my father's affair?

Question

i think and to certain extend have prof of my fathers and my cousin aunt 's affair so plz help me what should i do plz i want serious answers

Answer 1

As a child born from a mother and a father you dont often see what problems there are between your parents. Unfortunately it is a rare child indeed who views their parents as human beings with needs. If your parents needs are not being met, and lets face it, you would never know that personal side of things...its something most parents will keep well hidden from their children, then it is something you will never understand. You will only ever understand the problems when you yourself know what its like to be unhappy in a relationship, even though you may have children. What children fail to recognise is that whatever is going on with their parents...e.g....one having an affair...it is a problem between the husband and wife...it does not reflect on the amount of love the parent has for their child. You have to learn to disassociate what your father is presumably doing from the feelings of love he has for you. This has nothing to do with him loving you any less...its to do totally with him being unhappy and him needing to find happiness elsewhere. You may love your mother, but you really do not know the intimate details....Love your father as he loves you...dont judge him because you do not know the details.

I just want to add.....I loved my father so much and I always saw him as a person, not just a father....if he felt the need to be with another woman, then it would have been for good reason. I loved my father unconditionally...I loved my mother too....I loved them equally as people...I didnt take sides...I understood that adults have problems that me as a child could never understand....simply because I had never been involved in an unsatisfying relationship.

Answer 2

Unless you have 100% proof; you really have nothing. Now even if you do have a video tape, you will have to consider how many people would be affected and upset by this knowledge other than without... keep in mind, you may have some ill feelings toward you as well, and not just from your father.

If you feel that your mother deserves the right to know, then you should address your father with your evidence and ask him to confess to your mother or you will.

Answer 3

What ever you do do NOT tell your mother! Don't bring it up in a public forum in front of other family members. I think that you should speak to your father or your cousins aunt alone and tell them that you know about their affair and that it needs to stop, tell them you have proof and if they do not stop decieving everyone you will let their spouses know (annonymously of course). If you do this you will have to be prepared that your dad will leave your mum for this lady, if you are not prepared for this stay out of it completely.

Answer 4

Do nothing. You might think you know the situation but you might not. You could create a world of hurt for your mother and others with misinformation. If your father is unfaithful, chances are that your mother already knows it. Don't add insult to injury because your discussion of it would damage her pride that is probably already bashed enough. Love your parents and accept them for what they are...human beings that are not perfect. A marriage is made of two people, not three. Children are loved but a marriage is of your parents...not you and your parents. It is in a strong way none of your business. Love your Dad....you don't know the full story.

Answer 5

Talk to your dad and see what he has to say; but be totally sure before you do because you do not want ot ruin any relationship that you have with your dad. Tell him how and why you are feeling the way that you do and that you would like it to end. Maybe you can have a positive impact on him and make him realize what he is doing is wrong.

Answer 6

It isn't your responsibility to do anything. Stop playing amateur sleuth and let your father live his life, whether he is making mistakes or not. If your mother finds out, she will only feel pain.

Right now, the only ethical course you can follow is to let your father know you know about his affairs. It should be left up to him if he wishes to reveal that information to your mother.

Answer 7

this is a terrible thing for any child to feel,,,young or old they are your parents and this news will hurt but,,,it is not your problem,,tell your dad your fears and how you feel but he is a grown up and so is your mum,,you may not know about their relationship because parents relationships are usually private,,,,he should put your mind at rest but if not he should come clean to your mum because this should not be your burden and under no circumstances cover for him if indeed you find it to be true.tell him you think he is having an afair and that you cant keep it secret from your mum and dont want to,after that keep out of it,,somethings you have to be in to understand and a marriage between parents is one of them.go from there.

Answer 8

When you start to tell family members about affairs it seems to back fire .If you feel as if need to tell it i think you better be prepared for that & some more drama.Maybe the best thing is talk to Dad & tell him you know & if he don't handle it that you will.

Answer 9

My advice: I would steer clear of this unless you ABSOLUTELY have to. This is really between your mom and your dad -- not you. If you have 100% proof and you feel comfortable, you can confront your dad if you wish -- but know that this is a double edged sword. You will likely tarnish your relationship with your dad.

WHATEVER YOU DO... don't bring it to mom before you bring it to dad. You will definitely ruin your relationship with your dad... and you will make it difficult for the two of them to reconcile anything.

Answer 10

Talk to your dad and tell him you want to know what is going on...if there IS anything going on. But don't say anything unless you have seen the two together intimately. Get someone to follow them. Take Pictures before you confront your Dad. Do it the best way you know how and whichever works best.