he has been having dreams and fantasies about me putting things in his bum with all manner of things. i just dont know what to do about it. i love him and we have been together for 5years. shud i stay and try and do these things or shud i leave him? is it normal 4guys to want things like that?
2006-10-01 20:38:19 · 48 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
we have been together for 5yrs. we have a daughter of 3. he has sexual fantasiesabout being fucked up the **** by me. he was raped when he was 12 so i think it is 2do with that. i just feel like i am not good enough to satisfy him nemore. whether he wants a man or not i dont feel like he wants me at all bcuz i think he wants me 2b someone else. can u help?
2006-10-01 23:42:26 · update #1
This is far from embarrassment. There is nothing wrong with your boyfriend, it is quite normal for a man to have these sexual fantasies and desires. You shouldn't throw away 5 yrs. of a good relationship because he's open with you about his sexual desires. This doesn't make him gay or anything. I don't know anyone who is into that sorta thing, but I hear about it all the time. I actually hear a lot about it from the show "Talk Sex With Sue." I believe that's the name of it. It's on the Oxygen channel. Anyway, be proud that he's communicating with you about his sexual fantasies. Many men are ashamed or would think exactly the way you're thinking. They would be embarrassed and think that others would perceive them gay. It's great that he's showing honesty. Just be open with him and communicate. Talk to him about his sexual desires. It wouldn't be a bad thing if you both brought a little excitement into the bedroom. Your bedroom is your fortress, it's meant to have excitement with spice. You never know, things like sexual fantasies open up a hole new realm into your relationship and will bring more sexual appetite into the bedroom. My boyfriend isn't into me sticking objects up his booty, but being the kinky person I am, I am open to anything new. If he were to want to try something new, I would be open to it. We installed mirrors in both of our bedrooms, so we can enjoy the sexual experience of watching one another. I dress up and role play for him all the time. I use lotions on him. We try new sexual positions and we have sex not only in our bedroom, but we have sex all over the house. I strip and give him lap dances. We use food to make the sex more intense. Plus we just became part of the Mile High Club. My fantasy is to have sex on a train, something about sex in public turns me on. He's open to anything and so am I. There's only one thing I will not do, and I won't have threesomes. Sorry boys, but I'm not open to that. GL and don't be afraid.
2006-10-01 21:25:17 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Sweetness572♥ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Natalie - I must say that I think this is a bit unusual, without trying to be too crude, it is more normal for a bloke to want to do the reverse, if you see what I mean, with you being on the receiving end!
Like all other things in a relationship, you must remain true to yourself and your feelings - never do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. If you don't mind doing it, go ahead, but just make sure that whatever you use cannot, errm, disappear inside him, or you could have an embarrasing trip to Casualty!
It could just be that after 5 years he feels that your sex life has become a bit stale, and is looking for a way to liven it up. Talk to him properly, and if the two of you can't talk like that, think seriously about you moving on - at your age of 20, it sounds like he was your first and vice-versa, and it may be just that you are outgrowing each other.
You have to think that you have 60 more years ahead of you, and there may be more to experience in this world than just this fellow.
2006-10-01 20:51:26 · answer #2 · answered by Peter C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give it to him!
Pegging describes a sexual practice by which a man is anally penetrated by a woman wearing a strap-on dildo. The act of pegging can be enjoyable for both partners: men may find stimulation of the anus, rectum and adjacent organs, particularly the prostate, enjoyable provided that enough lubricant is used, and women may get direct stimulation from the dildo, from its base, from vaginal or anal "plugs", or in the case of a form of double-ended dildo, from vaginal penetration on the other end. Additionally, a woman could use a secondary vibrator, between the dildo and her clitoris, to get pleasure from pegging. Men and women may also find pleasure in the psychological aspects of submitting and dominating, respectively, though as BDSM practitioners might point out, the act of being penetrated is not necessarily experienced as a submissive act, nor is the act of penetrating always experienced as a dominant act.
Given the stigma associated with anal sex (and its association with male homosexuality), some people, many of them heterosexual, derive enjoyment from the taboo or gender-transgressive aspects of pegging. Some women may enjoy the feeling of having a "simulated penis," while some males enjoy the experience of receptive penetration. Dan Savage, who is gay, has suggested half-jokingly that all heterosexual men should get "pegged" at least once.
2006-10-02 00:14:30 · answer #3 · answered by Sara_V. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm well it's normal it's more an issue of how comfortable u are with doing it to him and if you're not comfortable doing or trying that then don't. I wouldn't leave him over it no but I would ask him if this is something new for him or something he has done with other women. I know u said he is having fantasies and dreams about it I would be wondering if he had done it before especially if he was so willing to to make it reality now.
2006-10-01 20:49:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be taboo, but actually can be key to unlocking a more intense form of sexual pleasure in a man. Males have g-spots too, and they are reached anally. Some men are afraid to admit their desire to experience this because they fear it is homosexual. If something is anally insterted in your man just before ejaculation he will most likely experience a more intense orgasm. No one should be forced to perform sexual acts they are uncomfortable with, but at the same time, if you knew of a way to make sex much more pleasurable for you, wouldnt you want him to perform it? Do some research on safe anal sex (lots of lube!) and have frank but loving discussions with him. Alcohol may help too, if you just need to relax a bit. I would have to say that your relationship must be pretty weak if you would consider leaving him over him sharing a fairly tame fantasy. Its not like its anything innappropriate or harmful to anyone. Good luck, and I hope you guys can work thru this. It would quite a waste of 5 years.
2006-10-01 20:44:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it ... maybe it is connected with the rape - in which case he should get some counselling, maybe it's a fantasy he wants to make come true.
There's no problem with having anything stuck up his back entrance - the prostate / male "G spot" is massaged better that way - and as long as it's only between you two, I see no real harm.
If he wants another male up there then he needs to make a choice about your relationship - is he gay or at best bisexual?
2006-10-02 00:22:08 · answer #6 · answered by Marinersfan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually its perfectly normal.. my husband and I do it all the time. That doesnt make him gay.. just sexually open and it's great! I just recently bought toys to use on him.. it's made our sex life incredible. Don't make him feel bad for these things.. you should be happy that he is open enough to tell you.. Hold on to those! Many men desire that.. but they hold it in for fear of people (especially the one they love) thinking that they are gay. You might wind up finding a side of you that you never knew you had. Give it a try!
2006-10-01 20:42:16 · answer #7 · answered by Mel and Ed 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's out in the open lately in magazine articles, television talk shows and the gossip that the men's 'g-spot' is located there. Dont know if it's normal...its seems though to be a recent discovery or a news worthy interest to men in particular. (of course, hehe)
2006-10-01 20:46:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This does not mean he is gay. Both men and women enjoy anal stimulation, men more than women I would suggest, because in men it stimulates their prostate and makes their orgasm more intense.
If you are not repulsed by the idea, go for it, just be careful, don't use anything that could hurt him or get lost in there. Always use lube.
Anal beads can be fun. Or slip a well lubed finger is as you give him oral, it will blow his mind ;)
2006-10-01 20:55:39 · answer #9 · answered by Nettle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best would be to talk to him. If you are uncomfortable about it, tell him. He's being open-minded and wants to try new things. He should therefore be open-minded about how you feel. Don't dump him over this. There's always a solution. Just remember that you don't have to do anything if you don't want to.
2006-10-01 20:43:26 · answer #10 · answered by horsey1886 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋