlove. I think you may have fell in passion which is just the first part of falling inlove. When a person falls inlove they are lost without their lover. They seem to be only half there. Inlove is a state of being where two people become one. Each thinks of the other before they think of themselves. They want to serve their lover...do special things for them. They can be together and not converse with each other...just being with each other and holding hands seems to be enough. Communication seems to reach a higher level.
However, when one is feeling low the other picks them up with words of kind encouragement. Talking about the love you have for each other builds that love. Soon you know what your lover is thinking as they know your thoughts.
Then there comes a point when you can't live without the continual presence of the other because when you are not together, your better half is missing. When you reach this point it is time to get married.
Now, here is where it gets scary...it is the thought of accepting the responsibility of that love. Once the commitment is made for marriage of the two then each is responsible to the other. From then on you are not two individuals going your separate way but two individuals that are bound together.
To get over your shyness you should join a public speaking group. Or take public speaking in school.
2006-10-02 04:28:02 · answer #2 · answered by deburleigh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the real question here is "what to do?"
well you are old enough to realize that you need some confidence. Where to find it is the hard part. It starts with how you feel about yourself...you will never be confident if you don't like yourself or are not happy with yourself. Tell yourself you are a good person and it will happen when the time is right. Do NOT be afraid to tell a girl that you love that you love her!! Girls want to hear this (If it is true) If someone loves you and you don't love them back, they will more than likely not stay in the relationship because you will not give them what they desire.
2006-10-02 04:16:43 · answer #3 · answered by key2e 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you were not ready when you fall in love. I believe it is a matter of time, the right time. But what you can do is to develop the quality women like to see to the husband material, patience, kindness, and the nice guy thing.... Now that you feel the need to settle down, guess Pressure build up and you screw everything up. Push the LTR mind far in your mind and explore every opportunity as if you were just having fun but this time aware that if she is the right person, you won't run away anymore....
2006-10-02 04:44:19 · answer #4 · answered by gilberts55 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had to wait until I reached 32, but nothing has ever been worth waiting for so much.
I didn't fear falling in love, I feared I would never find a love that would last a life time.
I need not have been fearful, my nightmares have become the sweetest dream...
2006-10-02 07:19:51 · answer #5 · answered by CC...x 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fear is the worst enemy. Have you seen a child. Fearless. can grab an insect, can touch hot coffee and can do anything because when we are born we have limited fear and later we learn other fear.
Do what you want to do, shyness is nothing, no one is watching you. This life is only once use it in a good way. When you used your avatar you were not shy but when it is talking you are shy?
2006-10-02 04:15:24 · answer #6 · answered by Ari 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah we all are afraid to open our heart and soul, cos it is easy to get hurt, but in life sometimes we have to do things that we are afraid to do.
As you said you are 24 so it is time to grow up, just trust your heart, listen to it and always let the one you love know how much you love and care about her. Hope you'll find your soul mate and will be happyest with her. Good luck :)
2006-10-02 05:50:16 · answer #7 · answered by nini 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We fear rejection and the loss of someone we love, so we are afraid of opening ourselves up to love. But if we should love someone and lose them, we can recover from that with time. And wouldn't that be better than never to have felt that special love with anyone. It can be really lonely without a partner to share your life with.
2006-10-02 04:16:26 · answer #8 · answered by country nana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not a fear of love, but a fear of rejection and being without love. Take your time and work on being a good person and liking yourself. It will happen one day.
2006-10-02 04:13:31 · answer #9 · answered by Jacqueline 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u r feeling nervous bec u r afraid from NO. dont be shy say her each and evrything u feel about her, if her answer is no then dont feel hurt its the part of life things which r u seeing are not only 4 u so be positive may be u feel that she is for u but she feel that she is not comfurtable with u thats y dont think that whats her answer say what u wanna say be open to world
2006-10-02 04:25:01 · answer #10 · answered by paradise 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋