Do you think its right that i help my mom pay her bills and her brother bills (he is incarcerated) while i pay my bills late. I pay rent $400, which i thinkits too much, im only 22 and i just finish college. Im trying to pay off my credit cards bills and student loans which is really hard. But if i dont pay her she sill kick me out and i have no where to go. Plus my younger sister moved out and we are struggling. Its like im willing to help her but she dont know how to appericate me. Its just do hard what should i do?
2006-10-02 03:20:49 · 24 answers · asked by Oh Boy!! 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
sit down and be honest with mom show mom all the income you have and debt that you have and what you absolutely have to pay each month then tell her that you need to work something out where you can help her as much as possible but that it doesn't interfere with ruining your credit...hopefully she'll understand if not look for different living arrangements That would work for you maybe sharing a place with several roommates to limit what you pay out good luck it is good that you are educated and trying to help your family get out and put that education to work and make a life for yourself..mom may be hurt at first but moms always love their children and she'll probably respect you more in the long run
2006-10-02 03:26:58 · answer #1 · answered by Alli 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a mother, I have been struggling myself--but I never expected from my son to pay for anything.
You are 22 and have to pay for your debt first thing, and you have to get independent. The student loan does have priority or you will never have good credit.
I would suggest that you temporarily look for a roommating environment where you can share the rent and utilities. However, 400 dollars might not be a whole lot considering the price of rent,phone,heat,and food nowadays. I don't think that 400 dollars is a lot,k but what is really important is that you get independent. You can help your mother in other ways once you are on your own.
You can check on the internet and in local newspapers to find any apartments where a roommate is wanted and check out the places, compare your co-expenses and so forth before you finally make a decision...good luck
2006-10-02 03:28:08 · answer #2 · answered by MARIANNE G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO IT'S NOT FAIR....
but I'm in the same boat with you, pay $400 for a room, work 2 jobs (full time and part time)....just graduated from college and the loan has kicked in...
Girl it could be worst...just remember this is going to make you stronger and to save your money as best as you can so you can GET OUT...
Your credit is going to look bad if you continue to be late on YOUR bills
First off...how does a man incarcerated have bills, ( I personally would have nothing to do with something incarcerated, cause they are on punishment)...
You'll both need to seat down and see what BOTH of you'll can do to maintain a steady lifestyle. Create a budget.
But you'll get through this
2006-10-02 04:18:31 · answer #3 · answered by fatiegurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, its not fair.. you should not be paying your mom's bills plus her brother while you are still paying rent. Im sure you can find a place that will charge you the same amount of rent as what your mom is asking you. Move to your own place and dont worry about thier expenses as you have to start taking care of yours especially if you are having a hard time taking care of your own bills. Once you move, you will feel a little bit at ease.
2006-10-02 03:35:07 · answer #4 · answered by Jon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you are living at home then you should be responsible for some of the shared household expenses. At the age of 22 your mom shouldn't have to support you any longer, but at the same time you shouldn't have to do any more than pay your fair share.
I'm sorry but I don't think that $400.00/month is too much for an adult with a full time job to pay for rent. If that's all you have to pay out.
You didn't really specify if you are paying $400.00 per month, week, or year. Plus you didn't say if she is asking for more money than that, or if it is just your perception that she is using the money she gets from you to pay her brothers bills or what.
If you agreed to pay her $400.00/month & that's all you have to pay, then it's none of your business what she does with it afterwards, as long as you have the living space & conditions that you expect to get for that. Plus she doesn't have to thank you for just paying your share of the expenses.
Knowing what you have to pay your mom at regular intervals should be a good place to start on creating a personal budget.
Stop spending with any or all of your credit cards. Cut up every single one if necessary. Get a 2nd job if you need to, & pay off all of your loans ASAP. You can make it easier on yourself if you stop paying late charges, & overdraft fees, they are an unnecessary expense that you can avoid by paying your bills on time. Adopt a policy of, "If I don't have the money in the bank, then I don't have any money to spend". Stick to that, & you can work your way out of debt, & stay that way.
Then maybe you can really be self-supporting, & be ready to move out.
2006-10-02 03:49:15 · answer #5 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing to do is to move out. Your mom's and uncle's bills shouldn't be your responsibility. Don't let your credit go bad because you'll be stuck for a long time! Find your own place and focus on getting your life together before anything else! You may want to help your mom but she's not even appreciating what your doing so live for yourself! Good luck!
2006-10-02 03:29:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you deserve 100% credit for doing what you do. however it now sounds as though you're being taken advantage of. If you're paying 400 - surely you could afford to move out and pay rent?
At least if you made that threat to your mother so she may realise that shes taking too much off you and that if she doesnt start pulling her own weight a bit more when it comes to bills that she'll lose your help altogether.
I hope things work out for you xx
2006-10-02 03:25:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck trying to find your own housing for $400 if that's a month. If you pay $400 a week that's way too much. If you don't appreciate each other, then it isn't going to work. Maybe you and your younger sister could live together?
2006-10-02 03:28:50 · answer #8 · answered by yourdayscoming 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should see how much you could budget to move out on your own. It seems like you are responsible and have accomplished some good things. Congratulations on your college graduation, way to go!! Maybe your sister and you could move in together if you guys get along. But to answer your question, no I do not believe that, that is fair to you at all!! Respect goes two ways! One more thing, try talking to your mom about how you feel, you don't want to leave on a bad note if you are going to leave because you could not seem to work things out! She is your family try to talk things through but be firm with whatever you choose to do!
2006-10-02 03:25:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No its not fair...honestly, I think its time to move out. You need to find a better paying job and find a new place to live. Combining the rent that you pay her and paying her bills you could have your own place without the stress
2006-10-02 03:23:40 · answer #10 · answered by TroubleRose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋