i have been friends with this girl for just over 4 years, at 16, that is a pretty long time... we were best friends, but in the last year, she has been acting like we are just aquaintances.. she hardly calls (like once a week) we used to spend hours on the phone, everyday, she never returns my e-mail, and we only see each other like 1x a month now, she has made a bunch of new friends, and that is okay with me, but we were BEST FRIENDS!!!
i got expelled a year ago, and that is when all of this started to happen, at first we made it work, i still want to be best friends, only she doesnt seem to want to really make an effort,
what should i do.. should i just let it go, move on like she seems to be, or keep waiting, will she realize that she doesnt have a best friend anymore....
any advise for ways to make this work, it is like breaking my heart, we were closer than i am with anyone in my family, she kept me alive when i was suicidal.
i am not ready to loose her...
2006-10-02 03:30:45 · 10 answers · asked by shenae 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
i am a totally different person than i was then, i am NOT suicidal anymore, i go to church 3 times a week (i have invited her to go she wont) i am a good person now, i just dont see why after all of that... all of the drama that we had, she is acting this way...
2006-10-02 03:40:17 · update #1
When you do talk to her ask her whats going on. Let her know how you feel and ask her how she feels. Be honest with her and ask her asap. The longer you let it go the tougher it may be. I just had a falling out with mine and we've been bestfriends for 18 years(since 5th grade). We're trying to make it work but I don't think that it'll happen only time will tell. If she says that she just has alot going on right now then see if maybe once a week or every 2 weeks you two can get together and catch up on things. See if you did something that is bothering her. If she is your true friend then she'll be honest with you. Hope this helps. IF you need someone to talk to or anymore questions feel free to e-mail me. I've been told that i'm a very good listener and give very good advice. Good luck
2006-10-02 03:43:50 · answer #1 · answered by Heather A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it possible that you are at different places in your life? Yes she has been a great help in the past, however having her pull away and choose not to make time for you shows maybe she can not take the drama or wish to be your 'wall' anymore. After all she is only 16, maybe she has a new group of friends, has new interests, and is just being 16 and having fun.
Try telling her that you miss spending time with her and see if she would like to schedule a certain time each month, like the last Friday or something and have a movie night or go for coffee or ice cream.... then you can save up All the exciting stuff and share it once a month. This will be a special time that you will both look forward too, and she might realize that once a month just isn't enough and wish to make a point of doing it more often.
Hard as it is I am sure, if she wishes to remain your best friend she will wake up... however, people do move on sometimes. She may not even notice that she hasn't been around, sometimes we often get so wrapped up in our own lives that we forget that the world is turning for everyone else also.... be honest and let her know how you feel.
Best of Luck
2006-10-02 10:32:53 · answer #2 · answered by ♥ goddessofraine ♥ 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You two may be at different places in your life. There's nothing wrong with that. What about your other friends? Or is this one girl your only friend? It's good think that you and your friend will be best friends forever but once you guys start meeting guys and dating, you'd more than likely not see each other so much anyway. That's just how growing up is.
Also, consider that sometimes, people make friends out of convenience- they live in the same area, go to the same school, or church, etc. But just because you spend all of your time with someone does not mean that you're best friends. Reevaluate your connection. If you were suicidal at some point and she helped you through it, maybe she sees you as being a downer- like someone who can bring her down. I'm not saying this is the case. Just consider that sometimes when your problems become someone else's simply because they are in your association, you become a drag to them. It's much easier to feel this way as a teen than as an adult.
2006-10-02 10:43:33 · answer #3 · answered by Honey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will have to tell her how you feel or she will never know your true feelings. Now that she has new friends, she is busy with them and school work and boys. It can be easy to disconnect from those who were close. You have slipped down the ranks on her priority list. She may feel that you two don't have as much in common anymore. Ask her to hang out more often so you can keep your friendship connection in tact. Otherwise you will drift apart and become acquaintances. I have had many best friends growing up in elementary school, then met 2 new best friends in junior high who I still consider best friends at 27 yrs of age. Although one of them has drifted apart, and we don't keep in contact much anymore, haven't seen her in over a year. I see the other one once a month or longer.
2006-10-02 10:43:56 · answer #4 · answered by hello 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely understand and feel your pain.. Please be mindful that people outgrow people. You know where you stand in a friendship when certain things happens. As you said, you noticed this after you got expelled. You can't make a person stay in your life. If it was me, I'd continue being myself - I'd wouldn't change my behavior at all. Keep doing what you're doing and in a matter of time, your answer will come to ya.
2006-10-02 10:37:19 · answer #5 · answered by Sparkles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it time...I've had my best friend since the 8th grade, then in high school we spent about 3-4 years apart. Now we are best friends again. We graduated from college and I moved back in the area for about a year. We started talking again and bringing back old times and now we are best friends again! Trust me, you just need to stop stressing.
2006-10-02 10:34:01 · answer #6 · answered by TroubleRose 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Naturely we meet people for special reasons. It could be for her to help you through your sucidal moments and that will be all.
Or for you to make impact in her life. But as you said it shows clearly that you too are at different environment at the moment. She has things to handle and the people to help her handle those things that is why it is looking like she is not having time for you now.
What I will advise is that you two could still be friends but do not insist that you be best friends.
2006-10-02 10:52:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a breather honey. Then ask her about how she feels about your friendship. Also let her know that you are feeling ignored.
2006-10-02 10:33:54 · answer #8 · answered by Brad A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she has grown up
2006-10-02 10:34:16 · answer #9 · answered by aldo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
suicidal?ha..move on she dont care anymore
2006-10-02 10:35:32 · answer #10 · answered by ndn_202 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋