why is it marriage is the everything and you shouldnt have a baby unless your married? i personally think marriage is out dated and saw my parents split up after 19 years together. does that mean if i choose never to get married i should never have a baby nothing to do with whether i am commited to my partner of 2 years?
2006-10-02 01:42:57 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
what because the childs parents don't share the same surname?
2006-10-02 01:46:34 · update #1
Personal opinion,everyone is entitled to it
2006-10-02 01:45:23 · answer #1 · answered by tfd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't let your parents marriage be the foundation for you never getting married. I've seen my parents marriage split up over 20 years ago. Seven out of eight aunts and uncles on my mom's side of the family are all split from their spouses. I got married 6 years ago and life couldn't be better. Don't get me wrong, it's not easy. You have to really deal with some serious issues and deal with your spouse's bad habits and still look at him/her with love. But believe me, it was worth it. We have 3 beautiful children and it was so great having someone there to go through the pregnancy with me and to be there during the birth. Being a single mom isn't easy unless you have a VERY GOOD CAREER, not just a job, it is not only finacially draining, it is emotionally overwhelming. And plus by having children without being married, unless you use a bank or adoption, your partner has the choice to say " This is not for me and I'm leaving you here with all of the responsibility. And please don't say He/she will never do that to me. YES they will. Have you seen the child support statistics lately? 85% of men/women in this country who owe child support don't pay. Think about what you are saying. Reconsider the marriage factor. Find someone who has been married for 30 years or more and are still together. They will tell you the same thing I am. Take care.
2006-10-02 01:54:17 · answer #2 · answered by ga_gyrl91 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The plan is to have both a Mother and Father raising children. In order to do that it's best if that Mother and Father have a committed relationship between themselves. This gives stability to the family. If Mother and Father were not married they would be free to pursue other people not to say that doesn't happen in a marriage but that was the plan. Today the law has made it easy to get out of a marriage. This usually is not good for young children that need both parents in their lives.
2006-10-02 01:50:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the reason way you think that marriage does not work or is out dated is you are from a divorced family.. my mom and dad got divorced when i was 5 and the reason why my mom and dad divorced is they stop talking to each other. now these days most people are not welling to work on there married.. marriage is work order for you to keep it going both of you need to work together to keep it going.. and for the main question no child should ever grow up with out both parent's being in the some house .. if there is only one parent the child will only get one half of what it need to be a grownup.. good luck and my you and your BF be forever happy..
2006-10-02 01:57:39 · answer #4 · answered by celticdragon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is cultural and there are as many and more ways of getting married as there are distinct cultures in the world today. If you choose to reject the culture of your community and engage in a long-term relationship which includes procreation in a fashion that agrees with you and your partner, I would say that you and your partner have developed your own unique culture and committed to a bonding/marriage of your own devising.
That said, In many societies, the legal status conferred to you and your partner as a couple and to any offspring you have and your status as the parents, is bound up by the prevalent culture of marriage. It may be better for your family's future security to engage in a formal act of marriage that is recognised by the state.
2006-10-02 01:54:31 · answer #5 · answered by blank 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is not everything. Marriage is just a piece of paper that is used for legal reasons. For some it is the most important thing t othem to have that paper but for others is means little. There is no reason why 2 people that are commited to one another should not have a child no matter what their status is
2006-10-02 01:46:18 · answer #6 · answered by Mike 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i had a bad relationships and my parents divorced and i vowed never to marry I have been in a 9 year relationship committed in every sense just no piece of paper to show(marriage license) we are very happy and have a child together she is a healthy happy striving little girl loved and cared for by both her parents and extended families and there is no shame involved around us not marrying..think about it...we live as married except for the actual ceremony...and if you do end up splitting up its no different then divorce you get visitation schedules for the absent parent and get child support etc..but that isn't our case we are still very much in love and together with our kids..i believe society excepts this now..good luck to you
2006-10-02 02:07:30 · answer #7 · answered by Alli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree marraige is outdated but if it suits people i say thats fine. I would like however some sort of commitment from my partner before i went ahead and had a baby though. is he committed to you as much as you are to him? I think you should both discuss come to a decision and just announce to your family/friends that this is what you're doing, its not their choice anyway. Once the baby comes along (if it does) they wont be thinking about a wedding so much anymore will they. Their hearts will melt and they will just love the child. Your happiness is what counts.
2006-10-02 02:05:56 · answer #8 · answered by . 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi my parents split up two after 20 years of marriage.
i think you should do what ever feels right for you and your partner i have been with my partner for over 7 years and if i ever fell pregnant i would not want to run out straight away and get married. You do it when you feel ready.
2006-10-02 01:57:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
surely, if you think back, there WHERE some some great times, just because people change, don`t mean they weren`t some great times there., life is in seasons.you grab what is good, why disrequard the best, cause they did`nt make it./marriage makes a child feel secure. cause, at least at that one time in their lives -2 people loved him together.for some odd reason, couples tend to think that the other person was put here to take care of them-you`re in a relationship-you alone are responsible for your happiness. sure you will share great times, but you`remember both, also, are going togo thru spells of not even liking each other. thats what gives you patience to wait on the cycle of love.you have to be true to each other.no matter what you feel. this is the only person, who truly sees you as you are.you canput on a face for friends etc. yes,their are reasons to get away from each other (divorce) but a lot of people leave, cause *sniff* he-she doesn`t understand me., he`s with his friends to much- hey ,he`s got somekindm of mof substance abuse , he takes advantage of me.folks, i think i`ve been thru all of em.
2006-10-02 01:57:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do whatever you want.
who cares what people want.
you have your opinion because of you experience with your parents.
you shouldnt be scared of getting married just b/c your parent's failed.
and if you want to have a baby, being married is recommended because of the fact that it is a committed relationship law-abiding and will help you if you and your partner do split.
that is why it is beneficial to get married before having a kid.
2006-10-02 01:47:18 · answer #11 · answered by Wite Out 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋