My husband has chosen to sleep on the floor of our home office for the last 5 years. We have sex about 5 times a year (Xmas, Chinese new year, his Birthday, my Birthday, and Mother Day).
No, he is not sick. He is prepping to run the 2007 marathon. No, I am not sick. I have the body that every woman envies at my work.
What should I do? We are worst than roommates. I am seriously considering aldultery, just waiting for a nice man to cross my path.
Counseling is not an option for him who doesn't see the problem. I already addressed the problem with him several times. Things got better the next 2 weeks then fall right back to where they came from: the floor. I think he should see it if he is man enough. I am not his mother to keep telling him what he should do.
What should I do? Go on for another 5 years, private adultery, or publicly quit? Please give me some advice of your own. Thanks.
2006-10-02 03:04:17 · 18 answers · asked by chanella90012 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't cheat on him, but if he continues like this without working it out with you, divocre might be an option. You need to tell him how serious this is. You need to tell him that if it isn't fixed, there will be dire consequences.
2006-10-02 03:19:42 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in a similar situation. My husband's sex drive is non-existent. We've never made love on an anniversary, birthday, holiday or any day much lately.
It started soon after we married, but before we were married, it was great.
He doesn't even try to satisfy me. I separated from him in May because I told him I'm very unhappy. We've been talking and he now says he wants to try and make it work. I'm moving home this month; but I'm hesitant.
I'm going to give it some more time, but if it doesn't work, I may leave again.
You need to keep expressing your feelings to your husband. Make him realize how you feel. Then, you may need to leave him to make him see that he's hurting you.
I decided not to commit adultery, because I knew it wasn't what I wanted. I want a complete marriage, not an affair.
I'm sure that's what you want also. I hope it works out.
2006-10-02 06:04:13 · answer #2 · answered by wayouthere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must get him to counseling or your marriage is done for. I am sorry but my wife did a similar thing refused sex except for special occassions for the last 8 years. I finally got her to counseling and she admitted she has a boyfriend and is in love with him. Most woman dont cheat for the sex (although in your case it may be) they cheat for some kind of emotional suport the other guy can give. Needless to say talk to hubby tell him you have set up a visit with a counselor to discuss the problem if he wont go then bring in some boxes and begin packing your things. Life is too short to live the way you are and I have been.
2006-10-02 03:27:35 · answer #3 · answered by fortyninertu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd be very firm with him. This is not acceptable for you. I wouldn't commit adultry. If all he wants is a roommate, then I suggest he move out and get one. I would not continue as is for another 5 years. Sex and physical affection is a major part of a committed relationship. He's denying you that contact.
Although, I have to question, is he having an affair? For a healthy adult male to have sex only 5 or so times a year is very very odd.
I'd put a stop to it - one way or the other. Good luck!
2006-10-02 03:09:43 · answer #4 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce isn't an option!! It never is. there is too much divorce in this world already. If you aren't in a Church then that is an option. Marrage is a covenent replationship between a man and wife. God created sex to be between a husband and a wife. Eph 5:22 -25 - 22. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
show him that in the bible. God's word is true and is the only word - GOD BLESS and good luck
2006-10-02 04:42:18 · answer #5 · answered by certrvtech 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny that he uses an excuse like running for not wanting to have sex, doctors will tell you it is very healthy.
Do what it takes to get your point across except cheating.
That will destroy any chances for you.
If you have to buy a toy & do it in front of him.
If he isn't willing to work this out with you then maybe you should just pack up and move out for awhile so that he has time to realize what he is missing out on.
If running is more important to him than you, I suggest just getting a divorce.
Have you asked him if he is gay?
2006-10-02 03:40:04 · answer #6 · answered by Emptiness 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what does sleeping on the have to do with getting ready for a marathon? something else is wrong with him and if I were you I would be checking some things out!!!! , I sure hope im wrong but it sounds like he might be cheating , and hes using the marathon thing for a cover up, You see when a man is cheating he usually saves all his energy for the other woman, I know I have been down this road, I sure hope im wrong but what you really need to be doing is checking up on him , I did and it payed off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! think about it..... take care
2006-10-02 03:39:31 · answer #7 · answered by missy h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, I dont want to say leave him cause that would mean that your marriage is based on sex and without you two can't be together but that doesnt sound right.
Like every marriage, a compromise has to be done. Your not happy and something has to be done about it. You should tell him that you are considering seeing someone (just to see his reaction). Hopefully then he'll get his act together and give you sum.
Good luck!
2006-10-02 03:10:33 · answer #8 · answered by Melia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go for adultery. If things are that bad, then end your marriage first. Your husband is seriously blind if he doesn't see a problem! It's better just to end this and start fresh.
2006-10-02 03:25:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's having a marathon alright! On somebody else's hole (male or female). No excuses. For guys who is not interested in sex, he's got to be dead or paralysed from the neck down.
2006-10-02 03:46:37 · answer #10 · answered by SaxNSig 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋