though i know most of their details, i feel jealous at the very mention of her ex. she says she loves me more than she ever loved her ex, but she wants to keep in touch with her ex. though i gave my permission i told her to keep me informed when ever they are having a conversation on phone. later i came to know she is not telling me complete truth. is she not yet over her ex? what should i do? i feel like contacting my ex and cheating on my wife!
u guys have any solution?
2006-10-02 02:24:42 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Marry in haste, repent in leisure. I think it takes about 4 years to really know someone. You are a very impulsive person, and so is your wife.
Some women keep ex's around as friends. At best it is nothing, just obnoxious. You know the guy isn't hanging around out of friendship. But sometimes women refuse to see it that way.
Anything you say about this is going to make you look insecure and weak. Even calling the ex and telling him to buzz off will probably be a mark against you, although it might be satisfying enough to be worth doing (if he really cared about her as a real friend he wouldn't be out causing a problem in her marriage).
I say let it be known that you think it's obnoxious for her to keep ex's around as friends, ignore the problem and stop monitoring her phone calls, trust her 100%, and let her know you are ready for a divorce at the first real evidence of cheating.
2006-10-02 02:40:55 · answer #1 · answered by hankthecowdog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, DON"T CHEAT! You'll feel horrible. Now, why did her and the ex never marry? This is very important! When I was younger, I got involved with an older man. Our ages were broad, and we were not "legally" allowed to be together. He kept a girlfriend his age, and I a boyfriend my age, but we continued seeing each other, well after I became legal. We just got so used to the idea of hiding our relationship, that it stayed that way. Even when I met my first husband, the affair continued while we were engaged. Then it became too much, so I broke it off, and married my first husband, which was the worst ten years of my life. I regretted it, especially since my husband turned out to be a loser. If your wife just married you to cover up something that shouldn't be known, then you guys should call it quits, because neither one of you will ever be happy. If you don't think you can trust her, you will go nuts- always wondering what she's up to. I could go on with the horrors my ex put me through, but I will just say if you are not happy, move on. Good luck to you, hope it works out!
2006-10-02 02:39:42 · answer #2 · answered by soleil7372 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After two months of romance... how much do you really know about your wife? You're asking questions that you should already have the answers to before you get married...
I would talk with your wife and point out the discomfort and concerns you have with the contact she has with her ex. If she has lied about the amount and type of contact with her ex, then you must insist that she has NO contact, because it only causes trouble.
Don't contact your ex and go that route, because two cheats don't make a right... if you determine that your wife did have an affair with your ex; it's probably not too late to file for an annulment.
2006-10-02 02:35:27 · answer #3 · answered by E. Gads 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you actually believe that if you cheated on her it would make things better? You never mentioned if her and her ex had children together and if that's the case then of course she'll have contact with him. If not I'd be talking to her and asking just why she feels the need to continue keeping in touch with him. Ask her right out if she still has feelings for him and then go from there.
2006-10-02 02:30:33 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should of never asked you if she could keep in touch with him. Sounds to me, she was asking permission to have sex with him still. I don't know of any marriage that can survive with one or the other, having connections or contacting an ex they had a relationship and sex with. Just doesn't work out like that. She should have more respect for you than that. I don't like to be the accuser but with the information you supplied, I think she is cheating, especially if you have doubts in her honesty. I think you should lay low for awhile, don't do anything drastic, and the truth will come out in time, and from the look of it, it won't be long. If and when you find out, find someone better who doesn't have so many strings attached, and who will treat you like a human, not a door mat.....Sorry for your loss, be strong, move on and take care!
One more thing, don't cheat on her, then you would have sunk to her level, wait....then move on the better things...
2006-10-02 02:33:46 · answer #5 · answered by me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No,no,no,no,no. That whole thing about loving you more than she loves her ex went right out the window as soon as I saw the sentence about her wanting to keep in touch with her ex. Why you married this girl, I don't know, but this is like watching a train coming. You are just asking for pain. Big pain.
2006-10-02 03:37:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, two wrongs don't make a right. Why would you cheat on her? It makes no sense. You married this women without even knowing who she is. People need to date atleast a year in order to really get to know someone. I have found that most people only show you the person they want you to see in the first few months. Second, you need to seek counseling. If this doesn't help, then get divorced. There is no reason why you both need to go to hell for cheating. Good luck and GOD bless you.
2006-10-02 02:52:24 · answer #7 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sound like she is still in love with her ex. But I don't know how you would keep a relationship going if there is another person in her life. What I think is that she might be keeping him around for a safety net. You know when things don't go the way she wants them too she will fall back with him.
I would ask her why does she still want him in her life and make her understand that it is time to move on. Start a brand new chapter in your life.
2006-10-02 02:31:59 · answer #8 · answered by Island Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING??????!!!!!! Never get married on the rebound. She was on the rebound. NO NO NO.....Get an anullment. She was not ready for you. Especially if she wants to keep in touch with her ex. NO NO NO....I've NEVER wanted to contact any of my ex's since the day I married my Husband. Why cheat??? Just remove yourself from the marriage. Get a divorce. It's not worth it. GET A DIVORCE!!!!That is all I know to say. A rebound relationship is not a relationship. It is just like a rebound in basketball. The ball is flying loose and you catch it. Your wife was flying loose and you caught her. Now score 2 points by shooting her behind back in the basket. Do not hesitate. GET A DIVORCE.
2006-10-02 02:30:22 · answer #9 · answered by ga_gyrl91 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would sit down with her and ask her what the story is. I am in a simialr situation although we are not married. Ask her whats going on and tell her your concerns. If you do not like the answer then there are some decisions you need to make. But it sounds like the ex is a security blanket for her. She may love you more but there is a reason why she is still holding on. I think that you need to ask and try and find out why she needs to contact him.
2006-10-02 02:28:38 · answer #10 · answered by kristyn m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋