The bull's deep bellow shakes the earth,
As soon as he sees the light.
And man sleeps through this special day,
The day of no signifficance.
They say this is the reunion,
Of God's garden of Eden,
This is the world that God first made,
The God of no signifficance.
Each and every sound of nature,
Is hanging in the sky,
For they know today that nothing can wake,
The men of no signifficance.
This is the world's greatest day,
Yet you have been taught nothing.
For how can you learn anything fom,
A thing of no signifficance.
2006-10-02 00:38:23 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
I don't understand parts of it but it is really good....i enjoy writing poems too..
2006-10-02 00:41:03 · answer #1 · answered by Lorraine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I liked the 3 rd paragraph, i think you are talking about the environment, pollution. You said that nature is screaming to man to save her but the man is of no significance ( man does nothing )
* Your idea is not obvious to readers. try to express your feeeling more, i know it's inside you but ppl write poetry so that they can transfer what they feel to others which is a very hard mission.
* i did not like you saying " The God of no significance "
* take care of the rhyming scheme of your poem, it's very a nice thing cos it gives your poem a kind of inner music.
keep it up and have a nice day.
2006-10-02 07:56:50 · answer #2 · answered by 6SLV 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good stuff, mate. Got a bit redundant, but that's probably the point. I can't get much out of it as of now, but then that might be because I'm tired. Great doomsday/Apocalypse/biblical thing going on there. Feels great right now, but I also get the feeling that you can go further with it. I'm just an amateur, so I can't dissect it as well as others out there, but I like it and I think you can make even better stuff.
Kudos, dude. More power!
2006-10-02 08:01:34 · answer #3 · answered by walrus carpenter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, it seems a bit self-conscious and awkward. The idea is interesting, but the repetition feels forced (a bit tacked on) and the details don't pan out -- for example, in the third stanza, "they" doesn't seem to refer to anything. It can't be nature (singular), and it can't be the sounds of nature, because they're incapable of knowing anything.
There are mechanical trivia to attend to; for example, in the penultimate line, "from" is misspelled, and the comma ruins the enjambment. On the last line "significance" is misspelled. Actually, now that I look at it, it is misspelled in every iteration. At least you're consistent. :-)
The theme is interesting and worth developing, but my advice would be to take your favorite parts of this poem and incorporate them into a new one.
2006-10-02 08:08:09 · answer #4 · answered by Drew 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have the ability to tell people they are wasting their lives away, caring less that they know nothing and care less to know anything more, and loving every minute of it.
Say it louder and on a public forum of some type to get the message over to them and they might do something.
Great poem, hope you get paid for it.
2006-10-02 07:46:19 · answer #5 · answered by entregan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you enjoy philosophic, inspirational, professional and penetrating poetry this is the right poem! Brilliant!!!
2006-10-02 07:44:50 · answer #6 · answered by Noble 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Worth the paper it's written on and I don't say that very often.
Also it's really good.
2006-10-02 07:49:11 · answer #7 · answered by isis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a thing of no significance. But surely that is the point.
2006-10-02 07:48:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dark and sombre. Well written.
2006-10-02 07:41:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should check your spelling..... and it reminds me of ecclesiates in the bible...... there's nothing new under the sun
2006-10-02 07:41:17 · answer #10 · answered by who me? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋