i am an outgoing confident person but when i go to college or i go to work i find it hard to get on with the people there. i input into conversations but no-one ever invites me out or asks for my number to be friends with me.
in the last couple of years this has been happening and i dont know why.
i never used to have this problem i used to be miss popular but now i always feel pushed out where ever i am.
how can i get back into the group? i am 23 years old.
2006-10-02 03:13:36 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Sociology
From my experience of the last few years of uni and a few after, people seem to go back into their shells a bit in their early 20s. They get settled with their friends and don't practice the social skills you use a lot when you're 18. People that age (what?? MY age, dammit) have a lot to prove-it's the beginning of the first part of your life you have fairly total control over, removed from the single-minded worlds of school and uni. Maybe your confidence seems a bit scary to them? Either way i doubt its you, since you come across fairly genuine (as far as net stuff can be judged)- try to get people to open up oneonone- people can sometimes open up when they need to get stuff off their chest. Good luck, and relax! x
2006-10-03 01:50:36 · answer #1 · answered by stick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in the next stage of growing - it is called apart from your friends. You can't change the world, only yourself. So what is it that changed - you. But so have they and often you begin drifting apart...the paper chase, marriage & family, career, exploring new horizons....
This is not going to be easy, but...
You may not be able to get back in because it is obvious by their reactions that they don't want you. You need to move on and meet other people.
Find groups that pertain to your interests like bowling leagues, dart clubs, travel clubs, volleyball-softball-basketball teams....etc.
Create your own group of people to hang with. Use Craig's List to meet new people or set up encounter groups. Give yourself time you will be OK!.
2006-10-02 03:26:02 · answer #2 · answered by midnightlydy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nert61 has the right idea and if they still don't ask you to go out afterwards than you are probably better of not bothering.
You mostly find that you have alot more fun with your bezzie buds anyway so give them a call, go out n put a big smile on your face :-) coz when you are worried or nervous around new people you will prob find that you cant be your self anyway!
2006-10-02 03:29:51 · answer #3 · answered by livlifelivs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's just an different circle, and people tend to be a bit more private as adults than they are as kids. I have hardly any friends, I am 30 and got on really well with people at school, it's just a bit harder as adults, most people are more cynical and not as trusting. Don't push things with people, just be friendly, find out who has the same interests as you etc, it just takes more time, you'll be fine
2006-10-02 03:20:08 · answer #4 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe try and lighten up a bit and have a sense of humour. Or maybe you could invite them out to lunch and see if they are happy to go or not. If the answer is no you could try and ask them why. I think you may be better on a one to one basis to start with.
2006-10-02 03:18:43 · answer #5 · answered by lottie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its due to the fact that most people our age are morons unfortunately!
I have a similar problem I can't find anyone that I can spend more than 5 minutes with.
2006-10-02 03:23:08 · answer #6 · answered by wayne t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well its not you that has changed, its the people around you that have. You're probably still the great person you've ever been, but people around you must have changed i.e. with age and have taken up things your probably not into. It depends on many factors, more information may help :D
2006-10-02 03:19:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old are these people........I had the same problem but I found that with my coworkers it was the age gap and a little resentment that someone my age was at the same level as them. Don't sweat it.....they'll come around
2006-10-02 03:25:16 · answer #8 · answered by dininat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should start your own group.
Maybe there just now your kind of people.
Try talking to some other folk?
2006-10-02 03:21:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you come accross as over confident, just relax, dont try so hard, be yourself and ask them.
2006-10-02 03:21:46 · answer #10 · answered by chickadee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋