people (usually noisy loud-mouthed ones) think one is shy or some sort of misfit who needs to come out of her/his shell? I was always like this, except when i'm around people close / near / dear to me. Despite this, i make friends easily and i'm a bit of a bashful extrovert...why then, do chatty people always assume one has 'hidden agendas' ...and at job interviews, these "bubbly" people who blabber on and on ...get preferred over a hard worker such as myself...? i think the world works back to front...
2006-10-02 02:51:47 · 13 answers · asked by Wisdom 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
i guss so
2006-10-02 02:54:13 · answer #1 · answered by george p 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
couple thoughts, for what they're worth
- in private life, who cares? I mean if you are of the quieter type, or if you have your quieter moments, and some idiots don't understand / respect this, just get away from them. And if they are family, then hopefully you should be able to explain, or at least go to another room w/o being rude?
- at job interviews, well. Generally it proves counter-productive to play a part at job interviews, because it can end up in your being given a job that you won't like, and will not do well. Landing such a job has got to be seen as a failure. But still, if you think a job is for you, then depending on the style of the interviewer(s) yes you may have to be a bit noisier / proactive than your natural self, just to make sure you are given a chance to show that you can work hard. Also there are cultural issues here: in the US it is considered de rigueur to be very assertive and energetic and over the top, whereas in other cultures (German maybe) the same behaviour may make you come across as phoney / a bit mad. Anyway, this is a factor, and you have to be aware of it.
Good luck
2006-10-02 03:03:29 · answer #2 · answered by AntoineBachmann 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally feel your frustration but all I can say is just don't take notice of these kind of people. You are right! Why does one have to be a blabber-mouth who's always talking like they're suffering from a verbal diarrhoea. It is boring and unproductive at work. I think employers just want to make sure that the new employee will 'fit in'. You don't have to come out of your shell you can be an exciting and fun person on the quiet. There's one very good thing about people like you: they've got a very colourful world inside them, which is why they don't need constant entertainment. You are probably very creative in at least one area. So just ignore them get on with your work, you are not there to be the clown or the court jester, you are there to do work. I'm sure you've got brilliant friends and family, save your energy for them.
2006-10-02 03:06:31 · answer #3 · answered by Luvfactory 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I definitely believe that the "quiet ones" like you and I are accused of being "sneaky" and in our shells because those other people can be loquacious, and bossy sometimes and we tend to be opposite because we are calm, constant.
I was at an interview once and this lady said to me: "You seem timid, girl! Where's the happy, chatter, the extrovert for this type of business?" All I could say was: "The extrovert is shown in my work and how well I communicate with people." See, I'm a hard worker, Wisdom, and I am very shy, but I am open to those I am close with. People must understand it is good to be different sometimes. As long as the job is done...
2006-10-02 09:21:16 · answer #4 · answered by Golden Scepter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well on ething that i have noticed about these types of people is that they usually have some sort of problem with needing attention or they have a low self-esteem. they see you and they think something is wrong with you because you arent acting as they do craving attention and trying to be noticed by others. they cant understand that you are comfortable with who you are and have no need to talk excessively to get noticed or paid attention to. So they think you need to come out of your shell, and be more like them or that you are quiet because you are hiding something. the reason that job interveiwers take people like that is because typically at an interveiw you are expectd to talk. it is your job to explain everything about yourself, why you are good for the job, your special qualities, ect. basically your supposed to brag about youself and say how wonderful you are. these people who desire attentiona dn need to feel good about themselves are already good at doing that. that is why in the job interview you must for a little bit be more like these other people. any other time though you should continue to be you, because you are happy with who you are and dont need any extra attention to know that you are a valuable member of society
2006-10-02 03:08:50 · answer #5 · answered by oxenofterror 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm, i agree with you.I am one of those blabber mouths but also a hard worker.I used to be shy, that didn't work for me. I think the world does work back to front and inside out
2006-10-02 02:54:59 · answer #6 · answered by quozy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes if someone is quite, it makes others feel that they are being rude. I think if you are up front and tell your fiends that you are just a thinker, they will let you be. Or if it is a real problem just try and say rather than think all the time.
2006-10-06 02:05:12 · answer #7 · answered by dochsa.co.uk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's unfair, but people with the "gift of the gab" sometimes do get jobs that they're not really qualified to do......Tony Blair for example!
2006-10-05 16:21:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
with someone who is chatty and shows their thoughts on the surface, employers can see what they're getting more easily.
2006-10-02 02:56:03 · answer #9 · answered by LucyB18 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Shy you might be, but you are also very wise. what you have said is so true...the world is back to front.
2006-10-02 03:01:54 · answer #10 · answered by a cottage by the sea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cos it's the quiet ones you have to have..
"Oh he was always SUCH a nice boy, kept to himself. We never even dreamt he was the sort to go on a killing spree in Waitrose with a dead goose."
2006-10-02 02:56:04 · answer #11 · answered by DemonicaB 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋