we are a gay couple and have been together for 3yrs.he steals out of department stores or anywhere. he lies to his mom constantly skips school and is very sneaky. he also a very lazy child.all he wants to do is eat and sleep allday. yesterday he stole my cell phone for the second time.and he swore he didn't do it.hours later he did come up with it. i am fed up.
2006-10-02 02:48:09 · 13 answers · asked by ladypp3085@sbcglobal.net 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
get the book TOUGH LOVE
Sounds like the kid needs some boundries and expectations.
Make a list of what he does wrong and the conscquence for the failure to comply. Have him read it and sigh it, He can also be part of coming u p with consquences.
Just don't make the punishment be so harsh and long that you guys punish yourself;.
If you get him used to the rules and consquences the list will do the talking and you can quit yelling and feeling frustrated.
If he is stealing.......March right down to the store and have him return it and say he is sorry. If they press charges then so be it.
The consquencs for stealing is a trip down town to the poliece station.....and could but an end to this shop lifting.
Good luck
Be firm but loving.
You might be delightfully suprised that he will envntually turn in to a wonderful young man someday.
P.S. one more thing. Work on positive compliements. Lets say if he does his homework all weeek and gets to bed on time he gets an extra $15 of allowence. Nothing motivates more than a good reward . YOu have to keep things written down to keep track of it.
Also notice when he does something good, be sure and compliment him..........those compliments can make him feel very good about his self and raise his self esteem.
2006-10-02 02:58:24 · answer #1 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Has it ever occured to the two of you that he may be a little uncomfortable with your relationship? Did you all explain to him before the relationship started? Did his mom talk to him about her lifestyle? He may be getting teased at school, which will cause him to act out. There could be a number of reasons. If you have only been in his life for three years, you have absolutely nothing to do with it. His mother should deal with him by being honest with him in all aspects. He could have a million things on his mind and in his heart that she need to talk to him about. Did the two of you sit down with him and explain your relationship to him? Did he say it would be okay just because his mom wanted him too or was he really okay with it. His mom needs to have a long serious talk with him soon before things get any worst. She has to be a mother to him no matter what you think or what you feel. SHE has to be this childs mother. Not you. Back off and let her spend quality time with her son alone so he can feel comfortable with his mom without you. Give him a chance to get to know you as a friend and not a parent. TAke care and I hope everything works out for you.
2006-10-02 09:59:19 · answer #2 · answered by ga_gyrl91 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Next time, arrange for a police officer to come to your residence as if to take him away... he needs to visit a police station, jail cell, or even prison; because his actions are not too far from him standing before a judge.
Talk it over with his mother and if his behavior continues, then let the laws of the land prevail.
You have to do something now, because once he becomes an adult and leaves (or is put out) home, he's gonna have the same mentality of committing minor crimes until he's finally caught.
2006-10-02 09:55:44 · answer #3 · answered by E. Gads 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
talk to your mate and the next time he does something illegal call the police ..that sounds harsh but he should learn his lessons now while a minor then continue in his ways and end up in jail through out his adult hood..most police departments will give him a chance to help himself before they actually charge him with something and a juvenile record is closed when they are an adult If you know he stole from a department store return the items and give them a pic of the boy they will respect you more especially when they know you aren't condoning it..it is a hard thing to do but years down the road he will thank you
2006-10-02 10:04:09 · answer #4 · answered by Alli 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are a girlfriend not the kids parent...you have no legal juristiction over this child so be carefull what you do and don't cross any legal lines.....you will be in the wrong. As much as this kid is driving you crazy it is his mother's (and father if he's around) responsibility to make this kid walk the line. Sounds like it's time for some tough love...when the kid steals call the police...do not protect him from himself.
2006-10-02 09:58:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beat his ***! Seriously he probably thinks he's a man now, so he can do what he wants, Well his Dad needs to step up and be a man and take care of you by fixing his child. Because seriously today it's your cell phone, next week it's your money, then your car, then he's just gonna be another little thug on the street. Honestly what kind of future is he expected to have acting like this. He needs a reality check, Mommy and Daddy need to put jr. into his place. And if push comes to shove you do it.
2006-10-02 09:54:45 · answer #6 · answered by mbsparks11@verizon.net 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The next time that he does something that is clearly illegal, call the police and have him arrested; he does these things for attention and knows that he can get away with it without punishment (of any significance). I fully blame the mom for spoiling him and giving in to his whims - she's created a monster out of a spoiled little boy.
When he finds out what the rest of the world does with thieves, he may reconsider after a night in jail; the point is to tell him CLEARLY, that future acts of rebellion will result in very adult consequences.
2006-10-02 10:15:26 · answer #7 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I suspect the kid takes a lot of crap from his peers. Maybe his Mom needs to consider his needs before her own for a few years. He needs professional help to deal with your life style. Get off his back. Move out of the house and get him help. You should still see/love/support his mom. Just not be in his face.
2006-10-02 10:00:17 · answer #8 · answered by lollipop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you need to find out why he is lashing out this way, i mean, there must be something wrong for him to act this way. Have ya'll tried to sit down and talk to him. When you find out why then it will be easier to figure out what to do.
2006-10-02 09:52:54 · answer #9 · answered by Nicole M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They have special schools for teenagers his age far away try looking into one of them. My little cousin got sent away to one he's doing pretty well.
2006-10-02 09:53:23 · answer #10 · answered by liliw24 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋