I'm 47 & my husband is 59. Our 2 yr anniversary was this past friday. On that day, both of us lost our jobs due to the job being deleted (we work in different places & we weren't fired). I know there's a ton of other jobs out there & I have put my resume in everywhere since friday already so I should have something by the end of this week I would think. Now comes the problem. My husband, who's normally affectionate, now refuses to give me any affection & absolutely no sex at all. When I question him about it, he says he's not ill & that he's not mad at me or anything, yet when I tell him I want sex, all he will say is "maybe" or words to that effect. He worked on a farm and there was this one girl he seemed fond of which keeps running through my mind although I don't THINK he would have had time to have an affair. So is he acting this way because he's depressed or does he miss ONLY his job, OR does he miss this other girl ?? He made good friends on the job as well. HELP !
2006-10-01 20:11:53 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm sure he is worried about losing his job and add losing seeing his friends into the mix also it makes for some stress if he gets a new job and the behavior continues then i might worry about his having had an affair with the girl however i don't think that will be the case for you.
2006-10-01 20:16:44 · answer #1 · answered by Amy M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot of a mans' self worth is tied up in his ability to provide and protect.
He lost his job, and though it is easier for a woman to bounce back from something like that, a man can fall into depression and lose interest in a whole range of things.
Encourage him and make it known that you love and support him no matter how he might be feeling. Do those little things that he loves so much. Maybe get out of the house together for a few hours.
Give him a little time to sort this out in his own way. Let him know that you trust his judgement. If it goes on for more than, let's say, a week, then you should start pushing---gently.
But in the meantime, just love him and give him some room. He'll come around.
2006-10-02 03:26:26 · answer #2 · answered by Rebecca C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Follow your gut. We were given instinct for a reason. If you have reason to suspect this woman, then your husband can quite possibly be having an affair. If you are the jealous type however, than make sure you have your facts straight before you go accusing him. Talk to him frankly and let him know how you feel. It may just be a hard time that he's going through. Give him the opportunity to tell you the truth. And if things persist, counseling can always help.
2006-10-02 03:22:18 · answer #3 · answered by kamischi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he's probably worried about finances as well as finding another job with his age. Not saying there isn't any out there for him but I"m sure he thinks about this. All I can say is try to be there for him and I"m sure with time he'll get back to his ole self. Doesn't sound like he had something going with this other girl if this didn't start until after his job loss. But if things don't change or it is really bothering you I guess all you could do is try to talk to him about your feelings and see. Good luck to you.
2006-10-02 08:48:18 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's quite possible that the job loss has gotten to him. It's a really rough thing. It sounds like he's probably a little depressed about it. And if you worry, you should just ask him what is wrong (but make sure not to go into that thinking that he may have done something horrible)
2006-10-02 03:21:24 · answer #5 · answered by Adrianna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's upset about losing his job. Men feel alot of pressure to have a steady income, and to be the primary bread winner. He's probably worried because the bills will come in whether the money is or not. Maybe you should give him a little more time, patience, and above all support.
2006-10-02 03:22:49 · answer #6 · answered by Jennie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
redrock
Part of a man's identity is the ability to provide for those he loves. Perhaps he feels inadequate because he lost his job? He may not be mad at you, per se...but I'll bet he's plenty miffed at the loss of his employment and/or the inability to find "new" employment. Or, if he has found another job since the loss of the last one, perhaps he's not "comfortable" in his new surroundings, duties, et cetera. It's a very stressful time for the both of you. I wish you all the best.
Don't let your thoughts of "another woman" cloud your feelings for your husband. It only serves to create conflict between you.
2006-10-02 03:20:12 · answer #7 · answered by vamedic4 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like stress is the reason. Don't pressure him, just be there for him and provide him with emotional support. You both need to do this for each other during this difficult period of your lives. I'm sure it will work out for you when you both get jobs. Good luck,
2006-10-02 03:17:51 · answer #8 · answered by ( . ) ( . ) 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i lost my job once and i didn't see it coming, it sent me into a depression. nothing to serious, but i felt guilty, i felt less of a man. i had a hard time being close to my gf. then i got a job and things were fine
2006-10-02 03:28:59 · answer #9 · answered by jesse james 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol i honestly think u should spy on him....just to see if he is havin an affair...also...buy a porno video thats not really that hardcore and watch it together...if he refuses...talk to him about y he doesnt want to spend time with u
2006-10-02 03:16:28 · answer #10 · answered by lava_hotty1234 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋