MY QUESTION IS HOW DO U FORGIVE UR HUSBAND FOR SOMETHING HE DID WRONG LIKE JUST REMEMBER I DO NOT KNOW FOR SURE IF HE CHEATED BUT I CAUGHT HIM SMOKING WITH ANOTHER WOMEN WHICH HE WAS LYING ABOUT. WHY I DO NOT KNOW WHY HE WOULD LYING BOUT SMOKING WITH HER BECAUSE SHE IS VERY FAT WHICH I AM NOT BUT I NEED TO KNOW HOW TO FORGIVE. I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH FOGIVING. SOMETIMES I THINK I DO NOT WNAT TO FORGIVE HIM UNTIL I KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON THE TRUTH..
I DO NOT THINK I WANT TO FORGIVE HIM THIS TIME
HE HAS LIED TO ME IN THE PAST ABOUT GETTING ON PORN AND GOING TO THE BAR AND GETTING A NOTHER GIRLS PHONE NUMBER
MAYBE ABOUT TIME I FORGET ABOUT FORGIVING HIM FOR HIS STUPID MAISTAKES
2006-10-01 21:44:08 · 14 answers · asked by josie w 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
as long as you can't forget...you can't forgive....forgiving is part of forgetting...
2006-10-01 21:49:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the issue is the lying. To me that is a reason to move on. If he lies about the small things, he will lie about the big things. Lying is not forgivable to me, because "sorry, I'll never do it again" is just another lie. People are liars or they're not. Get out while you still have time to find happiness with a man who does not lie. You cannot ever be at peace with a liar, EVER! And they do not change. It shows that he cares more about what you think he's doing than what he is really doing. Good luck!
2006-10-02 05:18:08 · answer #2 · answered by Jacqueline 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are some what confused. What is it you want to forgive him of? You do not know if he cheated. What is wrong with smoking with someone. OK. he told you that he was not smoking with her so what? May be he knew you would kick up a storm about it and did not want to disturb your mind.
You said that you re having a problem with forgiveness. well may be you need to settle that problem an get control of yourself then move on to forgive him for all the crimes he has committed
2006-10-02 06:27:20 · answer #3 · answered by sexonsight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds more to me ur looking for an excuse to get out of ur marriage more so then forgiving him for "stupid" mistakes.. theres an obvious lack of trust on both ends of your marriage, he doesnt trust u with telling the truth.. cause well he feels ur so insecure that u'll get mad at anything so he feels he's walking on egg shells 24/7 and he's gotten to the point that its better to lie to u in hopes u wont realize its a lie to keep u from wigging out about the slightest thing, because u've become over judgemental.... and because he's lying, you have a problem with trusting him, which in turn has probably caused ur lack of faith in him , which has caused the insecurities.. to keep this an on going cycle of making each other miserable.. to the point that the most trivial of things is eatting u up..
Curious how long ago did the bar/phone number thing happen? And how many times has he had to hear about it since?.. just because u forgive someone of wrong doing doesnt mean u have to forget it.. but u cant keep bringing it up either if u've chosen to really forgive them for the act..
I think the porn/bar/number thing was really wrong....but im wondering if its been thrown in his face so many times, that he feels he has no freedom to anything such as smoke a ciggarette with an unattractive girl.. to the point that he feels he has to lie to u , cause he fears telling u the truth.. because ur not always very understanding, and you like to harbor ur feelings and throw them at him any time it seems fitting for u..so now he's become a hibitual liar because he's afraid of getting in trouble for even the most stupid of things, because u've become over bearing...and even when he's sorry for something, admits to being wrong, and life goes on.. u still go back and bring it up over and over and over again to the point that he feels that he will never be set free of the mistakes he's made, so why tell the truth..
If u really want to forgive him, then forgive him and put it in the back of your head and move on.. dwelling in the past will never give u a bright future.. but if you want ur marriage to work, u need to learn to forgive the small stuff and work on the issues at hand.. so that u can battle through the hard times in your marriage.. or u need to give up, cause this cycle that ur both doing to each other now, will ultimately ruin your marriage when one of u gets tired of the other constantly making u feel this way..
2006-10-02 04:58:05 · answer #4 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Forgiveness is a big word but not always warranted!
2. Try praying for him. He just might turn over a new leaf!
3. Personally I would not waste time on a guy who lied to me ( I divorced my husband for lying). It is just too heart-wrenching to put up with a known liar! No matter what you feel about him
2006-10-02 04:51:32 · answer #5 · answered by CJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he mean to you? Unkind? Not having proof about the down and dirty details of a suspected liason by your husband is your own insecurities unless all of his actions the rest of the time that you are together are causing you grief most of the time. Weigh the rest of your time with him to see if its worth the trouble. Seek some marital or spiritual counsel. Work together for peace in your relationship. Best of luck.
2006-10-02 04:52:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was just smoking with her, what needs to be forgiven?
Stop wasting your life watching him. Do something constructive with your own life. If he keeps interferring with what you're doing, then dump his sorry azz and move on with your own life.
You're wasting far too much time "babysitting him". Grown people don't need to be watched over. You simply need your own life. I'm not saying that to be mean, i'm saying you should do something for you. Stop wasting it. You deserve a better life than that.
2006-10-02 05:17:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust is one of the most important things in a relationship. You have to evaluate how much you love him and if you feel he will ever change. Confront him and set expectations.
2006-10-02 04:49:53 · answer #8 · answered by patient X 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur husband sounds to be a kid of 18.
:-)
forgive him anyway
2006-10-02 04:47:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
who the hell are you to be so controlling as to feel someone needs your forgiveness
2006-10-02 05:16:34 · answer #10 · answered by bobby h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no way to forgive unless you want to
2006-10-02 06:00:16 · answer #11 · answered by coupnomo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋