I dumped my ex because he stopped paying attention to me and started giving all his attention to another girl. He reassured me that they were just friends, but I couldn't take it any more. He didn't want to break up with me & he asked if we can still be friends. I agreed because we were together for 4 years & have done a lot of things together. So, the whole friendship thing between him & me was going pretty good. I noticed small changes in him that I thought were an influence of this other girl. Now, he just told me over the weekend that he's really hitting it off with the other girl & they'll probably start a relationship. I'm so pissed at him! I knew it all along & he kept saying "no it's not like that, I'm just friends with her". And I'm also upset that he can pick up and move on so easily. My heart is still broken and I know it'll be a while before I meet someone new. He's still persistent that we stay friends. But is that even possible?
2006-10-02 02:35:28 · 12 answers · asked by ☆skyblue 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I don't think you not should be friends with him. It he lied to you when you were with him, what makes you think he won't lie to you when you are friends? Me and my ex tried to be friends, but it didn't work. I realized that I still had feelings for him and as long as we communicate I won't feel happy. Let go and let it die. Maybe in time he will realize that she is not the one for him. Some people just need to experiment with more people just to make sure that they have the right one. I hope you understand what I am saying. Good Luck and don't worry.
2006-10-02 02:41:36 · answer #1 · answered by purplestar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure if being friends is the best thing to do right now.... in time you may find that you are able to maintain a friendship, however you said it yourself that "I'm so pissed at him!" for starting to see the the other girl... right now I just think you would hurt your self more trying to befriend him.
Reassure yourself that you did the right thing.... you got out of a relationship that was making you unhappy. Take some time for you and enjoy being a single woman for a bit. Once you can move on than you may find that being friends with him will get easier also. If seeing (or thinking of) him with another woman makes you angry, you won't be able to accept his new life.
Maybe you could tell him you would like to be friends after things have calmed down, drop the occasional (once or twice a month) email to let him know you were thinking of him and hope all is well - once you feel you are ready to try being friends... remember if you cant accept him being with other people, it might be best to not try to be friends at all =)
Best of luck (it is hard)
2006-10-02 02:37:49 · answer #2 · answered by ♥ goddessofraine ♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesnt work chook...it really doesnt. The new girl would not like it and will dominate his time. You wont like to think of him making love to her and try to seduce him back...which will either end in rejection or him cheating on his new lady. Neither stance will make you feel better about yourself.
It will also prevent you seeking a new partner, as your brain will still be following him around for attention.
Some exes can remain friends.....only if there was love missing on both sides for ages and there has been a gap and you hit it off with the gf first...and even then its asking for trouble.
Emotional bonding means that you have to give your ALL to a new partner....not have one foot out the door with an old love "just in case" the new partner doesnt work out. Would you really want him back knowing you were just a touchstone....ex for sex as he's already figured you arent longterm material for him...not enough love or chemistry or he'd still be with you. You know that...so dont wait for him to take you back as sloppy seconds.
2006-10-02 02:52:19 · answer #3 · answered by Scully 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not healthy for you to be friends with him as your feelings are so much stronger than his. This happens numerous times in relationship in which the couple chooses to stay friends after the relationships fails. Someone always endds up being hurt or given a false hope that the fire will rekindle. End the friendship and start the healing process
2006-10-02 02:40:12 · answer #4 · answered by Mike 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that he really had nothing going on with that other girl and the fact that you were so jealous to break up with him, he is upset and trying to piss you off by dating that other girl even though he probably has no real feelings for her. I'm not saying it's smart, just that "at the time... it seems like a good idea" - to him.
2006-10-02 02:54:39 · answer #5 · answered by tbayxxxv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's possible if you are in a different frame of mind. it sounded like you agreed to continue to be friends, but with strings attached... you still wanted a relationship with this guy and the expectation was you both were still an "item"... you need to totally get over the lover part of this equation, before it can be a friendship.
2006-10-02 02:38:39 · answer #6 · answered by tampico 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
right now id say NO ! It took my ex and myself to be friends again 8 long years and durring the 8 years there was a lot of crap and it was talked about not to long ago...because we were able to talk things through we became friends....but this wasnt possible back then...just go your own way and maybe someday you can look back and even say hi to him again.
2006-10-02 02:47:19 · answer #7 · answered by apleasure2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i understand where youre coming from. that just means your intuitions were right about him. yeah you can still be his friend but that dont mean yall have to talk all the time. just call every once in a while just to make sure hes not dead so u wont miss his funeral or anything. hell yall aint best friends so theres no need to talk to him like that plus that s**t is f**ked upwhat he did.
2006-10-02 02:43:56 · answer #8 · answered by michelle m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
surely not! He became into controlling to commence with and he will do it back in case you supply him of undertaking. you have somebody now, do not do something to clutter that up lady, your ex is in simple terms attempting to get his foot back interior the door now that your chuffed! RandyCasino!!
2016-10-15 10:38:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about it, if this girl dumps him he'll want you to fall back on.
2006-10-02 02:39:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋