ok, my husband and i got back together after being seperated for 7, months 8 months ago. we seperated because of his drinking. he moved back here from another state with no money so we had to move in with my mother and pay rent. things were not going well, he started to drink again..i started talking to another guy and he found out. i stopped talking to other guy, he kept drinking. he decided he had to go back to other state because he couldn't stand to live at my mothers any more and he wants me to follow in a few months. i don't know if i should go or not. he said he will stop drinking. i don't trust it and he said he doesn't trust i won't start to talk to another guy again. i stopped talking to that guy but he kept drinking. what would you do?
2006-10-01 18:47:35 · 18 answers · asked by sweet serinity 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like your husband needs to stop drinking before you make a decision to be with him. Even then, I'm sorry to say, the drinking may start up again.
It sounds safer for your happiness and possibly safety to stay away from him for a while. The fact that he moved away, moved back and now wants to move again shows his instability.
You sound as if you've lost interest in him as well.
Don't rush any decisions but I think you know in your heart what would be best.
Good luck to you.
2006-10-01 19:10:16 · answer #1 · answered by happywhereIam 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You separated because of his drinking. He is still drinking, and he is not going to stop. You either decide that you will take him as he is or you realize that you can't stand the life that you are in together. It is very lonely to be married to an alcoholic. I know that. Think about how crushing the isolation of that kind of marriage and being away in another state would be. I think you have more hope just dealing with the short term emptiness and loneliness of being divorced compared to the lifetime sentence of being married to an alcoholic.
2006-10-01 18:58:00 · answer #2 · answered by anabasisx 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him move and you go talk to the other guy. And I only say that because if he was serious about quitting drinking then he would have done it because he was sick of it not for you or any other reason besides he's tired of it. He has to do it for him and then work on the marriage. Do you know what I mean.
2006-10-01 19:47:26 · answer #3 · answered by flutterby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop holding your soon to be Ex Husbands hand and make hi mdecide the bottle or his old life.PERIOD .
he MUST CHOOSE his path.You can not choose it nor ca nanyone else.
HE MUST DO THIS for himself or it will never work.Either he admits he has a drinking issue and deals with it or you and the rest of his family will watch him drink himself into the ground.So why ask a question on what you should do whe nthis is WHAT WILL HE DECIDE ?
Its all up to him to decide to get help and stop drinking or you will never have the chance to fix your marriage with him.
2006-10-01 18:52:27 · answer #4 · answered by Glenn T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him when he is sober for 3 months you will consider moving to the other state. You have given up your thing and he hasn't. He needs to show you he can do something better. He might just want to get you away from your mother's home. Don't move.
2006-10-02 06:36:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pray. Pray for wisdom and guidance. It never fails. Pray for yourself and your husband. Assure him of your love and fidelity. Show him that you trust and care for him. Your husband needs your full support specially as he goes through very tough times with himself and whatever is bothering him. Pray always. Don't give up on him.
Remember, "you reap what you sow." Plant the good seeds for a happy relationship with your husband. He is the only one you've got. Don't think that someone out there could be better. He is the only one you've got. Help build him up again. Surely, you found something you wanted about him that attracted you to him. Rediscover it. Find him again.
2006-10-01 18:57:03 · answer #6 · answered by Bong-Jeweller of San Francisco 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Move on honey , If nothing change after being separated maybe it will never happen, If he cared about himself and loosing you he would change for the better. Make sure when you meet a guy to fully look threw him before making any sudden decision.
2006-10-01 18:55:13 · answer #7 · answered by angel_nc2001 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do you love him? do you trust him? if you do then you need to go if not you can't...i mean why would you give up yourself if you don't really love him...so you need to think really hard and if you have kids the drinking thing is really bad...if he doesn't quit it will only get worse even if he's a happy drunk now have you ever seen an old happy drunk...you know the answer in your heart and head just listen to yourself your the only one who knows this answer....good luck
2006-10-01 18:53:25 · answer #8 · answered by bunny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him to start attending alcoholics anonymous and to send you his 30 day pin as proof that he is serious. And then I would move back with the stipulation that he continues going to and abiding by his meetings. You should also see about going to alanon for support for families of drinkers.
2006-10-01 18:52:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well here my advice I would not move with him. stay where u are and u will find something better.. Some one who u can trust and who isn't a drunk because he will not quick drinking until he gets help and u cant help him until he helps him self so do not move kk
do it for urself...
2006-10-01 20:20:50 · answer #10 · answered by josie w 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋