Your own personal philosophy?

Question

When it comes to life, love, relationships, career? The reason I ask is...I'm 21 years old my birthday is in 11 days...and for the first time...I'm not the least bit excited...my best friend who has always been single, now has a boyfriend...the job outlook is not as promising as I thought i would be and to be honest I don't even know if I'm interested in my college major...and this best friend with the new boyfriend was supposed to be my roomate in NYC (we already have an appartment) but now shes in no hurry to move...to top it all off my college sweetheart is moving back home 3 days before my birthday (3 hours away to albany). I always thought that I was a sucker for love and once I found "The one" I'd do anything to protect it...which now means moving away from my parents...the ONLY family I have (not to mention I'm an only child, & my dad works the night shift so I would literally be leaving my mother with no one) and I know many of you will say I'm 2 young to have found the one

anyway but I really do believe that this one is the one for me...I don't give my heart away easily and he has it totally and completely. But with my birthday fast approaching and friends moving into new relationships/careers/locations...i find myself entering a "20 something life crisis" within a week...up is down, right is wrong do you follow your heart or your brain? Do you go with what you have always thought was right? Or what you have suddenly realized you can not live without?

Answer 1

You are 20. The only way to find the answers to your questions is to live them. Don't speculate too much, just let it happen. Enjoy this time in your life. If he's not the one, so what? There will be another, and another and you will find the right one. As far as your Mom, she'll be fine. We "empty nest" for awhile, but we survive. (I'm a Mom). Get out there, have some fun. Live! It's the best time of your life.

Answer 2

Mother Nature put your head on top, with the parts you feel with lower down. This was to help you remember that your head must control the rest of you. The "heart," referenced as the seat of emotions, is lower. The other stuff you use in getting heavily involved in a relationship is lower still. They tell your head what they feel, but your head must make the choices.

I'm not sure exactly how you analyze the "rational" versus the emotional in all this, but if your plans are coming apart, it is time to decide the pros and cons of changing your plans. For example, you suggest that your college major may not be the right field for you. No sense spending more time and money on it if it is not, and the credits will still be on your transcript if you decide to go back in a year or two.

As to the pros and cons of the relation to your current boyfriend, it is not clear how you feel about him, let alone which direction he is moving "back home." Will he be nearer where you live now, or where you go to school?

Leaving your mother alone while your father is working the night shift might well be a wrench, but if you are doing something you find really compelling, it might be worth it. But doing it to pursue plans about which you have become decidedly ambivalent is another matter entirely.

It sounds like you might do well to see if there's a job you might like doing in your home town, live with your parents for a year or two, and give yourself some time. Twenty-one is young enough that you can afford to buy time for nearly anything. If you got a job that was related in some way to the college major you have become ambivalent about, it might help make up your mind. Is such a job possible? If not, perhaps a secondary interest of yours might prove more fruitful in the long run. In any case, you need to think in terms of the long haul, and what you like to do that might pay enough to support you.

The modern business world is so incredibly diverse that I'm convinced any reasonably intelligent young person can find something that really is satisfying. A job so interesting you look forward to Monday mornings. Do the self-analysis you need to discover where your heart lies with regard to careers, and you may find that it does not lie with what is expected of you. No matter; people who love you want you to be happy more than they want you to be a particular profession.

Good luck and God bless!

Answer 3

Well, I hate to tell you this but I have to be honest. I'm 37 and have been in several different careers. Be brave and go after what your heart is telling you is right for you. But use your mind in preparing every detail for yourself. Don't leave anything to chance as you chart your course. As far as love, I don't doubt that your love is real but it can be gone in the blink of an eye. Sometimes love blinds us and I don't want you to mess up your career because your confused. This dude should be a very good friend to you that you can talk to and understands you in every way. If not, he's not worth reserving a place in your future. I'm going after a career in fire fighting but I would have gone after it around the time Backdraft came out but I had too much fear in my life and kept putting it off. One last word of wisdom: it's better to make just enough money to live on and do something you really love, then to earn twice as much money and not like your job.

Answer 4

Point blank, when given the choice to follow the brain or heart, there is no right or wrong answer. I will offer this; no one wants to find themselves unhappy 10 years from now wondering "what if I'd..." Life is about living and learning. If you try and something doesn't work out as planned, try something else but if you don't try, you'll never know. You could be missing out on something great right in front of you! Take a chance! Find happiness for yourself! Best of luck

Answer 5

Get roots planted somewhere and start building your life before it's over. There is no such thing as destiny, your future is what you make it, if you don't start constructing it now, nobody else will build it for you.

Believe only in yourself and listen to your intuition - then work like mad to make those intuitions a reality. Don't be lazy or lose your head in the clouds. Look reality straight in the eye and make the best of it.

Answer 6

I agree really Imithohtar. anybody has a own philosophy, and it regularly develop into no longer generated through that individual. even with the indisputable fact that, i'd favor to operate: i think, (and that i think this may properly be considered philosophizing, so take notes, lol), that even as philosophy is inherent in mankind as an complete, few have a knack for it. The act itself contains placing apart oneself from the universe as an complete to visual demonstrate unit it in a fashion it quite is fullyyt unique for each body. even as one does this, they commence to observe subtle nuances in the way issues paintings and the almost impercievable lack of replace. there's a saying: "The extra issues replace, the added they stay a similar." i don't understand who suggested it, even with the indisputable fact that it strikes me as remarkably authentic. imagine about it, for all the cultural and social differences we've revamped the last umpteen years, alongside with the enlightenment we've performed through trials and tribulations, mankind continues to be the basically a similar as we were in the course of the time of Jesus as an social gathering. 2-thousand years of journey must have taught us a lesson or 100, yet we've both discovered no longer some thing, or the human beast is incapable of authentic replace. i think the latter. besides, it quite is my lengthy and drawn out "answer". i wish this develop into useful, fairly than tangential. It develop into tangential wasn't it?

Answer 7

Life, career, love, relationships are perceptions made out of past experiences attached with emotion. Detach the emotion from all those and look at it fresh. You will see everything always as fresh and new. Emotional attachment towards all those makes things worse and rotten. I will only say, there are different meditation methods to get out of the trap of attaching emotion to external movements by mind. See external movement as external and internal emotion is a perception and comparison with past. Even if it is one second before, it is past. Heart cheats with emotions. Intellect deceives with past perceptions. Living in present by seeing everything fresh and new will make you a genius without inteference of emotional baggage. Happy Birthday.

Answer 8

I think that if your true to yourself and others, and always take the kinder option - even if it is harder, then good things will come to you.

I try to live my life by karma, and even though I am stuck in a spot like yours (22, single, no real job, still at home), every time i do something unselfish i think that that is another thing that will go right for me in the future.

This link says it all.

Answer 9

I may be too young to answer the question, but hey! age doesn't matter in love...
I certainly believe that if he is really the one, fate will find a way for you whatever the circumstances may be. Why hurry?
Do not worry too much.you are different from your friend. and all you have to do is enjoy your freedom. It's a gift!
just remember, in loving, you should first learn to love yourself more than you love your "the one".

Answer 10

Change is the essence of life friends change,relations change,life partners change the only thing that remain unchanged is "YOU"
so learn to understand yourself better ,to follow what you always thought was right or to follow what you think is right in present times well you need to strike a balance between the two.I believe "NEVER NEVER GIVE UP" your basic principals will remain the same only approach will be different.just be yourself & take evreything in your stride 'ther's a silent observer who would guide you through thicks & thins to know him YOU have to know YOURSELF