Married but also have feelings for somone else? What do I do?

Question

I'm married to a wonderful man. He thought it would be awesome to see me w/ another female(possibly join in if time was right). Well, I became friends(and more) w/ a lesbian. I never thought I would/could have deep feelings for another female, but I do. I love both of them - each for their own qualities! He doesn't want me to talk to or see her ever again. But, I feel a pull to her. Not only is she funny, smart and hot, but she makes me feel alive. She compliments me, makes me feel like I truly mean something. I can't tell you when the last time my husband told me I was beautiful.

I'm sure there's more that I could type in here, but this is my first question I've posted and I want to see what kind of answers I get. Thanks for reading my post! Also, thanks in advance for any insight you can give me!!

Answer 1

First of all you and your husband should of never had another person in your bedroom. Marriage is about the love and commitment between two people and not about getting ones pleasure from people outside the marriage. Your husband walked into this one himself. He thought he was the "man" and getting what some (immature) men fantasize about. Your should of thought about the consequences and the possibility of your marriage failing before you and your husband decided to act on his selfish wants.

Answer 2

you are committed to your husband but you seem to need a little bit more attention than what he giving. Your problem is the female has shown you attention that your husband hasn't and that is all that she is supposed to do for you draw you closer to your husband. so forget her, never mistake a friendly reminder for a new set of shoes because they will run away all the time. Take the time to rekindle with your husband. Tell him how you are feeling and hold nothing back. After that go on a romantic date and get all dressed up and see if the conversation had any effect.
Best Wishes, Darling

Answer 3

see. this is the problem with a three way. People can form feelings and not be good for the marriage. Thats why it isn't good to do. Also do you remember in your marriage vows that you promised to keep faithful to each other? When did that go out the window.

Forget the woman and get back to a monomongous relationship with your husband.
The more you think about her the more you will romantize her. She will become womer woman in your memories and the hubby might start not being what you need. Get her out of your head, it will just mess things up big time.

You have vows of marriage......otherwise why the hello did you get married???? Get back to your marriage.

Answer 4

Well, there you go. You convinced yourself it was okay to do something you knew was wrong, in part by saying it was good for him too and bang, unintended thing happened. Now maybe you know why we are told to not cheat on our spouse in any way.

Next, think about this. Your husband who you say is a great guy, will now become another one of us who only see women as vermin because he got screwed over by one. One who promised to love him, be faithful to him and stay with him all his life. Now maybe you will see why we think that women have no value aside from a vagina. Maybe you will see why we think that women are completely treacherous creatures that cannot be trusted.

The grass is always greener, but usually mostly over a septic tank. I kind of hope you do leave, that way your husband will become another seeing being who understands just what and how women are and he will deal with them accordingly from now on.

Answer 5

I think you should leave her alone. Did you notice that you complimented your husband by saying that he was a wonderful man. But, then, you turned around and said that he doesn't say your beautiful. You are trying to find things wrong with him so you can be with her. You better decide what you want cause chances are he isn't gonna take you back if ya'll split up over that women.

Answer 6

I could be rude and tell you to go on the Jerry Springer show, but I won't. When you took the vows of marriage, they were only between you and your husband. Two is company and three is a crowd. Either leave your husband for her, or tell your husband to put some more "zing" in your marriage. You can't have your cake and eat it too. That's a formula for disaster.

Answer 7

I know what you're going through. Although our experiences are a bit different, I can relate to how you feel and what you're going through. I met another man and the same thing happened to me. The only thing I can you is follow your heart. I know you love both of them and as you said, they each gave their own qualities, which make them unique and makes you love them. Take a breather and think of all the pros and cons of each relationship. Good luck and hang in there girl!
Wish you the best!

Answer 8

You made a commitment to your husband when you married him. For better or for worse. I know he presented this threesome scenario, but you have to do what is right. Having someone outside of your marriage is not right whether they are a man or women. Do you have a church home? A pastor you can trust? Seek counseling to help you overcome this situation. You may not want to hear this but if you turn your heart to Jesus, he can lead and guide all of your questions and concerns!

Answer 9

First i must ask... what/who do u really want..ur husband or ur lesbian lover?

We r not here to critise anyone, but to help answer questions that may help u in any way possible. Whatever u desire i suggest u talk with both partners abt ur feelings rather than just strayin them along.

Goodluck!

Answer 10

Is it possible to love, and be in love with, two people? Yes absolutely. But you can only be loyal to one. Although he suggested the initial experience of you with another woman (which is so incredibly stupid on his part), you are married to him. If you want to stay married, I suggest ending the relationship with the other woman. If you want the other woman, I suggest ending the marriage. To do anything else is cheating all three of you.